I’ve blogged before about people googling weird terms. I’ve blogged before about my twins’ wild antics. I’ve blogged before about my cleaning problems. Combine all three of these and you get cleaning queries I’ve googled since having twins.
Cleaning Query 1: How to remove permanent marker from a wooden table
Problem: Last year, one of my twins coloured with permanent marker that ran through to the table
Complication: This was not any table; it was the table we got made with wedding money my parents gave us. It’s maple, and it’s supposed to be symbolic of good family times (as opposed to lax parenting)
Solution: Toothpaste. It worked and didn’t remove the table’s finish. Good thing, too, or we may not have remained a family of four
Cleaning Query 2: How to remove diaper cream from carpet
Problem: When our twins were two years old, they took the diaper cream that I left on their dresser and smeared it everywhere: on the carpet, on their blankets, and on themselves
Complication: The cream is water insoluble
Solution: Give the kids the world’s longest bath and rub the cream into the carpet’s fibers
Cleaning Query 3: How to remove permanent marker from face
Problem: My son, age 2, decided his face was a canvas. His medium was marker, the permanent kind
Complication: His focal point was his eye
Solution: Eye make-up remover…and time
Cleaning Query 4: How to remove foundation from carpet
Problem: I wear foundation twice a year: on my work’s photo day and at the Christmas party. My twins found it in my makeup bag, and squeezed the entire tube onto the carpet
Complication: The Christmas party was that night
Solution: Rub it into the carpet’s fibers (yup, I learned from the diaper cream experience). Then have an extra drink at the party.
Cleaning Query 5: How to repair walls with chipped paint
Problem: While I napped, the kids pulled their nightlight out of the socket and used the electrical prongs to chip away the paint
Complication: Fixing this involves tools, which doubles the chances I’ll injure myself
Solution: Ignore it for a year or two and the wall starts to look normal
Your turn: what weird things have you had to google?
Googled: Why does my baby have pubic hair.
Luckily, it fell out. Really freaked me out.
Completely funny (of course not at the time for you!). I hear ya, though:My daughter was born with hair fuzz down to her eyebrows. It fell out, thankfully.
Well, I used to Google symptoms, but as that all leads to finding out your child is going to have a horrible chronic condition and/or can die, I’ve quit that.
I have to google melatin, melatonin? something like that. a natural sleep remedy for my kids. they are staying up all hours lately, and frankly they are little monsters the next day. Mama’s not happy!
May the sleep gods be with you (or the Melatonin Monster). Nothing like fear to…convince your kids to stay up even later, I suspect.
I will give you one of my strangest which was: how long can a baby go without pooping?
Apparently if BF quite a long time and 7 or 8 days should not be cause for concern. I ended up googling this when I realized my then six month old had not pooped for five days. Eventually she did on day 7. A few weeks later she went 10 days. A few weeks after that she actually went 16 days (lots of repeat googling and calls to the Doctor that time). I won’t even begin to describe the clean up job required on that occasion when it eventually happened, which was when we were out in the car so the car seat, child and everything in between the car and bathroom back home were impacted!
Who knew! Murphy’s law about the outing, though. When my twins were newborns, they specialized in pooing (a) when their daddy was lifting up their bottom to remove a soggy diaper, spraying the poo on his shirt, and (b) 30 seconds after you put the new diaper on.
How to get red lipstick smeared into carpet. Unfortunately, only thought to Google after unsuccessfuly a) just scrubbling madly with a wet cloth; b) scrubbing madly with laundry soap; c) cursing loudly. Solution: some sort of toxic paint-remover-turpentine-type substance found in garage. Pink stain still remains in carpet in middle of living room. Daily, I pretend I don’t see it.
Don’t you love googling things after the fact only to find out that you did precisely the wrong thing. Story of my life. Retrospective regret. (Now that’s something from the Department of Redundancy Department)!
I had to google “how to keep your kids quiet”. My 7 year old WILL NOT SHUT UP! (excuse the yelling and venting). I haven’t sound an answer that works yet :/
He talks in class, before school, after school, at meals, and even in his sleep…wtf?! Ok I’m done. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Ear plugs? The first-one-to-say-something loses game? Makes you wonder why we all rush the stage where they can’t talk…
How to unclog a toilet in college…lol
Funny.I think my college roommate found a bat in our toilet one time when I wasn’t there. To bad Google didn’t exist way back then!
I had to google how to stop cats from peeing on… well… EVERYTHING. nothing google suggested worked. cats are perfectly healthy via vet and now spend MUCH more time outdoors. i may have to blog that out so other cat lovers/pee haters can find it on google now 😉