The Olympics are over. For me, this means I have to go back to parenting. No more abandoning my kids in front of a DVD player with the instructions, “Call me when it’s time for bed.” No more eating dinner in front of the TV in the basement, which we euphemistically call “having a picnic.” […]
It's a Rant
Raising Normal Kids
This parenting thing baffles me. Generally I’m so lost in a labyrinth of fuzz that I don’t even bother to think about it. But today, I’ll wander back in. In many ways, I don’t have high expectations for my twins. I don’t expect (or want) them to be the top of the class, famous actors, […]
I Believe: A Parenting Manifesto Inspired by the Olympics' Theme Song
The Olympics’ theme song, I Believe, has been getting a lot of airplay. Makes sense, since it’s The Winter Olympic Games and all. If you haven’t heard it, you’re clearly living in a media-deprived world, which begs the question: how are you reading this blog? I’ve posted the shortest version I could find. Feel free […]
Why Winter Olympic Sports Are Psychotic
There’s a certain stare-death-in-the-face quality to the Winter Olympics. Figure skating involves blades that can slice flesh. The game of hockey combines freshly sharpened skates with 100 MPH slap shots. Then there’s downhill skiing: where speed meets the very real possibility of hurtling off a cliff, unless some orange-colored mesh fencing miraculously catches your Gumby […]
Is It Possible To Outsource Brushing Your Kids’ Teeth?
I hate brushing teeth, whether they belong to me or someone else. At least when I scour my own, I get gratification after two minutes, running my tongue over polished enamel, falsely imagining how happy my hygienist would be. With kids, there is little reward for many tasks, including brushing their teeth. Let’s face it, […]
My Own State of Parenting Address
I don’t read parenting books. And, at the risk of offending many readers, I don’t recommend reading parenting books. I’m fully aware of the irony of me – a mom writing about raising kids – telling people not to read about parenting. Hopefully by now, though, you’ve figured out that I’m the antithesis of an […]
Birthday Cards: An Apology Disguised As a Rant
Birthday cards are a problem for me. I can never find the one which contains a balance of humour and intimacy, magically revealing the personalities of the recipient and myself. I’m a competitive card giver, and someone else always finds a funnier, better one. I also despise spending $3.95 on something that’ll be history in […]
What Reality Shows Can Teach You about Parenting, Part 2
Feel free to read Part 1 of What Reality Shows Can Teach You about Parenting, or feel free not to bother. American Idol may not seem like a primer in parenting, but it is. Where else can you learn that everyone judges you? That lesson became apparent on a recent trip to IKEA. I had […]
Pregnant in Bangkok: remembering
There are things that scare me more than pregnancy, such as raising children or having a camera crew chase me around as I attempt to parent. But even after disasters such as lying face down on a golf course amidst a spectacular lightning storm (and I don’t even golf), pregnancy still ranks up there on […]
Those Annoying Christmas Letters: A Rant
It’s the advent of Christmas Card Season, when things other than bills grace my mailbox. Whenever I get a Christmas card, I go through the Kubler-Ross stages of emotions, from denial (It’s not Christmas again, is it?), to guilt (I really should send Christmas cards), to bargaining (If you’re going to send me a card, […]