• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Leanne Shirtliffe

Poetry | Humour | Picture Books

  • Poetry
  • Humour
    • Don’t Lick The Minivan
    • Mommyfesto
    • Ironic Mom Blog Archive
      • Search
      • Start Here
      • Finding Humor Everywhere
      • Hilarious Family Moments
      • Un-Ironic Moments
      • Wild Gen X Tales
      • Full Archives
  • Picture Books
    • Sloth to the Rescue
    • I Love Sharks, Too!
    • Saving Thunder the Great
    • No More Beige Food
    • The Change Your Name Store
    • Guides/Activities
  • About
  • Contact
    • General Inquiries

More Epic Fail Parenting: Advent Calendars

I like to buy my kids advent calendars. I think it’s fun to count down to the gift frenzy known as Christmas Day, that glorious morning where a Parental Time Zone exists: thanks to our children, we’re up three hours earlier than any other person on holidays.

I grew up with an advent calendar. We used the same one year-after-year. We just shut the windows, pretended they were sealed, and opened them. Because it was used for a decade, it suffered the fate of many a lift-the-flap book: pieces were torn off, taped on, missing, and sometimes chewed.

Maybe my childhood prepared me for my lack of success with advent calendars. Maybe not, but the truth is that there’s usually some crisis involving our countdown.

2007: The first year I decided to buy an advent calendar, I made the mistake of purchasing one. When your twins are three years old, it’s difficult to explain why Thing 2 doesn’t get a chocolate the first day. After the third day of fighting, I hid the calendar. Then when the kids were asleep that night, I ate every chocolate and threw out the calendar. May I just say that an entire advent calendar contains fewer than 200 calories.

2008: I knew I wasn’t going to make that mistake again, so when Vivian and William were four, I bought two. It was a warm end-of-November day, and I put them on the dash of our loser cruiser as I sped around doing other errands, like my monthly habit of paying library fines (which I call “donations”).  When I came home, I brought in both calendars and told the kids to wait until the first day of advent. When that day came, they each opened a window to find chocolate blobs, not the Shrek characters that the outside promised.

2009: Last year, I forgot to buy advent calendars in November. So, I picked up two advent calendars a few days into December. I was thrilled they were 50% off, though the savings amounted to a little under a buck. That first night, my kids attempted to “catch up” and gorged themselves on a week’s worth of chocolate.  Nothing like encouraging binge behavior at age five.

2010: Given the success of last year, I decided to wait until two weeks into December to buy advent calendars. Maybe this year I’d get 75% off. After visiting five stores, including a dollar store, I filed this parenting mistake in the category of  epic fail. Apparently, after the first week of December, they take advent calendars off the shelves.

Window 1 from my homemade advent calendar - vaguely resembling a guillotine

As a result, due to my incompetence, Vivian and William have no advent calendars this year. But with all my threats to call Santa (he’s on speed dial), they’re more than aware that Christmas is around the corner.

From our chaotic household to yours: happy counting down…

*

Any memories about preparing for major holidays?

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments, Lackluster Parenting, The Anti-Craft Tagged With: advent calendars, Christmas Day, epic fail, Parental Time Zone, parenting, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hi, I'm Natalie. says

    December 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    You buy advent calendars?! (We have a felt one – it’s fantastic because you can fill it with whatever you like – chocolates, toys, whatever… lots of fun. =)

    And WHY is it snowing on everyone’s blog?? *deep sigh* =)

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 13, 2010 at 8:48 pm

      Felt? Who knew? Seems deliciously retro.

      It’s my personal mission to make it snow on every WP.com blog this year. Go to Dashboard>Appearance>Extras (I think). Click the button. It’ll snow till early Jan…

      Reply
  2. chantizzle says

    December 13, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Make your own advent calendar! Glue together small decorated paperboxes and fill with treats of any kind!

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 13, 2010 at 8:49 pm

      Great idea. Except it involves glue. Not very crafty here… 😉

      Reply
  3. kloppenmum says

    December 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    Here’s a fail safe way to organise advent calendars…get one of the grandmothers to do it.

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm

      Great plan…of course the part of the post I didn’t include was that my mom gave me $20 yesterday to go out and buy advent calendars (she was visiting). I scoured 5 stores. Then she wouldn’t take the money back. Not a bad deal, I suppose…

      Reply
  4. Paige Morgan says

    December 13, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I am so glad I saw your instructions to Natalie on how to make it snow – hooray!

    Between your lack of advent calendars and my lack of Santa Pictures we are both in the running for Christmas Mom’s of the Year!

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 13, 2010 at 9:31 pm

      If we win the worst Christmas moms-of-the-year, do we get to go out for a bottle of wine?

      Reply
      • Paige Morgan says

        December 14, 2010 at 2:42 pm

        Yep, on Christmas morning. We’ll have already done enough dammage to the holiday! 😉

        Reply
    • Hi, I'm Natalie. says

      December 15, 2010 at 8:29 pm

      Nooooo!

      Reply
  5. eduClaytion says

    December 13, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    Hmm, the most I can say about preparing for the holidays would be that in our family it seemed like just getting a tree up in time was an accomplishment. We drag it out each year due to some sense of obligation I think. That sounds grinchy but we were really happy just not terribly worried about decking the halls!

    Reply
  6. doublefun says

    December 13, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    My epic fail was allowing the twins to watch the Christmas Family Guy episode this season. And no, they’re not 14.

    Reply
  7. Lori Dyan says

    December 14, 2010 at 5:27 am

    From one craft fail queen to another, may I salute you….

    ps I bought a wooden advent at Costco – my kids don’t even get candy…just the joy if opening a door and unwrapping a skate or sleigh or similar ornament…if they find out about the chocolate option, I’m dead.

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 15, 2010 at 12:18 pm

      Great idea…except Costco sucks my energy almost as much as a dollar store!

      Reply
  8. Chase McFadden says

    December 14, 2010 at 7:03 am

    The personal sacrifice you made by eating all of the chocolates in 2007 to avoid conflict between the twins is admirable. That’s parenting, baby.

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm

      After a friend who lives locally read my post, she found advent calendars for 50 cents. Last night, my kids ate 14 in a row. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to make a “personal sacrifice”!

      Reply
  9. marinasleeps says

    December 14, 2010 at 11:59 am

    That was pretty funny. I don’t think the whole waiting a new day for a candy would work with my kids. They would devour the whole thing in one night. Sneaky little buggers.

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 15, 2010 at 12:21 pm

      Maybe we can teach “delaying gratification” by hoarding our kids’ chocolates. Likely not!

      Reply
  10. harrietglynn says

    December 14, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    So funny! I totally remember getting a tiny chocolate each day but I’m guessing I shared with my brother. I’ve heard of people going to ridiculous lenghts over advent calendars. The moral of the story is: KIDS DON’T CARE SO LONG AS THEY GET CHOCOLATE!

    Reply
    • Ironic Mom says

      December 15, 2010 at 12:22 pm

      That is a moral not only for kids, but for adults too!

      Reply
  11. Sabreena says

    December 22, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I bought our first calendar this year and let me tell you Walgreens was not the place to go. The calendar they sold is missing a day and as luck and my poor timing would have it they only had one calendar left (I have a 3 and 4 year old). In order to keep it fair and avoid the tantrum of one not getting to open a door and get the candy we open doors every two days (the month has been moving slowly for my boys). Without that missing door though, I am now on more of a countdown to the tantrum than I am to Christmas. Good times.

    Reply
  12. pickyforwords says

    December 12, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    Maybe you can try this next year. http://pickyforwords.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/an-advent-calendar-for-the-crafty-at-heart/
    You can put anything you want in the days and you don’t have to go buy anything each year. Plus, you can’t forget!

    Reply
  13. laughingstarproductions says

    December 13, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    ooooooooh man thats me too! dang … what’s this month on anyway super turbo? Tell the kids that the ‘Grinch’ took it in for repairs n’ ate all the candy this year ~l`

    Reply
  14. Lauren Kinghorn says

    December 19, 2016 at 2:41 am

    Oh wow… I’m so glad I’m not alone! We got Benjamin his first advent calendar this December, a delicious Lindt chocolate one. He did us proud for the first 17 days… but on day 18 his fervour got the better of him and he ate day 19’s chocolate too. Today is day 19, and just when I was marvelling at how good he was to forego a chocolate this morning… things went quiet during a playdate… you know that kind of quiet when you know you need to go check… hmm… I discovered the last week of chocs just went down the hatch!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

© 2005–2022 · Leanne Shirtliffe / Ironic Mom ·