April 22 is Earth Day, which means kids will be coming home from school with great ideas. Most of these “great ideas” are things we parents wish we were doing already: growing our own vegetables, packing litter-less lunches, and singing Kumbayah.
I admit defeat early in the three above-mentioned Save-the-Earth campaigns: I kill house plants, I believe pre-packaged granola bars are a godsend for lunches, and I can’t sing.
So, I submit my own Earth Day tips, ones that I’m already doing.
Without further ado, here are 5 Earth Day Tips for Lazy Parents:
Tip 1: Avoid Washing Your Vehicle
Savings for the Earth: decreased water consumption
Savings for the Parent: your dirty minivan is a canvas for budding artists. With their pudgy index fingers, kids can draw hieroglyphics on the side of the vehicle, marking their territory like a dog.
Tip 2: Avoid Bathing Your Children Daily
Savings for the Earth: decreased water consumption, part two
Savings for the Parent: you save nearly 30 minutes per night by not plopping your children in the bathtub, and you avoid getting soaked yourself. If you bath your kids only every third day, that’s over two hours of time saved each week, not to mention the savings on bath and cleaning products. Plus your children’s “natural oils” help their skin to stink glow.
Tip 3: Limit the Duration of Hand Washing
Savings for the Earth: once again…decreased water consumption
Savings for the Parent: the opportunity to yell “You’re killing the fish!” every time your child leaves the tap running for the length of a Dr. Seuss book. My twins now yell this phrase at each other. And at me.
Tip 4: Morph the Recycle Bin with the Craft Table
Savings for the Earth: a focus on the second “R”: reuse. And the noble job of extending the life cycle of paper towel rolls.
Savings for the Parent: with recycling and crafts in the same space, you have reduced the carbon footprint of your disaster area. Once a week, just wheel in the blue bin, shovel the whole mess, and rejoice that your cleaning is done.
Tip 5: Say Sorry to the Earth
Savings for the Earth: not much, but there’s the myth that talking to plants helps them to grow
Savings for the Parent: a quick way to look semi-responsible when your son stomps on new shrubs and your daughter picks every half-budding flower (while you’re seated on a park bench, reading your book).
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What Earth Day tips do you have for lazy parents?
I sit here eating my cottage cheese out of my reusable container and reading your blog. Because you are my colleague, and I rather like you, I will choose to ignore your slam against my Litterless Lunch campaign. I’m taking the high road here. ;-P
LOL. I actually like Litterless Lunch. Although unwrapping the individually-packaged granola bars and throwing them in Tupperware is a bit of a pain. 😉
I save the earth by allowing my child to go naked. No laundry necessary = less water used. And its not because I hate doing laundry…. I really love the earth, trust me.
No clothes for Earth Day = great tip. At least for kids…
How about saving the earth by not going to the two toddler birthday parties both taking place at Chuck E. Cheese this week to which you have been invited, thus not consuming gas and further polluting the earth (not to mention not having to endure 20 screaming toddlers getting horribly messy amidst all that noise and chaos and inedible pizza.
I already only bath my daughter every other day so am glad I can now use the excuse that I am saving the earth (in reality it is because she so hates getting in the bath that I can only bear the ordeal every other day!)
I am very good at number 3. I will have to try number 5. But I am suck a lazy parent I forgot about Earth Day.
It’s actually not till next week, so you’re not as lazy as you think…
This list is great!! I love how you broke it down in two categories savings for earth and savings for parents. This list also makes me feel good about myself because I’m already doing #1 and #2.
Thanks!
Hmmmm – how about reduce AND re-use? I am not sure how many trees my oldest daughter has personally saved by refusing to use kleenex and just picking her nose with her finger. The occasional kleenex that does get used ends up being “re-used” as a fun toy that the two kittens shred to bits all over the living room floor.
Too lazy to read the whole question about how my tip relates to being lazy…maybe saving me the time and energy of having to buy kleenex – therefore bypassing the entire “kleenex/cat toy aisle” at the grocery store all together.
I love the picking-your-nose tip. I guess using a sleeve instead of a kleenex would also help!
How about reading the same book over and over and over and over again (at your child’s demand) thus negating the necessity to by new books and wasting resources and allowing parents to go to their happy place as they robotically recite said book from memory. In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon…
Good night, moon. Ahh…we know it well.
Holy Toledo this is funny. I love your style.
When we just have cheese pizza to eat, I tell my kids, “We are saving the earth by not eating it’s beautiful creatures.” Usually shuts them up. Of course, we hit Wendy’s the next day.
Yeah, our kids eat pretty healthy.
God – I went and wrote a semi-serious one and I feel like slightly like a nob. But good for you on recycling your posts! #ftw
I think my grandma wrote this list. She 99. she still uses the same canteen of cutlery she received as a wedding gift. Sadly, it outlived my grandad. She has been re-using the same sandwich bags for years. She washes them out and pegs them on the line to dry. She also made my christening robe from my mother’s wedding dress.
Regarding washing…she prefers what she refers to as a ‘cat’s lick’ : a naked scrub down in front of a full basin. Baths are a treat for Sunday nights.
If she could use the internet i’m sure she’d have some fab suggestions to add to the list 🙂
I couldn’t forget about Earth Day, what with all the paper flyers that came home that week from school promoting it. I’m sure they only used a few trees worth.
Tip #6: Use paper plates (a couple times a week) – Saves more water for the earth
Parent Saver: Less time in the kitchen doing dishes, more time spent chasing children…hmmm, I need to rethink this. The water running drowns out the children fighting, gives me peace…UM, “Sorry Earth”