Here is a collection of texts sent to me recently by my funny husband (a.k.a Chris, once known as Conan the Librarian), just in case you’ve been wondering what 16.6 years of marriage looks like… On texting his mom: An update on what’s in our garage: And now this: Assuring me the kids are okay: Advice on how to get […]
Hilarious Family Moments
Funny and Easy Gifts for Mother's Day
It’s nearly Mother’s Day. Usually I celebrate Mother’s Day by calling my mom and apologizing for not sending her a card. Being awesome, my mom says she doesn’t want a card. Look how amazing she was (and still is…even though this picture was taken a few years ago). But this Mother’s Day, I’m giving my mom the […]
On Growing Another Head
Mount Vesuvius sits on my chin. You can bet model Denise Richards, who’s the same age as me, hasn’t had to deal with this scale of acne. Mind you, she’s had to deal with Charlie Sheen, which makes us even. I’d show you an uncensored photo of me and my Zit-pocalypse, but I have standards […]
The Creepiest School Photos You'll Ever See
The creepiest school photos you’ll ever see are not on the popular Awkward Family Photos site. They’re on my fridge. Last week, I came home from work and saw that the school photos of my twins, Vivian and William, had been transformed. . . into this: The fridge magnet/elementary mash-up almost makes you want […]
10 Bizarre Things To Experience on Vacation
It’s been just days since we were in balmy Arizona and busy Southern California. I could share beautiful, sunset pictures taken over the Colorado River from my lawn chair. Or I could share some of the oddities that we saw, heard, and witnessed. Here, then, are 10 Bizarre Things We Experienced on Vacation: A guy […]
The Problem With Fridge-Magnet Poetry
I like to think Shakespeare would’ve been a fan of fridge-magnet poetry, composing his iambs and inventing new words to suit him. But Shakespeare wasn’t married to my husband. On Sunday, I was playing on my phone with a fridge magnet poetry app. I came up with this dark, angst-ridden, middle-age-y poem. I then strutted […]
When You Google-Chat With Your Daughter
I was downstairs, sipping a glass of wine, and pfaffing on my laptop. My twins were upstairs in their bedrooms, supposedly reading their new novels. Then I saw in my Google window that my nine-year-old daughter Vivian (“V”) was online. This is how our conversation went down.: And to think, when I was her age, […]
A Parody of the Stages of Marriage
I try to keep my blog rated PG. Then I come home to this. Yes, it’s my husband’s version of “The Seven Stages of Marriage,” scrawled on top of the original article from The Calgary Herald. Tonight I’m going with Monday Night Football. Your turn: What are your 7 stages of marriage? Or, what are your […]
10 Reasons Why It's Great to Have Your Parents Come to Town
My parents arrived yesterday, which means two things: (1) my household has been counting down the “sleeps” for a week, and (2) there is beer in the fridge. I’m lucky to have a family I like. Given that, here is my perspective on 10 Reasons Why It’s Great to Have Your Parents Come to Town […]
When Kids Misbehave…in Church
There is something about church that seems to invite misbehaviour. Sometimes it’s me. Sometimes it’s not. Last Sunday, my nine-year-old treated me like I was the spawn of Satan. Or worse, his mom. I’m still not sure what I had done that morning to annoy him. It could have been (a) not letting him watch […]