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Leanne Shirtliffe

Humour with a side of writing

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The Problem With Fridge-Magnet Poetry

I like to think Shakespeare would’ve been a fan of fridge-magnet poetry, composing his iambs and inventing new words to suit him.

But Shakespeare wasn’t married to my husband.

On Sunday, I was playing on my phone with a fridge magnet poetry app.

I came up with this dark, angst-ridden, middle-age-y poem.

Bad Fridge Poetry

I then strutted my portable-fridge app over to my husband. He took one look at it and burst out laughing.

“A bottom trumpet?” he said. “Like a fart?”

“Umm, no,” I said. “I was going for a metaphor.”

“It’s a metaphor, all right,” he said, and started laughing again. “Hark,” he continued, “What light through yonder window breaks? It is Juliet…and her bottom trumpet.”

I started laughing and decided to join in. “I got one,” I said. “Is this the bottom trumpet that launched a thousand ships?”

And just like that, we added a new term to our family vernacular.

Any fridge-magnet poets out there? What song or poem do you think would be improved with the addition of the phrase “bottom trumpet”?

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Escaping Elegance says

    November 14, 2013 at 7:26 am

    For Whom the Bottom Trumpets?

    Reply
    • mollytopia says

      November 14, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      Hahaha love it! Escaping Elegance is the E.E. in Cummings. Ironic Mom you win for “bottom trumpet.” Love!

      Reply
      • Escaping Elegance says

        November 14, 2013 at 4:12 pm

        does that mean I have to stop using capitals and punctuation

        Reply
  2. thoughtsappear says

    November 14, 2013 at 7:46 am

    “My bottom trumpet brings all the boys to the yard….”

    Reply
  3. susielindau says

    November 14, 2013 at 8:03 am

    What does the bottom trumpet say?

    Reply
  4. teburley says

    November 14, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue.
    You make my bottom trumpet;
    Do I do the same for you?

    Reply
  5. Bill says

    November 14, 2013 at 9:25 am

    Whatever the bottom trumpet says – you’d better listen and heed well.

    Reply
  6. Bill says

    November 14, 2013 at 9:26 am

    A bottom trumpet, a bottom trumpet, my kingdom for a bottom trumpet!!

    Reply
  7. Winding road says

    November 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    “My bottom trumpets for thee”

    Reply
  8. JM Randolph says

    November 15, 2013 at 5:58 am

    I’m reading Gone With the Wind right now and sense a strong potential tie-in, but I’ve got 500 pages to go.

    Reply
  9. mistyslaws says

    November 15, 2013 at 10:34 am

    It’s good to know that boys never actually grow up. I made a recipe the othe rnight called Pizza balls, and that name led to all sorts of hilarity in my house. Now, just imagine what happened next, when I asked if anyone wanted to “cut the cheese?” 😉

    A tale told by an idiot, full of bottom trumpets, signifying nothing.

    Reply
  10. 3 Bros Ringmaster ~ Tracey Goss says

    November 15, 2013 at 11:35 am

    If music be the food of love, play on with your buttom trumpet.

    Reply
  11. Justin Knight says

    November 16, 2013 at 11:20 am

    You guys are silly over there…

    Reply

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