I’ve blogged before about people googling weird terms. I’ve blogged before about my twins’ wild antics. I’ve blogged before about my cleaning problems. Combine all three of these and you get cleaning queries I’ve googled since having twins.
Cleaning Query 1: How to remove permanent marker from a wooden table
Problem: Last year, one of my twins coloured with permanent marker that ran through to the table
Complication: This was not any table; it was the table we got made with wedding money my parents gave us. It’s maple, and it’s supposed to be symbolic of good family times (as opposed to lax parenting)
Solution: Toothpaste. It worked and didn’t remove the table’s finish. Good thing, too, or we may not have remained a family of four
Cleaning Query 2: How to remove diaper cream from carpet
Problem: When our twins were two years old, they took the diaper cream that I left on their dresser and smeared it everywhere: on the carpet, on their blankets, and on themselves
Complication: The cream is water insoluble
Solution: Give the kids the world’s longest bath and rub the cream into the carpet’s fibers
Cleaning Query 3: How to remove permanent marker from face
Problem: My son, age 2, decided his face was a canvas. His medium was marker, the permanent kind
Complication: His focal point was his eye
Solution: Eye make-up remover…and time
Cleaning Query 4: How to remove foundation from carpet
Problem: I wear foundation twice a year: on my work’s photo day and at the Christmas party. My twins found it in my makeup bag, and squeezed the entire tube onto the carpet
Complication: The Christmas party was that night
Solution: Rub it into the carpet’s fibers (yup, I learned from the diaper cream experience). Then have an extra drink at the party.
Cleaning Query 5: How to repair walls with chipped paint
Problem: While I napped, the kids pulled their nightlight out of the socket and used the electrical prongs to chip away the paint
Complication: Fixing this involves tools, which doubles the chances I’ll injure myself
Solution: Ignore it for a year or two and the wall starts to look normal
Your turn: what weird things have you had to google?