Do you know what’s not fun? Driving thirteen hours across the Canadian prairies in one day. You know what makes it more fun? Cruising in a 2017 Lincoln MKX. This full-size SUV even makes hitting kamikaze grasshoppers, moths, and dragonflies—the only living things we often saw for kilometres—kind of fun. (If there’s a PETA for […]
My original blog, IronicMom.com, launched me into the world of social media, publishing, and—most importantly—community. Many of my closest friends I met online. Enjoy perusing the archives of this humour blog or the more recent newsy stuff (below), which I hope is still funny. The best thing about this blog are my readers. They are hilarious. The comments they leave will have you spewing coffee over your laptop.
Plus, consider subscribing to my newsletter to capture some of the craziness that is our world.
Here is a collection of texts sent to me recently by my funny husband (a.k.a Chris, once known as Conan the Librarian), just in case you’ve been wondering what 16.6 years of marriage looks like… On texting his mom: An update on what’s in our garage: And now this: Assuring me the kids are okay: Advice on how to get […]
I’m feeling very Canadian. Our national band, The Tragically Hip, gave their last concert in Kingston because their frontman Gord Downie—who’s been called Canada’s Shakespeare and poet laureate—has incurable brain cancer. On Saturday, CBC carried the concert live, and a nation shut down to watch, to celebrate, and to say goodbye. I’m feeling very Canadian. […]
I’m a sucker for before-and-after shots—and not just because most mornings I feel like a “before” model in the back pages of one of those magazines whose mission is to make you feel worse. I like knowing that change is possible, that I too could change my skin, my weight, my clothes, my kitchen, my […]
I’d like to put out an APB for my lawn. It’s sometimes difficult to spot amid hardened patches of nutrient-depleted soil. Don’t believe me? Look: And because we have winters that last 14 months a year, the salt on our vehicles falls onto our driveway. When we shovel our driveway, the salt goes onto our […]
When the Liberal government announced that they were going to legalize weed, I thought that meant growing thistles and dandelions was going to be the “in thing.” You know, kind of how Prime Minister Trudeau has made doing yoga poses on board tables cool. Except the only yoga pose I’ve ever perfected is corpse pose. […]
It’s four days until I’m done teaching for the year. The winter break will be here soon, possibly before I break, but not before I post more exhausted-teacher-memes to Facebook. Then I feel it. Like the head of a Xenomorph trying to escape my chin. A too-many-chocolates and stress zit. I touch my pimple, which is […]
On July 15, 2000, my husband and I were married in rural Manitoba. That was fifteen years ago today. This is how our anniversary played out this morning. * I adjust my duvet cover and look at Chris, who’s half a kilometre away in our king-size bed. “Hey, Happy Anniversary,” I say. Chris adjusts his […]
There are many ways to survive The Calgary Stampede as an intact family. Here are five. 1. Leave town. Without your children. I’m on Breakfast TV this morning. Then I’m heading east for a girls’ trip with my mom, aunt, sister, and cousin in Saskatchewan. Yeehaw! 2. If you can’t leave town, hire a babysitter to […]
It’s nearly Mother’s Day. Usually I celebrate Mother’s Day by calling my mom and apologizing for not sending her a card. Being awesome, my mom says she doesn’t want a card. Look how amazing she was (and still is…even though this picture was taken a few years ago). But this Mother’s Day, I’m giving my mom the […]