I am thankful Christmas comes only once a year; so, I imagine, are the drivers of recycling trucks.
And as my holiday bonus, no one puked this year, and I am eternally grateful I didn’t have to sleep with The Vomitator and play catch-the-acid-chunks like I did last year in an RV in Arizona.
Instead of telling you all the warm fuzzies, which include staying in pajamas all day and admiring my kids’ Lego creations, I’m going to tell you the lowlights. Because I’m that kind of person.
Lowlight 1: The Wake-Up
A couple of years ago, we started the Santa-Leaves-the-Stockings-on-the-Bed Tradition. We stole this idea from my sister-in-law, and it has brought us a few extra minutes of sleep. This year, our first Christmas ever in our own home, we told William and Vivian they could open the stockings in their room. We neglected to tell them not to wake us up at 5:45 a.m. to announce their intentions by trampolining on our bed.
Lowlight 2: His Gift
Even though my husband is hard to buy for, I found two books that he loves. Still, I managed to fail by purchasing a DVD collection that he bought last year when we shopped together. In addition to losing this memory, I can’t find the receipt either, no doubt filed under dementia.
Lowlight 3: My Gift
It’s politically incorrect to complain about your own gift, but what-the-heck. I got some lovely things (including some Lululemon wear), but when I pulled out a long-sleeved purple shirt, my smile said give me an explanation. My husband looked at me sheepishly and said, “I thought it was pajamas.” Suffice it to say that it wasn’t lingerie. We live in Canada, people. Brrr.
Lowlight 4: Batteries
We saved a lot of money by purchasing used gifts for our kids, but we remortgaged our house to buy batteries.
Lowlight 5: The Broken Toy
In what may be a new record, William broke his remote control Super Mario car that some poor child worker likely assembled somewhere. Yes, Super Mario is decapitated; we have a bit of a history of guillotining dolls.
And yes, I’m fully aware that if these are my lowlights, I’m incredibly lucky. May all your batteries and toys work, and may it not take you half your holidays to assemble your children’s gifts.