Karyn is a lapsed social worker, work-at-home mom, and one-quarter of Team Pickles. Along with Ben (the thinker), Molly (the doer), and Ian (the Brit), she battles for truth, justice, and the Canadian way in a world where parenting and puns go hand-in-hand. Follow their adventures at PicklesINK and get short bursts of funny on Facebook and Twitter (@karynpickles).
Imagination Has Its Limits
“The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless.”
~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Ben has a wonderfully active imagination. I was okay with it when he was quietly teaching his imaginary preschool class in his bedroom. I was fine with it when it was “Picture Day” every morning for a month and I found hundreds of pictures of empty chairs on my camera. I was even perfectly happy when his friend Manta came with us everywhere we went; at least he had someone to play with if he was bored.
But when his imagination started interfering with everyday necessities, like eating dinner, I had to draw the line – which is how it came to pass that one day, in an attempt to get him to STOP PLAYING FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE, I reached the end of my rope and found myself counting him down, firing empty threats in every direction, and finally shouting:
Furious, I grabbed the invisible CD player by its invisible handle and continued, “I’m putting it up on top of the fridge where you CAN’T REACH IT!” Cue the hysterics: Ben threw himself on the floor sobbing, Ian collapsed to the floor laughing, and I remained a stonily calm oasis in the middle of it all.
After a few minutes, Ian collected himself enough to choke, “Oh, honey – Give it back!” I relented and returned the imaginary CD player to the table with a stern warning and Ben pulled himself together and ate his dinner.
Just wait ‘til he’s a teenager and I can ground him by taking away his imaginary car keys.
Your turn:
What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever disciplined your kids? Did it actually work? Did you have any imaginary friends?
After a long week of misbehaving children while the Man was away, I came in the room to find their bedroom covered in shaving cream. I remember hitting my knees and just sobbing. The kids ran they were so scared and I yelled at them and told them to hit their knees and start praying that I would get my sanity back and not to get up until I thought God was listening.
Oh my! I think I would have hit the roof too!
I’ve learned that the Man is not allowed to leave for extended vacations. The children have this belief that if they are badly behaved, he will have to come home early to punish them. It doesn’t work, and yet they insist on trying it.
: Bwahahahha!! After reading this, it really can’t be topped! Great read! You are hilarious! 🙂
Aww, thanks!! Ben provides so much material though – really, I’m just his secretary!
Yup, hard to top that! Whoo.. laughing out loud here!
Thanks!!
That’s brilliant!! And it worked, haha.
Thanks! I don’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t – maybe sent him to his room without his imaginary dinner!
And Leanne has you beat, two-to-one, Karyn. Her household probably never runs out of imagination. I suspect Chris is the most entertained husband/father on the planet.
She’s got double trouble! I don’t know what I would have done if Ben had been a twin.
Only imaginary words are coming out of my mouth at that. He is going to be fun when he gets older 🙂
Lol – he sure is!
Baaaahhhhhaaa!! This is hilarious!!!
As a child, I too, had imaginary friends. One named Emily, for whom a place was set at the table every night. Well, until my brother and HIS imaginary friend came along. HIS friend ate Emily’s plate. And then he ate Emily.
That bastard.
Oh my goodness! What a jerk!! I bet your next imaginary friend was a wolf or something. Take that, Emily’s eater!!
We never did have imaginary friends…at least I haven’t seen them. Made me laugh! I like your kid already 🙂
Whoa! Things are really changing. I know people with imaginary friends but not imaginary activities or gadgets. I am sure though that your kid expects imaginary punsihment…lovin’ your family already!
Oh my gosh! When I was little I had two imaginary friends growing up- I blamed those twins for everything. My kids never invented any, but this post sure makes up for the humor we missed out on. Thanks!
My 3 YO daughter has a blanket that she cannot live without and do not even think about her not going to bed with it. World ender right there. Lately she has been calling me into her room multiple times after I put her to bed because she claims that it is too dark for her to tell which side of the blanket is pink and which side is green. Evidently she must know this while falling asleep. Last night on the 5th trip to her room to assure her that pink was touching her and green was facing up, I said that if she called me back in there, she would not be able to sleep with blanket in her bed anymore! While it was a threat that I would never have the heart to actually follow through on, it did work!
My daughter once had imaginary land snails in a real tank environment she had made. After she once more forgot to clean out her guinea pigs I confiscated the imaginary snails until she could prove she was a responsible pet owner and deserved them back! Trying to muster up a serious face and carry this out for a whole week including me imaginary feeding the imaginary snails was a tough task..
That is such a funny story…I’ve often thought of making a book out of the things you never thought you would say when dealing with children. My most recent? After swim class, Jack, a nine-year old, came out of the changing room tangled up in his tank top and asking for help…my answer…
“It’s not a Rubik’s Cube, Jack, it’s just a t-shirt!”
That’s why I love my job!
This really made me laugh.
I don’t remember much about it but I had an invisible friend as a child called Thomas. My mum told me that I had asked if Thomas could come to tea one day, I was only two and so thinking my Dad had agreed with one of the neighbours she said it was OK. That is when he moved in. He stayed with us until I was about five because my Mum had been advised to just play along with it and it will soon pass so she did.
Thomas left when I asked my Mum to tie his dog’s lead onto the post outside the local supermarket. I think she’d just had enough by this point and when she refused suggesting Thomas attach the lead himself he left. He did attempt to return through my younger sister though which freaked my Mum out a little.
New to the blogging thing. I had a misbehaving child once. Now he’s a misbehaving teenager. Sometimes it’s tough to break the mold.
Hilarious!! 🙂
Classic…I love it!
The thing is, I bet your kid will remember this punishment the most. They admire creativity.
Lol – they keep me on my toes thinking up new ones – the latest is the my 3 yo daughter has to follow her bedtime rules or she doesn’t get to wear anything pink in the morning. Whatever works!
OMG – hilarious!!!