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The Birds, The Bees, and Body Parts

Heidi KennedyThis week’s guest blogger is Heidi Kennedy. Heidi is a young newlywed known as ‘Mommy’ to one highly imaginative two-year-old boy. Growing up in the time it takes to read a pregnancy test that did not come with instructions, she started her blog Mrs. K’12 to share the life experiences she is learning along the way.

I grew up with three sisters, ranging from three to nine years my junior. For the better part of my adolescence, I lived in a house with those girls and my mom, spending only weekends with my dad and little brother.

Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed during the 18th week of my pregnancy when the ultra-sound tech announced ‘It’s a boy!’

I knew from day one that I was in no way prepared to raise a member of the opposite sex. Now, two years in, I have learned that it’s not so bad.

When they say “Boys are easier,” I believe that is true. My son is loud and dirty sometimes, but he’s easily entertained.

A month ago, however, the little squirt caught me completely off guard, reminding me that he’s a boy who I’m ill-prepared to teach about the birds, the bees, and the ways of “life.”

I got up one morning to get into the shower and he walked into the bathroom right behind me. Since he needed a bath and there was no leaving his sight unless I wanted to hear him scream, I stripped him down and brought him into the shower.

Now, I fully understand that there is a very small window of time where this is appropriate and uncomplicated, so believe me when I say I was grateful that I could still save time and energy this way—or so I thought.

We weren’t in the shower 5 minutes when I turned around to scrub him and he looked at me with the most confused and curious eyes I have ever seen. He asked, “Mommy…where’s your pee-pee?”

I’m pretty sure I felt my stomach in my throat and my eyes just about fall out of my head before I composed myself enough to stutter answer:

WW GP 4-3 Heidi Kennedy Pee-Pee

Oh yeah. I have failed my child. All I can do now is hope for the best—that he instantly forgot this conversation and that it won’t haunt and torment him throughout his adolescence.

To avoid further damage, when the time comes, his daddy will be in charge of all major milestones of that nature.

Forever.

Let’s go back to when we were kids:
How did you learn about the birds and the bees?

Filed Under: Whiteboard Wednesday

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Team Oyeniyi says

    April 3, 2013 at 6:06 am

    I am a farner’s daughter. We just know! 🙂

    Reply
  2. wingsaseagles40 says

    April 3, 2013 at 6:10 am

    Funny! Kids notice that way sooner than we realize! My daughter had that realization during one of my son’s diaper changes right before she was 2. “Mommy, what is THAT?!” Lol.

    Reply
    • mrsk12 says

      April 3, 2013 at 10:30 am

      I know! I was completely blind-sided!! I was hoping I wouldn’t have to face those kinds of things for at least another 10 years! Lol!

      Reply
  3. brendanstallard says

    April 3, 2013 at 6:13 am

    “Tell me what you really think.”

    Leanne/Heidi,

    (I don’t have children)

    I was born into a Catholic family, in 1950. I was told NOTHING about anatomy, or sex, at all, ever, by anyone.

    To the point that when I was getting ready to think about sex and had a willing partner, I had no idea of the mechanics.

    The only thing I was told about sex was that it was WRONG, and that I would surely go to hell for thinking about it.

    I was told so much BS that I firmly believe that when children ask the question, they are ready for the answer. I certainly was, and was told nothing.

    It IS just anatomy. It is a dangerous, confusing world out there, children should be armed with the facts to protect themselves.

    brendan

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      April 3, 2013 at 8:12 am

      So true. In my book, I talk about how my tendency is to tell WAY TOO MUCH, which creates its own problems (not to mention hilarity).

      Reply
    • mrsk12 says

      April 3, 2013 at 1:50 pm

      I’m all about telling him the truth when the time is right… I don’t want to shelter him his entire life, for sure! But I really hadn’t prepared anything this early in his life & I feel like even if I had given a legitimate “answer” it would have been a sticky situation either way. He’s two. Lol!

      Reply
  4. The Byronic Man says

    April 3, 2013 at 7:20 am

    What I think is funny is (having just had a girl a few months ago) how many people said, “Oh, girls are definitely easier.” I think it’s a conspiracy to give people comforting news. Which isn’t so bad, as conspiracies go…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      April 3, 2013 at 8:13 am

      I think it’s like saying “[My first language] is the hardest language to learn.”

      Reply
    • mrsk12 says

      April 3, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      I think it can go both ways. Growing up in a house full of girls (not to mention being one–ha!), I know first hand that girls are dramatic & needy & expensive, just to name a few. But from watching my classmates & family, I also see that boys tend to grow into more of a handful. I’m sure there are arguments to both sides. Parenting in general is not an easy task!

      Reply
      • The Byronic Man says

        April 3, 2013 at 2:07 pm

        Well, I hope for your sake boys are in fact easier. And I hope for my sake that it’s girls…

        But yeah, I’m sure each has its own perks and challenges.

        Reply
  5. amom27 says

    April 3, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    I am almost 40 years old, have had 5 kids of my own, and I’m still waiting for my parents to tell me about the birds and the bees!!!!! 😀

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      April 3, 2013 at 9:45 pm

      Ha!

      Reply
  6. thesouthsidegirl says

    April 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    I have two little boys and trust me, give it a couple of years and the questions will come-a-rolling! After taking my 3 year old to the toilet in the supermarket the other day, he proceeded to run screaming “mummy’s lost her “wee man” and has a flower instead” to checkout full of people. My 5 year old… well he’s just plain disgusting! The joys 🙂 x

    Reply
  7. thesouthsidegirl says

    April 3, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    P.s i think my mum gave me a book when I was 11 and left it at that. I never asked (the pictures in the book traumatised me enough! Lol)

    Reply
  8. susielindau says

    April 3, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    Kids say the darndest things. Wasn’t there a show like that a long time ago? I remember my own kids bringing up subjects before I had time to think. I usually answered honestly and hoped for the best!

    Reply
  9. The Hook says

    April 4, 2013 at 7:34 am

    You certainly haven’t failed your child – or anyone else, for that matter!
    Great post!

    Reply
  10. blowingoffsteamandmore says

    April 4, 2013 at 9:58 am

    I leave it to my son (5) to teach my daughter (3). They were discussing anatomy in the car and he said “Do you know why girls don’t have penises? Because they pee out of their butts.” I figured it was close enough and left it alone, giggling in the driver’s seat.

    Reply
  11. brittneerene says

    April 4, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Yeah my 5 year old just asked me where baby’s come out of their mommas. I still haven’t gave her an answer. :-/

    Reply
  12. julie gardner says

    April 4, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    When my daughter was born, my son was two. As he watched me changing her diapers, he wanted to know why she had a front butt.

    A front butt.

    Yep. We used that one for a while…
    (not my proudest mom moment. but true.)

    Reply

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