5 Resolutions Made by a 5-Year-Old

To the delight of parents everywhere – and to the consternation of teachers– this past week meant back to school. For Vivian, my daughter, the first day back in Kindergarten afforded her the opportunity to write resolutions using inventing spelling. She has five wishes for 2010, and her hopes make me both smile and cringe.

Vivian’s 1^st Resolution: do my numbrs bedder.

A perfectionist-in-training, Vivian has high standards, too high. When I asked her what’s wrong with the numbers she currently prints, she said, “My 3’s could be better.” They’re already more legible than any doctor’s penmanship. This resolution is from the child who practiced “sitting down” fifty times one day (when she was eight-months-old).

Vivian’s 2^nd Resolution: Reed bedder.

This resolution may seem admirable, but she’s starting to read my tweets. I’m getting paranoid. What happens when she reads my blog?

Vivian’s 3^rd Resolution: I hope to go skating.

If sledding is the highlight of her month, you can imagine how she’d feel if we ever took her and William skating. But to take them skating in the same year that we took them sledding?  I mean really. Wouldn’t that be just a bit over the top? It’s not like it’s convenient or anything, with the community rink at the top of our street.  It’s not like we’re Canadian and that skating is a freaking right of passage. Seriously.

Vivian’s 4^th Resolution: I hope to get less stuffees.

Tired of too many stuffed animals in their bedroom, last summer I asked both Vivian and William to select five stuffies to “give away,” which turned into a euphemism for “secretly throw them in the garbage.” Yes, I may have led them to believe there were needy children with no stuffies to cuddle. Evidently, Vivian hasn’t forgotten, and she’s hoping to do more humanitarian work this year.

Vivian’s 5^th Resolution: Eat less junk food.

Okay, is this kid five or twenty-five? It’s not like she’s even had soft drinks or a chocolate bar. Well, that may not be entirely true. She and William did plunder our pantry early one morning. They found my secret stash of 100-calorie chocolate bars (you know, the ones you can eat four of because they’re low-cal?). Well, judging from the amount of chocolate on her face, she got a good share of the booty.

Given Vivian’s ability to focus and get the job done, my money’s with her on keeping her resolutions. She, together with her brother, can outwit, outlast, and outplay me anyday.