When I was ten, my parents abandoned me to go to California for two weeks. They even went to Disneyland. I barely recovered.
Like all good families that are unalike*, I repeated this process in Florida.
I wrote about it in my latest humour column for The Calgary Herald.
It begins like this:
You know you’re not vying for Parent-of-the-Year when you leave your children for five nights to go to Disney World. And you lie about it.
Last month, I had a teaching conference in Orlando. I took my husband with me because he generally requires less care than our eight-year-old twins. We abandoned our kids with my parents who had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Nothing tests a marriage like children; I figured it was time to remind my parents of that fact.
To read the rest of the column, click on Disney World, minus the kids.
*Dear Mr. Tolstoy: Please don’t haunt my dreams tonight for butchering your opening line.
Dear Readers: What event in your childhood are you (or your kids) barely recovering from?
Clay Morgan (@ClayMorganPA) says
Laughing to hard at this intro. And of course your daughter made that sign! Sweet.
David N. Walker says
Leanne, I seriously wonder about the sanity of anyone who would leave Calgary, where the high temperature forecast for the week in just over 80 degrees farenheit to spend time in Florida, where both the temperature and the humidity are always over 100. You did your kids a favor leaving them at home, so ease up on your conscience.
I love your writing style and humor! Your post gave me the good idea of starting to save up for my son’s therapy too. I am a child mental health therapist, but I will have to refer him out..I wouldn’t be able to b objective enough about how much I screwed him up.
Stephanie Haefner (@StephaniHaefner) says
LOL! We did it once and had a fab time. We drank adult beverages, relaxed int he hot tub, rode our favorite rides ten times in a row, and didn’t wait in line for one character meet n greet! 🙂 And it was actually my daughter’s idea (though I already had the trip booked when I asked her opinion). I told her me and dad were going on an adult vacation without her and her brother and I asked where she thought we should go. She said, after only a moment of deliberation, “Disney.” I asked why and she said “So you can go on all the rides I don’t like.” I love that kid!
Julie Glover says
I went to Disney World for a conference once too, but I rubbed it in. 🙂 I told them in particular about the awesome ride at Epcot that I went on until I thought I might puke, which is exactly how boys rate a ride–its pukability. I promise they are not too scarred from that experience.
I love the part about saving up for your children’s therapy. But don’t stress. There’s so much we do – and we don’t do – that might require a shrink. Just look at it as this will give them something to write about when they get older. Whoops – now, I’d worry. 🙂
The Hook says
Hilarious piece, Leanne – again!
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