Yesterday, I had the pleasure of guest posting at Educlaytion, a blog by Clay Morgan, a talented pop culture guru and history professor. Each Friday Clay runs a Friday Flick Face-off, where he picks a theme and pits movies up against each other, with readers having the chance to vote for their favourite. For my guest post, I selected 5 movies that I love that have Canadian connections. Check out the post here.
Guest blogging outside of my usual content area was a lot of fun. I actually had to do something called research. Only rarely do I google something for my blog (though recently I tweeted a pressing research question: What is the name of the Backyardigan that’s pink, spotted, and ugly?)
My memories of films, however, have not always been this positive. My first horrific experience with movies was in October 1993. It was the day I found out my grandmother had just died. I was at university and had spent the day making travel arrangements and talking to professors about alternative due dates. I had a melt down while trying to buy bread. A friend offered to take me to a movie. Whatever we wanted to see was sold out. So I said, “I’m in the mood for something light and happy. How about True Romance?”
Into the theatre we went, more naïve than preschoolers watching Sex and the City. If you haven’t seen True Romance, let me just say it’s neither true nor romantic, nor does it star Meg Ryan. My husband describes it as “technicolor violence.” I’m not sure what that means, but True Romance makes Rambo look like a Jane Austen flick.
For entirely different reasons, another movie I dislike is Titanic. Yes, I know James Cameron is Canadian, but patriotism is overrated. Titanic was the first movie my husband and I saw together. We met in Bahrain, and weeks after we started dating, we decided to do the obligatory movie night. Between calls-to-prayer, we walked to the theatre and sat amidst a crowd young Bahrainis who had the entire script memorized.
It wasn’t long after the opening credits rolled that I realized I despised Titanic. First of all, it was structurally inaccurate: since Old Rose is narrating the events of her voyage, how could she remember scenes she wasn’t in? Plus, jaded me didn’t buy the seemingly-pubescent Leonardo DiCaprio as the love interest.
Unbeknownst to me, my husband-to-be also hated the movie, but he was worried I was loving it. He says the moment he saw my face basking in blue indi-glow light (from checking my watch repeatedly), he knew we were kindred spirits. From that point on, when our fellow moviegoers were reciting lines, we were whispering snarky comments to each other, like “I’m glad the boat took only three hours to sink.”
Our kids may have inherited this love-hate relationship with movies, but this post is not about them. It’s about movies and me. And it’s also a bit of a selfish lead in to a series I’ll be doing in a week: Ironic Mom Goes To Hollywood. I have tickets to Oprah’s Annual After Oscar Party at the Kodak Theatre, and I’m bringing my sister, as well as Thing 1 and Thing 2 (the miniature versions that fit in my purse and don’t require oxygen or food).
Cool! I can’t wait to hear what you get into in TinselTown. Ouch on the True Romance, and I’m with you on Titanic.
As for experiences, I’ve seen bad movies of course, but nothing really that interesting. I do remember being on a date in the theater to see that Eminem movie 8 Mile when I was called and told my grandma had taken the final (and expected) turn for the worse. I left the movie to be with her through that last night. I never ended up watching 8 Mile after that, but mostly because I never wanted to see the thing in the first place! Ah, what we do for courtship…
Wow. Quite the memory. Is there something about Grandma’s and movies? I myself have not seen 8 Mile. I think you’re wise not to watch it again. Some memories are not worth revisiting.
Unfortunately none of my grandmothers were obliging enough to save me from the torture of watching Titanic. The sad part is that I dont seem to learn and went and watched Avatar.
Nevertheless I love the movies. I watch close to 200 movies a year (the number includes movies I am watching for the second, third or fourth time). I watch Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump once every year. 🙂
But my favorite movie memory involves an Indian movie called Rangeela. For those who havent seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It is a typical love story, with all the color and melodrama that accompanies an Indian movie. But it is well made and the characters are truly lovable. Anyways, on to the memory. I watched the movie in the southern city of Coimbatore. For every song the whole theater would actually get up and dance. After the first song, nobody was sitting where they started the movie and this went on for every song. A truly amazing experience.
Can’t wait for the Hollywood posts. Seriously. Particularly the one where you meet with Colin Firth, a struggle ensues, you secretly drug him, and you bring him back to Calgary to live as your house-boy.
Perhaps you can drive the getaway car at the Calgary Airport…
Count me in!
I am totally with you on Titanic. It came out when my son was born and it was, virtually, my first outing- other than the grocery store. I was hormonal and exhausted and would have much rather slept somewhere for three hours. To this day I cannot bear to hear or watch Celine Dion (not that I could much before). Another movie on my list of colossal wastes of time was Jerry Maguire. I have no idea why people loved it. “You complete me”? Puleeeze!! Renee Zellweger and Tom Cruise are nauseating and all I could think throughout the entire flick was “Show me the credits!” Thanks for listening.
LOL at “Show me the credits!” And yes to your comment on Celine Dion. Proving once again that patriotism is overrated.
I saw Titanic in the theater after I cracked my tailbone learning to snowboard. Longest three hours of my life.
Hands down, worst movie moment? I got a bit queasy and lightheaded watching “Outbreak” when Rene Russo pricked her finger with an infected syringe. I walked out of the theater into the lobby to get some air. I must have looked a bit off because someone walked up to me and asked if I was okay. I said yes, then promptly passed out and woke up a few seconds later with people stood over me preparing to call an ambulance. I was fine by then and just wanted to disappear into a whole in the ground… but the theater was worried I might sue so I had to fill out some form. Ugh. Haven’t thought of that in years.
Sorry to make you remember that…and sorry to admit that I laughed; it was a wonderful retelling. May that be your last “outbreak”!
When my sister, who was 7 years older than I, went to college, I would go visit her for the weekend and we would go to the movies. First up was “They Shoot Horses Don’t They?” – I was 11 – it still gives me nightmares. Next visit – “Bless the Beasts and the Children” – who comes up with these movies? Third visit – “Anne of 1000 Days” – she looses her head you know. Fourth visit – “Camelot”. Do you notice a theme here – 40 years later I’m wondering if maybe she was trying to get me to stop visiting. ;P
Oh, and on the subject of Leonardo as a romantic leading man in Titanic – it makes me think of Justin Bieber in that kind of role – eeeeeew!
It’s amazing you ever stepped into a theatre again! And your Leonardo-Beiber comparison was right on: that’s exactly what it’d be like.
Hubs and I watched Anchorman with his Southern Baptist mother (whom I ADORE). They didn’t say in the previews, “Not Suitable for Women Who Wear Shoulder Pads to Church.”
I thought I was going to fall through a hole in the ground and land directly in Hell if I laughed at all the (in)appropriate parts.
ROFL. “Not suitable for women who wear shoulder pads to church.” I love that!
I hated Titanic too. I’ve been verbally thrashed over that one many a time. Oh, and the Notebook. Many women hate me for hating that too. Its just… too sentimental. And I can’t help the snarky comments coming out!! I also had a movie moment that involved a death, and it took me a long time till I was able to watch it again without bursting into tears. I love movies, but I hate them too. I have strong reactions to movies. Most people don’t get my movie taste. I feel your pain. I couldn’t imagine watching Titanic in a room full of adoring fans… yikes!
I have yet to see The Notebook. Since I think we have similar taste in movies, I think I’ll give it a miss. I generally prefer snark over sugar.
“A movie moment that involved a death” sounds really, really difficult.
Thanks for commenting.
You’re not the only one who didn’t like “Titanic.” I fell asleep EVERY time I have tried to watch it. I can’t make it 15 minutes into that movie.
I should have shared this earlier: Here I thought I stood alone on my hatred of that movie!
I have no patience for goofy-guy movies: Chevy Chase, Adam Sandler, that “Elf” fellow. And Ben Stiller? Ugh. WAY too much anger-disguised-as-humour for me.
And while “The Bridges of Madison County” is my favourite movie of all time, I didn’t like “The Notebook”, either. It tried too hard to make me cry and I resent that.
To Keenie Beanie:
Is it really bad that I laughed out loud reading your pass-out story? I’m sorry.
I seriously dislike Titanic as well. My biggest issue with it is when Billy Zane is running around a sinking ship trying to shoot Leo D. The water was chest deep! Put the gun down and get off the boat loser.
The movies I hate are numerous and vast. They tend towards the melodramatic though. If a movie is trying very hard to make me cry, I’d rather skip it.