When the word ironic appears in the title of your blog, it’s perfectly acceptable to post Whiteboard Wednesday on a Thursday.
Today’s guest blogger is Candace. When Candace’s eldest left for university, Candace went looking for a instruction guide for her daughter’s departure from the nest. And while her first son took up residence on a ski hill, the second son journeyed to Morocco, and her youngest daughter flew off to Rome, she was madly writing her way through the flight manual she herself had hoped to discover. Readers have been entertained, scared, and comforted by her blog– www.textmelovemom.wordpress.com and soon will be treated to the complete stories of Text Me, Love Mom – Navigating (Not Stalking) First Flights From The Nest.
Summer After Summer After Summer of Love
I was young when I had the first of my four kids – twenty-five which I think they call ‘the new eighteen’, but in 1985 no one was putting my rash behavior down to the fact that my frontal lobe wasn’t fully developed, the way I warn my children now that they may know not what they do without that part of the brain that we’ve learned is responsible for; organizational skills, judging risky behavior and – surprise- long term planning.
“Just one more,” I said, over and over again with little planning involved, until I was surrounded by babies and toddlers and a five year-old doula (before I knew what a doula was.)
While mini-SUV’s stuffed with our peers’ offspring were trucking between Saturday soccer games and vogue over-the-top children’s birthday parties – my ‘baby daddy’ and I had already survived hip hop concerts in our basement and read the riot act at a eighteenth birthday party for young-adults-gone-wild. I was insisting that they had to take pure math at the same time I was trying to convince them that all the kids that said they’d had sex really hadn’t.
So of course, I could survey my four kids for a litany of ridiculous things they’ve driven me to say.
I know my eldest daughter would choose a quote from the day after a particular rowdy party that took place during the ‘summer of love” when my vigilant eye was observing her friends ‘hooking up’ at an alarming speed. I decided I had to warn said daughter about rash desire and uncontrolled passion, and how she should engage in planning and exercise control when being tempted by amorous feelings.
“Okay,” my clever and cheeky daughter said, “but you and dad had us four kids in five and a half years. Are you saying, Mom, that we were all planned?”
And then I said it, my infamous quote:
Your turn:
How “planned” were you? Your children?
We decided after the honeymoon to just leave it in God’s hands thinking it’d take a bit for us to conceive, but that funny sonofabitch had my wife knocked up the next month. Number two was planned and then number three came while we were trying to decide whether we wanted three kids or just the two. Turns out we just wanted the two…
After four kids I spent years trying to decide if I wanted five – always in the shower – telling that was the only place I had the time, and peace and quiet to consider it.
The only children that are planned are the children that come with instruction manuals…
No, no – mine were planned – just really, really quickly.
I was an oops baby. And lucky for me, my parents are Catholic, so that meant they had to keep me. I remain the eternal party crasher of all family reunions and birthday parties. 😀
The best kind of oops baby – I’d say!
We planned our first for about two years before we got pregnant. We had Baby E in August 2012 and thought we’d want another one right away. Two months later we invested in every form of birth control safe for nursing moms.
Love those oops babies. Oops, Oops, Oops, and oops again.
As the youngest of four, my mom swears I was the “most planned of all”. I know it’s true – she had me as a playmate for my older sister.
Yeah, after one daughter and two son’s, I had my forth as a sister for the sister. Made sense.
I had “oh my god”, “holy shit” and “damn that was fast.” Obviously first 2 not planned (22 and 24- the first was conceived 3 months before the wedding) – the third we decided to go for and got pregnant the first month. And he’s the reason I’m now blogging 😉
Don’t tell – but mine were more like, “Honey, it’s fine. It’s just not the right time of month for me to get pregnant.” I was a slow learner – and love the results!
We planned for adopting our first child. We did all the paperwork and then we had to wait to be chosen by a birth mother. Our adoption service told us not to paint or prepare for the baby until we were chosen as we might have a long wait to look at those things. We waited about 8 months then we got a phone call. We met a birth mother. A week later we got another call tht she wanted to ask us some more questions and a few days later we were parents, We had 10 days to prep in the end.
Wow – I bet those we the most exciting ten days. My third was our “Christmas tree baby”. We walked in the door and presented toddler number one and even more toddler-ish number two (we had them close) with a new brother and a Christmas tree on Dec. 24th.
Our first was not planned as hubby and I were still dating and lived at lest 18 hours from each other. Thought our second was planned to a point, we talked about having another after he was done with collage. It didn’t work out that way and we where a family of 4 for hubby collage graduation.
Planning- shmanning, I say. I mean really. My hubby was in law school. I think every time he came up from the basement where he studied I had another baby in the highchair. It worked out.
Great post! So fun!
Yeah, those were the days. But if four babies kept me on my toes – four young adults keep life hopping.
What a fun article! I really enjoyed it a lot. It was a really amusing article and the quote “Honey, you were all planned. You were just planned really, really quickly.” really made my day! Me and my hubby laughed a lot!
My youngest daughter thought I should write about the hand gestures I made as I said to her at age 15, “If I find out you ever did coke, I would …” (hand’s make evil neck squishing motion) but there were no words for the white box with that one…
After over a year of filling out adoption papers, attending weeks of adoptive parenting classes, undergoing criminal records checks, submitting our life stories for governmental scrutiny and then finally the nerve wracking ‘home visit’, we were at last approved. Deemed acceptable to take over the care of a sweet innocent who had absolutely no idea of what she was in for! With two children of our own already at the dinner table with us each night, we wondered how our new addition would fit in. With new baby in her high chair we looked at each other and both said, ” now we know – this is who’s been missing”.
I’m adopted – not planned by my teenaged, brave and awesome birth mother, but certainly longed for and loved by my parents.
Son #1 was not planned, but due to some miscalculation on my part during a pivotal, passionate evening, he was conceived because I cannot count.
Son #2’s conception went like this, once I’d discovered ovulation calendars on the internet: “If we want another Thanksgiving baby, we need to do it on Wednesday and Thursday and maybe Friday, just to be sure.”
My husband: Three nights in a row?!?! Woohoo!!
9 months later, Luke was born.
I have no idea actually if I was planned, going to ask them..
Brilliant resposnse, Candace!
My baby was born on Christmas Day, talk about a miscalculation on our part. We had tried for 5 months with no luck, and then stopped trying in March (obviously trying to avoid our baby having their birthday too close to Christmas). Of course the moment we stopped trying, I got pregnant! I think that is the law of nature or something. Haha, I wouldn’t have it any other way though, although I feel bad she will have to share her birthday with such a major holiday!
Now I want to wait another year before trying again, but SURPRISE SURPRISE I am unable to take birth control pill’s because it sadly decreased my milk supply. Therefore I suppose we will have to be extra careful!
I love that though… just planned really really quickly! 😛 My husband would get a kick out of this.
Lol maybe none of us would ever plan children if we were in our right minds. Notice you never become pregnant during uninhibited situations like doing the dishes or cutting grass? Sex is a trick-you lose all rational thinking in the heat of the moment lol. I tend to think of my son as a surprise. Something you always wanted but never knew until you got it 🙂
I think if we actually planned our children, the earth would be empty lol. There’s a reason conception does not occur during moments of inhibition. You don’t get pregnant doing dishes or mowing the lawn. The trick of sex is that your totally uninhibited and all logic goes out the window. And 9 months later, there’s your proof that yes pull and pray didn’t work lol. I refer to my son as a surprise. Something I knew I always wanted but didn’t know until I got it.