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Rhyming, Cribbage, and a Disappearing Child

 

Two nights ago, while my Mom and I played cribbage and drank wine, Vivian was demonstrating the rhymes her teacher uses to get the class’s attention. William was somewhere.

Vivian stood with her hands on top of her head and taught us the rhymes. Nothing says Saturday night fun like three-generation Simon Says.

Rhyme 1:

Vivian as the teacher: Hands on top.

Vivian, mimicking the class’s response: That means stop.

Rhyme 2:

Vivian as the teacher: Hands on your knees.

Vivian as the class: Listen, please.

“Hey,” I say, breaking Vivian’s control of her imaginary class. “I should try this with my Junior High students.”

“Good luck with that,” my husband says. “I’ve got a rhyme, though,” he adds.

Rhyme 3:

My husband: Hands on your butt.

My husband: Now, shut, shut…up.

I laugh. “That one might work with eighth and ninth graders,” I say.

“Has anyone seen William lately?” I ask.

My question is met with silence and shrugs.

Vivian gets in the inventive mood. “How about this rhyme?” she says.

Rhyme 4:

Vivian: Hands on your feet.

Vivian: Now take your seat.

“Good rhyme,” my mom says.

“Now there’s a visual,” I say. “Why don’t you demonstrate that, Viv?”

Vivian waddles across our kitchen, hands on her feet, butt in the air.

I laugh and get up to search for my other child.

Found him. Bottom shelf.

~~~

What did you do this past weekend?
Feel free to share in rhyme.
Or not.

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: funny mom, humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson says

    September 24, 2012 at 6:07 am

    Hands on your cooter.
    I set up my new computer. 😉

    Awesome, Shirtsleeves!

    Reply
  2. aysjaysandayches says

    September 24, 2012 at 6:49 am

    Hands on your ears
    No more tears 😉

    Great hiding spot!

    Reply
  3. Gloria Richard Author says

    September 24, 2012 at 7:02 am

    I think William has watched The Christmas Story once too often, Leanne. “Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie!”

    Our house seemed to be a revolving door of visitors so…

    Tap, TAP, TAP
    ACK! No nap!

    BTW, I think you should cut William a break and take out that middle shelf.

    Reply
  4. Elena Aitken says

    September 24, 2012 at 7:43 am

    1, 2, 3….Eyes on me.

    My weekend involved eight women, more wine than I care to remember and tons of laughs. And maybe some antics…

    Reply
  5. mylifeisthebestlife says

    September 24, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I made soup. I don’t WANT to rhyme that, thank you very much.

    Reply
  6. jennnadams says

    September 24, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Nice hiding spot!

    Reply
  7. JR Reed says

    September 24, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know the rhymes I come up with. My latest was set to the Mickey Mouse club theme. Lyrics included the words “tramp and “slutty.” My mom would be so proud.

    Reply
  8. Liz McLennan says

    September 24, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Baha!! This post is so fun…and funny. Your kids crack me right up.

    Reply
  9. Larry Hehn says

    September 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Hands on your chin.
    I can’t think of anythin’…
    …that rhymes with “Culinary Festival” or “Stratford”.
    Still had a great weekend away with my wife, though!

    Reply
  10. phlyfitmama says

    September 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    ha! I love this! Thank you for making me laugh tonight – I needed it. Today was a bunch of crap. So much, that I’m thinking of a rap……(to be continued) 😉

    Reply
  11. cooper says

    September 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Hands in my lap.
    Gimmie a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

    what?

    Reply
  12. Marianne says

    September 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    How about:
    I’m a narcissist.
    Please listen to me.

    Reply
  13. Deb Loyd says

    September 25, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    This was too funny! It sounds like at my house. I have a 5 year old running around who has just started SK. As the first full year of school days, I thought he would never last. Instead, he comes home and loves to teach his little 3 year old brother which songs rather than rhymes. It is such fun to watch and listen.
    Glad you found your missing child. Kids can be found in the weirdest places.
    thanks for sharing your day.

    Reply
  14. The Hook says

    October 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Now that’s real talent!

    Reply

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