It is my pleasure to introduce you to this week’s Whiteboard Wednesday blogger. Misty is a lawyer by day, writer by night. In her spare time, she brushes up on her killer ninja skills. She mostly does this by catching unsuspecting fashion tragedies on the streets of her city, and taking their photo unawares. She is stealthy and deadly with a camera phone. You can read all about her trials and tribulations on her blog: Misty’s Laws.
It was football season. My son and I were spending a leisurely Saturday afternoon in front of the TV, watching a college football game. He is 8 years old, and a recent fan and student of the game. Therefore, it is not unusual for any game to be peppered with twenty bajillion questions, shooting rapid fire from my son’s mouth, regarding how the game is played. I have become accustomed to explaining pretty much every play. I am a human rule book.
As we were watching the game on this afternoon, there came yet again a teaching moment. The ball was snapped to the quarterback, he moved back a couple of steps, surveying the surrounding field and looking for a target to throw a pass to. Not finding a suitable player to throw the ball to, he decided to start running. As he ran, one of the defensive backs from the other team ran towards him and dove forward to tackle him. The defensive back ended up hitting the QB right below his knees, just as the QB was starting to pivot around and turn away from him. And what subsequently ended up happening was that the QB had his legs tackled out from under him, but since he was starting to turn, he actually fell down butt first, and fell on his tackler. It was in essence like he was sitting down on the tackler’s back like he was a chair. Right after he sat on his tackler, the QB popped right back up and ran a few more yards with the ball before getting tackled to the ground for good.
My son, having a basic understanding of the rules of the game, of course had a question about this unusual play.
“Mommy?” he asked. “Why wasn’t he considered ‘down’ when the guy tackled him? Why was he able to keep running and get more yards?”
And because I am a good mom who always tries to educate my son on all aspects of life in general, and in football specifically, I answered his question like this:
Which sports to your kids watch?
Which sports did you like as a kid?
You women…always turning everything sexual, even the innocent game of football. Tsk, tsk, Misty! However, I am impressed that you’re teaching your boy the rules of the game. My wife would have fallen asleep next to our son on the couch had football been on the television.
Well, I will confess that football makes me really sleepy for some reason as well. I don’t know what that is. Because I LIKE football and like watching it, but right around the end of the second quarter, I find myself getting drowsy. Weirdness.
Probably all the liquor.
Valid point.
Oh my. haha! Love this, Misty. I also love that you love football as much as I do. My kids and husband have zero interest. At least I don’t have to explain the rules to anyone.
Yeah, it took me a few years to really learn what the hell was going on out there. Can you guess that it all started because of a boy? Yeah. And although I am well versed in football rules and terminology, god help me if I had to name a specific position. A safety? What the hell is that? If you aren’t throwing the ball or kicking the ball, I have no idea what you are!
I never understood football. Even when I was a cheerleader in high school. Wait, I think I just reinforced a stereotype. 🙂
But I bet you had really nice pom-poms. 😉
SAME HERE, Renee!! I was a cheerleader and I used to chant one of the cheers, “First and Ten, Do It Again” having NO idea what I was saying or what the heck it meant. 🙂
My lowest moment came when I chanted: “BLOCK THAT KICK!”
We had the ball.
Ooops.
If it’s on espn, the boy is watching it! If the rest of us look vaguely interested, the girl will watch it!
Well then, I guess that’s easy. And that way, HE can explain everything to her.
As George Takai would say: Ohhhh Myyyy!
Perfect.
Fantastic!
Sadly, our boys like to watch sports, I do not (then again, no one complains when I read while a game is on). I will watch anything they participate in (played a little baseball back in the day).
You, Misty, are a good, good mom.
Thanks! I will say, that the boy is into baseball hardcore right now, and I do get tired of the monotony of baseball games on the TV every single night. So, a good mom, but maybe not a GREAT mom. 😉
Haha! That’s great.
Thanks!
Your explanation helped him understand why…I am sure he missed the double meaning. As a middle school teacher I understood, though I had to read the narrative to understand what you meant. I played football, baseball, and tennis as a kid. I still enjoy watching football. I dropped my son off this morning for the first day of sophomore football. My daughter plays softball. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Oh no, he has no idea what that phrase means. He took it at face value. I, on the other hand, could not contain my laughter. And, you’re welcome!
Haha! I love it. Lucky for you, he’s too young to understand how that sounds to those of us with our minds in the gutter. 😉
Yes, he’s still too young to have a dirty mind, thankfully. That’s what the teen years are for!
Tee-hee…You said, “Went down.”
I was talking about football!! Get your mind out of the gutter, Thoughtsy. 😉
Just be glad the tight end wasn’t involved. Also, be careful when he asks you to explain “backfield in motion.”
I may need to wait until he’s 18 for that conversation.
I find that the older I get, the further down in the gutter my mind goes!! 🙂
See answers like this is why my girls didn’t play sport…………ok they didn’t play sport because they have no interested in doing so…………
Thank you, Misty, for filling my head with the tune of “Jungle Boogie” and visualizing men in football uniforms. *shakes head like an etch-a-sketch*
Yeah, it’s been in my head as well. And what’s wrong with men in football uniforms? Those are probably the only stretch pants that I can ever get behind. 😉
Wtf?! What do I have to do for a guest post?!
I love you, girl.and I’m not even drunk.
Hugs!
Valerie
I won’t say that it involved anything that might have been aluded to in the above post. But it totally was.
Why are you drinking without me? :p
Love this! I’m going to find a way to work your line into some random conversation with my daughters!
Yes! Do it. Report back on your ability to keep a straight face and their clueless expressions.
Thankfully he didn’t ask for further clarification. lol
Only about the football. He is still too young to get innuendo, thankfully.
lol, you just never know what’ll come out of your mouth till you it’s out. I caught my self saying regarding my 15 month old to my neighbor, “He just loves balls!” and I paused. My neighbor is a pretty religious girl, so I didn’t push the subject, kept my laugh in my head and went on with the conversation.
Brilliant! And good job with the straight face.
Funny! Enjoy those jokes… you will only be able to say them for a few more years until he catches on.
Hilarious!