If you have children, you’ve lived a horror story or two. You know that bad things happen at night and that fear (of disease, of cheese curd vomit on your shoulder) drives anxiety. No one exemplifies the horror genre more than Stephen King. Below are 10 of his titles applied to parenting.
- It: What you refer to your child the first three weeks when you can’t remember his name.
- The Green Mile: What your baby’s poo looks like when it shoots up her back.
- The Tommyknockers: The nickname your husband gave to your breasts when they were engorged from nursing.
- The Dead Zone: The hours between 2 and 4 a.m., when sleep-deprived moms can’t remember how many kids they have.
- Insomnia: The sequel to The Dead Zone.
- The Stand: What happens when parents finally follow through with their threats.
- Pet Sematary: Another name for the toilet, if you’ve given in to your child’s demand for goldfish.
- Firestarter: What results when you leave two children alone.
- Needful Things: Sleep, money, quiet time, wine.
- Misery: See #1-9 above.
What other horror films or books can be adapted for parenting?