You know when you’re at a party?
Me neither. I’m a mom.
Let’s start again.
Imagine you’re at a party where you don’t know any people. You’re working the crowd. You likely won’t see any of these people again so you’re free to fake your way through a job you don’t have.
What job would you choose?
I’ve thought about this too much.
Here are the top five job titles I’d love to fake my way through at a party:
- Motion Capture Actor: you know those people that get in skin tight suits and jump on trampolines so animators can capture their movements? OK. Me neither. But I can see myself drinking a couple of glasses of wine explaining it.
- Choreoanimator: I first learned about this job when watching Aaron Sorkin’s Sports Night. It’s a person who makes up dance sequences for cartoons. I can fake my way through that. I’ve seen Shrek. “Remember ‘Welcome to Dulac’? I was the choreoanimator behind that.”
- Obituary Writer: Because I read obituaries. And because it’s a job title that has a swear word hidden in it. Still, I could fake it: “James Gandolfini took me by surprise, but I had Elizabeth Taylor’s obit written a decade before she passed.”
- ‘Before’ Model: One who poses for the first part of the before-and-after photo? I could create outrage with conversation. “Yes, there really is such a thing. It’s a good gig. Of course, I only get paid half of what the thin models get…”
- Nail Polish Namer: “Well, Fighting Vixen was the last polish I named, but I have a new series coming out with Opi next month. My agent won’t allow me to talk about it, though; we signed a confidentiality agreement.”
What job title would you love to fake your way through?
Or, what would be a great nail polish colour?