I could say that I’m trying to get in shape, but such a statement implies I have no shape at all, like I belong to Amoebas R’ Us.
I do have a shape, of course; it’s just expanding, like the universe.
Every time that I go to my doctor, she shows me a graph of my weight. Its trajectory is similar to the Banff Gondola, going up and up, edging closer to oxygen-deprived altitudes. This year I’m going to do something about that graph, or jump.
Like many North Americans who like to put the word FAIL in Resolution, I started my weight loss plan in early January. After week one of “shrinking my a$$ with sass” (during which I drank a kazillion gallons of water and trekked to Starbucks only once) my weight changed a dramatic 0.8 lbs. Yes, I GAINED nearly one pound. Week one is supposed to be the easy week, but my freaking gondola climbed higher, approaching the tree line and the international space station.
I’m making my fitness campaign public because—really—why fail alone when you can document it for hundreds of people?
Most Fridays (I know, my commitment level is awe-inspiring), I will post snarky/sassy/funny updates about my Fitness Die-ary, about Shrinking my A$$ with Sass.
By the end of next week, I plan to sweat at least once, not including shovelling the snow or walking up a flight of stairs. I aim high, like my weight.
YOUR TURN:
Do you have any health goals?
What suggestions (serious or sassy) do you have for an exercise routine I can attempt this coming week?
I didn’t make resolutions this year, but i have in the past. Two years ago my goal was to lose 20 pounds and last year it was to keep it off. I lost the 20 pounds, but gained back 10 over last year. 🙁
So this year, my goal is to lose that 10 by going back to what worked. Yeah, I have to watch every morsel that goes into my over-50 year old mouth and cut down on the full boxes of macaroni and cheese and entire pizza’s for dinner.
What worked to lose the 20#? I changed to non-fat milk and no whip on my Starbucks (kept it a vente and no sugar free — yuck). I attempted to cut down on my portions. And, I found two friends that are crazy enough to get up with me at 6 AM (shudder) and walk 2 + miles (we started at like 3/4 of a mile) 4 out of 7 mornings a week — before our days start and the rat race takes over.
Find a friend or two that can walk with you. You get social time — with ADULTS, grab a coffee or tea, and walk. Walk the mall, walk around a neighborhood, or walk the track at your local school.
Good luck!
I like the idea of walking in the morning with friends and tea. It’s the darkness of winter that gets me! Thanks for the great comment. Keep me posted!
Does that mean you’ll be attending the adult Bollywood workshop next Sat afternoon? 🙂 I hate to sweat alone……
Look what you’ve done: I’ve signed up and one friend has too. I’m working on more!
First, I have to say that your whit keeps getting sharper and sharper. You go girl! As far as fitness…I live in Southern California where we haven’t seen rain in 8 weeks…but…I walk with a group of women. Three times a week, we drag our asses out of bed and meet at 6:30 and walk briskly for 4.5 miles. It takes us an hour and 15 minutes. We live in the foothills so that 4.5 miles really is a killer. If I didn’t have the support of the other women, I’d NEVER exercise. But they’re counting on me so I feel obligated to go. I can’t blow them off. And I think that’s the key–you need to find an exercise buddy.
4.5 miles! That’s like 8 million kilometers! Wow. Inspiring.
Also, can I borrow your friends?
Health goals?
Besides not dying anytime soon, you mean?
But seriously, my gut has taken on an existence of its own now that I have approached my mid-forties with gusto – and fear – but I’m trying to combat its relentless approach while still consuming more fast food than a bellman should.
Yes, I realize the fast food is the problem, but its a peer pressure thing; all the guys look forward to our fast food lunches and I can’t help but follow along. I’ll have rethink this lifestyle while I’m scarfing down a Baconator…
Bellman pressure. Glad I don’t have that! I’m thankful I don’t love fast food. Now…salt and vinegar chips, on the other hand…
As I was cleaning out closets on New Year’s Day in my sweatpants, my 5 year old daughter remarked “Mom your bottom is getting bigger.” I stopped dead in my tracks. Did my child just remark on my weight (gain) from this past year? I really had to bite my tongue not to quip back, “Honey you’re shaped just like me and I’m going to remind you of this conversation in 30 years.” My goal is to work on small segments of strength training indoors and combine that with stepping up my pace during outdoor time with my kids. Plus I switched a few meals or snacks during the weeks with a protein shake. It’s not drastic, but it keeps me from reaching for the high carb snacks or other alternatives. Thus far I’ve lost two pounds…I hope it was from my Sassy A$$!!
Darn sassy kids. I always thought a protein shake was when you give a chicken caesar salad a good toss.
Good luck!
Snicker…I made the same resolution with a friend last year in January. We were semi faithful at going to the gym about 3 times a week for a good work out. I have lost inches but NO WEIGHT. Which makes me angry with myself until I give my Sa$$ a mental kick. It’s not rocket science…what goes in must be worked off. And in spite of my lack of loss progress, I feel healthier, stronger, and I can run a mile for the first time in my life. Perhaps if I could actually stay away from carbs and wine, but then my children drive me to that…maybe in my next decade, haha! Right now its just maintenance. Good luck!
That’s awesome. I’d take inches. It’s my clothes that make me feel like crap (and I’m tired of buying new ones!) Good luck with your maintenance and thanks for your encouragement. 🙂
I force myself to get up and hit the gym before class with my lovely friend Thursday mornings… I have to convince myself to crawl out of my house EARLY… in the COLD… uuuhhhgg..! BUT Once I got to the gym and realized they have TELEVISION ON MY OLYPTICAL! Wait… so I can watch, an entire television show, WITHOUT a toddler asking me for snacks or playdoh or the time every 2.5 seconds? And all I have to do is exercise? I use the ‘sacred alone time’ factor as a major motivator for getting my butt to the gym. Having a buddy is also crucial! Somebody to get on your case when you don’t show up! 😛
Goodluck! 🙂
You asked for recommendations to help you successfully exercise and lost weight. My recommendation is that you watch a CBC documentary that aired just after the new year called _Slaves to Habit_. It is about how to change behaviour – (see http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/episodes/slaves-to-habit), and it recommends making small changes slowly, instead of large ones all at once. My personal experience: I decided after seeing this documentary not to diet but to change something about my diet instead. I looked up what the Canadian Government recommends I eat daily, and I’m following their recommendations as much as I can, and probably will for the rest of my life. They don’t have rules posted, just general guidelines for what servings to eat, how many, and healthy ways to prepare them. So if I go outside the guidelines, it’s really not a big deal and I don’t feel like I’m a failure. I’ve accidentally lost 3 pounds since the beginning of January. I’m not saying this is the course of action you should take, just that the documentary might make you think or feel differently about how to change your habits, which might in turn aid in your success. It definitely changed my view. BTW, I’m coming to see you speak this morning at CPL and I’m looking forward to it. All the best!
My fitness resolution for the year (although it seems to be changing weekly), was to try to do 33 of some exercise each day. I am a fitness professional, so it’s my job to stay “IN SHAPE”, but after having my second baby almost 9 months ago, I feel the struggle more than ever. Who knew that chasing after your kids full time would leave you with no time for yourself?