Tip 1: Don’t.
So what’s wrong with vacationing in your house? There’s nothing wrong with it, besides the fact that your kids want to kill each other because they’re routine-bound and besides the fact you’ve started to wax poetic about the lives of your childless friends. Take it from someone who took her twins on two round-trip, trans-Pacific flights before they were thirteen months old: don’t.
(cc) KitAy, Used under a Creative Commons ShareAlike License
Tip 2: If you must travel, wait until your kids can complete the New York Times Crossword in ink.
And, unless your kid is Ben Pall – a 14-year-old who created a crossword that was published in the Times last month, then you’re safe for a few years. By the way, Pall could recite the alphabet at the age of two…backwards. Freak.
(cc) Rick Audet, Used under a Creative Commons ShareAlike License
Tip 3: There’s only one button that matters: repeat play.
It doesn’t matter if your kid can recite all the words to Finding Nemo. After all, look at Ben Pall.
Tip 4: If you have a choice, travel before Christmas.
Your arsenal of discipline-techniques increases greatly if you can use Santa as a threat. Put him on speed dial. If you have to travel outside of December, throw out nutritional expectations and food pyramids. Candy makes a great second-level threat.
Tip 5: Seriously, don’t do it.