I love name stories. The funny ones, the misunderstood ones, the weird ones.
I have a lot of name stories. I’ve been Leanne Shirtliffe since the day I was born, and that same name will be etched into my tombstone one day. Life with this name is entertaining, to say the least.
Here are 10 Ways You Can Twist My Name:
- Forget the r, and become Leanne Shitliffe. Yes, letters have arrived in the mail this way.
- Lose one of the f’s, and you are now Shirtlife.
- Add a c in the middle, and you become Leanne Shirtcliffe.
- Add a t to the end, and voila: introducing Leanne Shirtlift. Not that a 16-year-old guy would ever say this to a developing 13-year-old girl. (Pass the sarcasm, please).
- Listen to your friend’s dad call you Lion Shirtsleeves.
- Change the first vowel to an o, and you become Leanne Shortliffe, which is rather ironic when you’re tall.
- Wait in a Thai waiting room for three petite women to consult each other before calling “Lennie Shh.., Lennie Sh..ur.., Lennie Shur-something?”
- Find your name in several basketball tournament programs listed as “Leanne Shirtless.”
- Listen to announcements over the high school P.A. system written by your witty coach: “The varsity girls surprised everyone by playing Shirtless for the entire game.”
- Swoon as a poet reinvents your name: Lean and Shuttle on Life.
Why all this name reflection?
Well, I’m getting my name out there. I’ve added Leanne Shirtliffe to my blog title, and I’ve changed my twitter handle to @LShirtliffe.
I am finally heeding the advice of Kristen Lamb, social media expert extraordinaire to writers everywhere, and author of the brilliant books We Are Not Alone and Are You There Blog? It’s Me, Writer. Kristen gave me the push to put my name out there, to become the writer I am (and want to be) by claiming my name. And when I did switch my Twitter name from @Ironic_Mom to @LShirtliffe, Kristen championed me.
So today, for my 200th post, I’m getting serious about being funny. I’m still the same ol’ ironic mom with a healthy side-order of snark; there’s just a more visible name behind that sass.
Swag For You
I started this blog for many reasons, the least romantic being “because two agents told me to.” But I’ve come to love blogging because of you, my readers. Some of you lurk, some of you comment; regardless, I appreciate all of you. In short, you rock.
So, to celebrate my 200th post, I’m giving away some swag.
Leave me a comment – maybe tell me a story about your name – and you’ll be entered to win one of five prizes below.
Prize 1: A set of the most amazing kids’ cards, Spark Story Starters. These creative cards for kids are the brainchild of Tamara Vukusic, an amazing woman I met at the Surrey International Writers Conference. If you want your kids to develop their creativity, you need these cards. Go to Spark Story Starters to check them out. There’s even an iPhone app.
Prize 2: A book and CD of Froggy in My Throaty. My sister-cousin, Sonja Reisdorf, is the talented author and singer; I also suspect she is one of the women my husband thinks is funnier than me. Her website is at Wee Be Jammin and she’s just released her first full children’s CD. Froggy in My Throaty is a catchy tune that never fails to get my twins jumping, dancing, and knocking over heirlooms.
Prize 3: A stunning, modern-style mango wood vase from Thailand.
Prize 4: Beautiful handmade pressed flower miniature cards from Thailand.
Prize 5: A Guest Post: You can either guest post chez moi or have me guest post at your site. Your choice.
So, don’t forget to comment. And thanks, eh?
Hi, Leanne – great post. So, you’ve asked us to share our name stories, huh. Okay.
My maiden name, Belin, seemed to cause problems for every teacher, coach, and swim meet announcer I ever met. If they heard it pronounced (“bale in”) they couldn’t spell it, and if they read it on paper, they couldn’t pronounce it. I’d get “Bee-line” “Berlin” “Bell-in” “Bee-leen” and so on. I even got “Belinsky” once.
In 6th grade, I tried to take charge of the problem the first day of class by explaining to the teacher: “you know how you BAIL OUT water from a boat? Well, it’s BAIL IN.”
Big mistake. The kids called me BAIL OUT for the next few weeks.
When I married a guy with the last name of Owen, it was a no-brainer to decide to change my name. At last, an easy one to pronounce and spell!
But now I get OWENS instead of OWEN. Sigh.
Too funny! Now of course, you could just say, “Rhymes with Palin.” Not sure if you’d want to go there, though. 😉
WooHoo! *throws confetti* another name changed. That Kristen Lamb will get you eh?
Is confetti the same as hole punch remnants? My students think so. Anyway, KL knows her stuff. Thanks to you and Piper for the intro!
Your post made me laugh and I had to comment. It is similar to one I wrote about the issues I have experienced with my own name. http://bize-mom.com/2011/05/05/whats-in-a-name/ over the years. To read the trauma see the post above.
However, one little tidbit that I have saved especially for your comments is a story that took place at Blockbuster video shortly after I married my Polish husband. I had recently taken his last name KRZAK (translates to Bush in English) but is pronounced K-Shok. After filling out the paperwork to get my new video card, the person at the counter activates my plastic and hands it to me saying, “There you go, Mrs. Crotch.”
I swear on my children this is a true story. Don’t ask me how or why they thought KRZAK should sound like a person’s genitals, but some things just aren’t worth speculating. As a final bit of fun, I challeneg your readers to say my name 3 times fast (it’s a tongue twister) Richelle Krzak …. (pronounced) Ri-shell K-Shok ….. have fun!
Your post is hilarious! (What does a Richelle look like?)
And Mrs. Crotch. Bwahaha. I love it when the comments are funnier than the post. And K-Shok sounds like a superhero’s name. Do you have a cape?
My first name is Dawn, and I’ve always loved it because of what it symbolized — for my parents. I am their first child (of three), and it’s clear they understood that having kids was a new beginning!
I agree.. It’s a gorgeous name. And an action. Calm but strong.
I have had so many name issues in the past!!! My maiden name was Jenilyn Jung (Sounds like Young, like the psychiatrist)), and everyone thought I was distantly Asian, calling me Jen-Lyn Young. I also had more mispronunciations than I can count. My step-sister used to refer to me as Egg fu Young, an endearing little moniker. But my favorite, by far, was sharing a birthday with my boyfriend’s mom, Tria, at Cracker Barrel. The entire staff came out to sing to us while the packed restaurant watched… “Happy birthday dear Jenimnn and Tree.” Oi.
Happy Birthday songs at restaurants are always horrible (add extra points ifyou have to wear a hat). Your story made me laugh!
Congratulations, my blogging buddy! You absolutely should get your name out there, in all its variations – you are a writer worth knowing about.
Thanks, Lori. Can’t wait to meet you in August. Actually, I’m having trouble believing we’ve never met…
Youi always have such original posts. Well done, young lady!
Thanks, TH. Having an original name helps.
My name is David Nilsen, a last name that has never been spelled correctly by a stranger without assistance. Mail of the junk and genuine varieties has come with Nilskin, Nilfen, Nielson, Nielsen, Nileson, Nelson and about 30 other variants. My first name even got typed as Daria once, which I wasn’t really upset about because I loved the old MTV cartoon.
There was one time, however, about a year ago, when I got a customer service person on the phone and started spelling my last name for him, and he cut me off and spelled it for me. Correctly. And then launched into a diatribe about people mispelling Scandinavian names that lasted easily 5 minutes. He had been harboring resentment for a long time apparently, and knew I would understand. He seemed like he needed some companionship, so I let him rant. It remains the only time someone has spelled my name correctly without help.
A ranting Scandinavian: I’d run for cover. (My mom’s side is Norwegian – and yes, we say Skoal and make lefse).
Who would have thought there’s so many versions of Nilsen, eh? And Daria? Really?
My given name is Diane Marie Samson. I’ve always disliked Diane and have of late tried to get people to call me Marie. Hasn’t worked. So I’m going by Diane Marie. I was constantly teased as a child for my last name, with references to the Biblical Samson. At initiation/indoctrination in college in 1967 my indoc name was “Hairy .” In university my friends called me Sammie, which was probably the closest I’ve come with being happy with my name. So I know the stings of fun-making of your name. Great post. And glad to meet you.
Well, you’re Marie to me! Or Diane Marie, if you wish. And it’s great to meet you too. I know so many people who are called by their middle names, but it’s hard to get people to change partway through…unless you move, which is a bit extreme, I guess.
Thanks for commenting!
Question: How do you pronounce your last name?
My not-so-serious answer: like a bad cough.
My serious answer: Shirt (like the clothing) and Liff (soft vowel sound). The “e” at the end is silent. (Something I rarely am)
Thanks. Will be endorsing your blog on my podcast this weekend. So I wanted to get your name right. Although, I do promise to put all the other pronounciations in too. 🙂
How cool is that, Vinay! Can you send me the link? Thanks!
Ha! My maiden name was Markey….Paige Markey. Bring out your best paper jokes, little boys in second grade. Fortunately, Kellerman suits my fame a little better…
Kellerman has that “killer” instinct. You don’t mess with a Kellerman. Certainly not one named Paige! 😉
Btw…Kristen Lamb also worked her magic on me and got me to change my Twitter handle. She is a wise writing/media shaman..
She is indeed. And her followers are pretty wise too from what I’ve seen!
My first name is Shreya, it’s an Indian name. I used to live in US where, many had trouble pronouncing it, they would usually go with Shriya. Worst were the baristas, they would refuse to call out my name or make a bleak attempt to pronounce first few letters of it. Once I decided to go with “Sam” at a cafe, when the sandwich lady called Sam, I went up to collect my order, she gave me an evil look and asked for the receipt! Apparently, I can’t pass Shreya for Sam. Le Sigh!
P.S. Love your blog!
I love the name Shreya. I taught a lovely young woman at an international school with that name. I can’t believe the barista asked you for your receipt! Is coffee theft a problem? I mean really? Thanks for commenting.
Congrats on the 200th post!!! Very cool. You are my blogging hero.
As for name stories? My last name is Loye. Yes, Loye not Love and not Lloyd. Oh, and my first name is Muriel. Which on it’s own isn’t too bad, until you have someone rhyming it (badly) with Urinal.
Yup. Urinal Love. That’s me.
Trish, I was laughing out loud. Urinal Love? My mind sees a cartoon. Trish Loye Elliot says published author to me, though.
Way to go! I’m due for a name change as well. I loved Kristen’s book. I think I highlighted 90% of it.
My name story: My name isn’t legally Annie. But from birth until 4 years of age I didn’t know that. At 4 I had finally mastered spelling and writing the name Annie as well as my long 8 letter last name. I cheered to my mom. Then she told me Annie wasn’t really my name. It was a nickname and my first name was really 8 letters long, like my last. I remember feeling very overwhelmed at the notion of learning to spell and write yet another ultra long name. I’ve always been Annie to my friends (who in elementary school liked to call me Fanny Annie) and family and it will always be that way. Before I know it I will be Granny Annie. It has a nice ring.
It does have a nice ring. My grandma sometimes called me Leanne-y, which I didn’t like. I preferred it when she called me Goldie Hawn, which also didn’t stick. Amazing that your nickname stuck. Annie is a name with a lot of personality, though. Something tells me you’re a woman with a lot of zing yourself. 😉
PS. Love the new health blog. Can you “healthify” me?
Congrats, Shirtless (so in pick-up games, you were always a skin, right?). Glad you took those agents’ advice and started your blog. Many people’s days are better for it when they wake to words from the Shirtless one.
And good change with the Twitter handle. I did the same a while back per Kristen’s advice.
Names? Mine is pretty common today, but when I was a kid there weren’t a whole lot of Chases around. Lots of “Hey, Chase the ball” jokes. Meanie-heads. My sister’s name is Cebee. Not sure what my parents were thinking. Mid to late 70s so I’m guessing recreational drug use.
Oh, and if you start tagging your posts “Shirtless,” I’m pretty sure your views will be off the charts. Just something to consider.
You’re cracking me up, again. Yes, skins, with a killer sports bra. Right. And I’ll have to look into that tagging idea. Right.
But Chase McFadden? Sounds like a pen name an author would choose. Second only to Knox McCoy.
Happy 200th!! The world is a better – certainly funnier – place because you’re bloggin in it!
What’s the changing of the twitter handle meant to signify – is it primarily to have your name associated with all the stuff you write?
I have no funny name stories. I got called the usual, being an Elizabeth: Liz, Libis, Lizzie, Lizbian, Lizzie Borden, Dizzy Lizzie. I sorta dig nicknames and will answer to most of them, most days.
Online, I am Belly or Bellymonster and I sometimes dream of myself as such.
Thanks, Liz. Yes, the change is so when people go into a bookstore someday (or onto Amazon, more likely), they know to look for Shirtliffe.
Had William been a girl, the name would have been Elizabeth (Liza for short). It’s classic and cool all together. Like you!
My mom loves to tell the story of when she and my dad came up with a name for me. They loved the name Vivian (you can appreciate that, I’m sure). They almost went with it, but for two reasons. Firstly, my dad (the brilliant engineer) could not – for love nor money – intuitively spell it. Secondly, my initials would have been V.D.
Congrats on your 200th post, Leanne!
VD is definitely not the acronym one wants associate with one’s daughter. That showed a lot of forethought, really. Of course, my initials are LBS, so I was happy when Canada went all metric…
Leanne, do you remember the one letter we got that had “Shitless” on it? Also, I recall you telling me that when someone wants to know the spelling, just say: “Shirt and life with 2 f’s”. Well, we got one letter that was: “Mrs. Shirt and life with two F’s”…some name eh! When I married your Dad, I thought of keeping my maiden name, but for some reason Rasmussen did have it’s complications too!
How could I forget about that one, Mom? Wasn’t it addressed to Mr. Shitless? I recall many laughs over that!
And “Mrs. Shirt-and-life-with-two-Fs”: hilarious. I mean, really!
Oh the name stories….
No one could pronounce my maiden last name correctly unless heard before. It was very handy later in life to weed out telemarketers.
But no one paid any attention to my last name when the simple five letters spelling “Kelly” were such a goldmine. “Smelly jelly Kelly with the big fat belly.”
Both of my children have names that do not rhyme with such words on purpose. Kids will have to be more creative.
I had nicknames later in life that had nothing to do with my actual name, but students read your blog, so I shall refrain from posting those here.
One of my best friends used to sing the “Thumbelina” song with my name (thanks to his younger sister), calling me “Kellerina”, shortening it later to just “Rina”. I liked that one.
For now, just call me Mother of Chaos..
Hey, Rina, the Mother of Chaos, thanks for the great comment. My husband has the ability to make fun of every name. When a friend claimed she’d named her child something kids could never make fun of, he looked at her and said, “Zack, Zack, rhymes with butt crack.”
But I agree with you: there are some names that kids (or my husband!) have to work harder at to make fun of.
I was named after Kristin, who shot J.R on Dallas. Thanks for that, Mom.
In addition, my last name is Herdejurgen. I’ve been called Haagen Daaz, Hurtin and Jerkin’, Her-dee-jur-ghen (not right) and H-h-h-… Kristin?
Congrats on 200 and the name change!
That’s a great story! I mean, Who Shot JR was legendary! One of the first real cliffhangers in TV history.
That last name teasing. I empathize. But it sounds so cool!
Hi Leanne! I am a lurked and am making my first and probably only comment, just sayin’! I learned about your blog from Rob Shepherd and have been hooked ever since you guest posted for him when the twins were born. I am a stepmommy to an almost 6 year old boy and my Hubby and I just welcomed our first son 4 months ago.
Anywho, on to the whole name thingy…my maiden name is Bessey. As you would probably ask, YES like the cow! But imagine being a high school athlete (basketball mostly) and during games friends would bring cowbells and ring them….yep, it happened to me! Hopefully that’s worth a free gift, preferably the vase! Haha, just kidding, but really!!
Thanks for blogging, I really enjoy your posts! It’s encouraging!!
I think you deserve a free gift just for being a high school basketball player (I was one of those too – and just last week we got a hoop for our driveway and I’m in heaven!).
But cowbells? From “friends”? They clearly had a great sense of humour, as do you.
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
I played ball in college too =) We have a goal on our curb so the neighborhood kids can play anytime….it’s fun to watch them and occasionally get out there and play too! Do your kids like basketball? Probably not just to spite you =)
I love reading your blog Leanne, 200 WOW way to go. As for names I was born a Zinck, which is super common in NS, not so in ONT. Anyway I was so tired of always being the last person in lines at school or graduation etc. that I vowed when I got married that I would be taking my husbands last name so that I could move up in the alphabet. I am now a von Wahl, big move. Luckily my kids have lots of Weare’s, Zwickers’s Whynot’s etc in their class so they aren’t at the end of the line. Keep up the great blogging,
hilarious!!! I teach in the Middle east where I get through half the class before I hit the surnames like Baker!!
@Sarah: I forgot about that. All the Al’s in the Middle East…
The alphabetical thing. Never really thought of that (though I was always glad I wasn’t an “A” in high school). Thanks for commenting, Judy!
I don’t know who “Kristen” is, but I know that I’ve never had just one name. Maiden name? Paige Annette Roper. I’ve received mail in all forms “Rooper”, “Raper”, “Rapier” “Rapper”; and as one commenter posted, all the “page” “Book” and “Paper” jokes one child could put up with.
My nickname is “Par” which was taken from my initials P.A.R. I’ve had every variation of that one too, from Par-cheesi, Parkay, and Par-par, as well as “par for the course” (we lived on the 18th hole of a golf course for my formative years). Then there were the combinations of my mothers name (Marjorie or Margie) and mine: Parjorie and Pargie.
Now, I’m married and I don’t think I have one name, I have several. Ama, Par, Paigers, Bunner, Mom and “that crazy scout lady”.
Names are really overrated. 🙂
Nice Post!
Wow. That’s a lot of names. But fun, too, right? In some ways, people shorten your name when they like you. It happens as harsher teasing when you’re younger but as adults, I think it’s often done out of endearment. Right, Page-a-rama? 😉
I married into my last name “Bond”. I mean really, how could I NOT take it 😉
on the down side of being a Bond:
Every time a new movie comes out we get a litany of prank calls by giggling pre-pubescent boys.
I get this statement upon hearing my last name, “Bond, Jackie Bond. Do you hear that a lot?”
Yes, yes I do.
But the best is people who don’t believe they heard correctly, or, who didn’t hear correctly. I once talked with a lady at a business who was going to send me some information. I’m pretty sure she didn’t catch my name, so she must have called back and got my voice mail. The message says “Hello, you’ve reached Jackie Bond with ____”
The letter I received was addressed to Jackie VonWith.
That is hilarious…
And you’re J Bond, too. What a great name is that! And Jackie VonWith? Isn’t that from the Sound of Music? 😉
Congrats on your 200th post and well done claiming your name. I too am often the unwitting victim of spell checker – frequently being addressed as Keys Keene. I adopted the surname upon marrying the Brit, and few people have spelled my name right since. I rather like the alliterative effect though.
Yes, it is nicely alliterative. And K is such a strong sound, a don’t-mess-with-me consonant. My guess is that we North Americans lengthen the vowel sounds in Keene quite a bit…
I have a good friend whose first name is Pilar – everyday-common in Spanish-speaking countries but terribly unusual to Anglo-Saxon ears. Growing up, she got everything from PLAR to PEE-lar to (cater-)PILLAR to PIE-lar. She was the butt of every mean-spirited joke from her childhood and teenaged peers and the heckling took a serious chunk out of her self-esteem for many years.
Her middle name is Elvira, which was often pronounced el-VIE-ra and suffixed with “Mistress of the Dark”. She omitted her middle name from her consciousness and her signature for almost three decades.
And don’t even ask her about her (German) last name, it’s also been flogged to death as far back as she can remember. It continues to be mangled at every opportunity.
Today, my friend is an incredibly well-adjusted and confident 40-something woman…Amazing, considering all the abuse she had to take because of her name.
Pilar is a beautiful name. I think you’re right. Often it makes us stronger as adults. Often having an original name makes us stand out that much more!
So my name is very boring; no good stories for Julie Christianson Gardner.
Therefore, I will share with you a conversation I had with my husband this weekend. I was telling him about one of your blog posts (because we lead a very full life around here and I often tell him about the blogs of people he’s never met. he loves it. trust me); Anyway, I got to a part where I said, “So Vivian and William – ”
and he stopped me.
“Who?” he said.
“Vivian and William…they’re her kids…”
And he smiled. “Those are my grandparents’ names.”
I was a bit embarrassed for him. “Ummmm….no. Those aren’t your grandparents’ names,” I corrected. Gently. “Your grandparents were Clem, Hazel, Roy and Fanny.” (then I giggled a little on the inside because those names kind of suck.)
He looked at me and said, “No. Roy and Fanny’s real names were William and Vivian.”
??????
Who knew? When we were struggling to find names for our OWN kids and we rejected all of our grandparents’ names as completely unusable, you’d think he MIGHT have mentioned that. Because I love Vivian and William.
My HUSBAND’S name is William.
Anyway, I had always thought your kids’ names were cool just because of Fred and Ethel.
But now?
Love.
I love this story! I read it aloud to my husband. We’re now going to call Vivian and William: Fanny and Roy.
Because you make me laugh.
Dear Lean Shirtless,
i absolutely love your blog. it’s one of the first i came across when i finally joined the blogging community and i’ve been “lurking” ever since.
my first name Kristen gets confused with Kristine a lot, but I was Krissy growing up, so of course I got the Krissy Pissy [i believe that was thanks to my older brother].
my last name was always a problem: Kueneke [pronounced like Kennedy but with a k instead of a d]. the most popular mispronunciation was Kinnicky, like in Grease. so then of course i got a lot of “hey want a hickey from Kinnicky?” Kinooky was another one.
i thought that changing my name when i got married would solve some of that, but people seem to have a hard time with Fairgrieve too. Fairgrieze, Fairgrief, Fargrief.
love the blogging and congrats on 200!
signed,
krissy pissy kinooky fargrief
Dear krissy pissy kinooky fargrief,
You are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. (Last night, my husband read through the comments. He said, “Have you read KristenSays? She’s funny.”)
Thanks for lurking!
Love the post Leanne…and congrats on getting your name out there for everybody to see. Always enjoy your posts so keep them up.
As far as the name goes…my last name is Chaney so I’ve always gotten things like “Chain Gang” or “Chain Chain Chain…” But the bulk of my name issues have come from a certain gun-toting vice President with a similar sounding (yet spelled differently) last name. “Hey, are you related to the Vice President?” “Ugh…NO!”
The political connection. Of course. I expect you’ll be happy when Dick is nothing but a few sentences in an American history book; I suspect he’s halfway there already. 😉
I’m not interested in winning anything but I have a story I’d like to share. My name is Svannah. A lot of people wonder how its pronounced. But really, it sounds the same as Savannah. There is one manager at work who is bent on calling me Ssss-vannah. Its rather annoying. And of course its alwys spelled wrong but I just get over it now. Let them be wrong. 🙂
It’s a cool spelling. The Sssss-vannah must sound rather reptilian (or maybe that’s how I’m imagining your manager)!
No funny names here… just aggravating mistakes. I’ve been: Causey, Corley, Cawley, Carlin… pretty lame. My dad wanted to name me Carmen, initially. I’d have been Carmen Carley. Reminds me of the Common Cold. But it is by no means better than Leanne Shirtlift. Kudos to that clever genius!
There’s been a lot of clever geniuses in my life. It amazes me how much trouble people with apparently simple names have: Carley isn’t difficult, but people still stumble. You’re patient…
My name is pretty simple. Jared Clifton. Spelled the way it sounds and sounds the way it’s spelled. Phone-etiquettely. People ask, “Is that J-A-R-R-O-D?” To which I reply, “Jay-Rod? No. Jay-Red. Stupid.” And that’s why I’m no longer employed at Old Navy.
Also, I had a friend in high school who was from Canada. His name is Jarrett. You guys probably know each other. Cuz your both Canadian, eh? Aye? A?
Do you think the people who call you Jay-Rod are Yankees fans? Maybe they’re projecting. And I think I know Jarrett. He lives in the igloo up the ice, eh!
Can I just say that the magic of this post is in the comments? I am snort-laughing over here, at all the name-mangles and the awesome way people tell their stories.
That’s all. Carry on.
Are these not the best readers ever? I know. Each one of these comments deserves its own blog post!
I don’t think I’ve ever told you but a nickname for a gay guy in UK is Shirtlifter….
How did I not know this? Maybe that’s why all those recruiters in London commented on my last name. “I’ve never heard the name Shirtliffe before. I would have remembered that one.” Hmmm.
Leanne Leanne BoFan, Banana Fanna Fofan, Fe Fy FoAnne, Leeeeeannnne!
Or something like that….
LOL. I sang the name game once for my volleyball coach, whose name was Richard. I used Rich instead. I stopped when I got to “Bitch.”
My maiden name spelled backwards sounds the same as my first name, and my first name spelled backwards sounds the same as my maiden name:
Sarah Harris
That’s more than just a little cool, isn’t it?
Two comments by me? Can you tell it’s report card time??
I can tell it’s report card time. That’s what’s on my agenda, too. I love your comments. And I love Sarah Harris. You were born to love language.
I once had a credit card come in the mail addressed to “Christ”
As in, God.
As in, seriously? You didn’t think to recheck THAT ONE when it crossed your desk?!
I saved the card 🙂
Christi Corbett
Hilarious. Your credit rating must have been perfect!
Now I also have a funny story about how my friend named her son….. but you’ll have to write a blog on how people choose names first..
Great idea for a post. Seriously! Vivian was named in the back of a Bangkok taxi. (Named, I said, not made)
Oh, what fun!
Well, I”m big (in spirit?), little (in stature), and a wolf, by any other name…
What more can I say?
My shoe friend: something tells me you are very big in spirit. And that Wolf serves you well.
I read your blog thanks to my friend Kathleen (amomenttothink) and it makes me smile every time. I tend to lurk but since you ask so nicely I thought I would comment. I have a French last name and now live in English Canada, so people can’t pronounce it. Yet when I got married, I never thought of changing it. It’s my name, for better or worse. Thanks for your blog and keep posting!
Thanks for stopping by, Sophie. If you live in Alberta, we likely massacre your name. I get your desire for keeping your name. It was non-negotiable for me. Thankfully, my husband supported it fully. What kills me with French names is when people want them pronounced in English. In Kingston, there a hospital called Hotel Dieu. People say “Hotel Do.” I never could call it that.
While pregnant, my husband and I agonized over a name for our soon-to-be little girl. I was stuck on the name Eliza. I loved the possible nicknames and the meaning: “happy.” My husband, who grew up in a one stoplight town on the Oregon Coast (aka hickville), considers himself almost Hawaiian (hey he grew up near the water and boogie boarded once.) So he really wanted to give her a Hawaiian name. He finally picked Mahalia and insisted our daughter be Eliza Mahalia Klinkner (start the therapy fund now). Hating the name but wanting to keep Eliza, I told him to look up the meaning. No joke, it means: “fat.” We literally planned on naming our child “fat and happy.” The next day I googled and found a list of “top 100 names in Australia in 1997.” That’s where I found the name Teagan. Husband agreed. Afterall, Australia is practically Hawaii.
And the meaning? Teagan: “little poet.”
Teagan means “little poet”? How I love that! I love Eliza too. Vivian was almost Liza. If you could take the negotiating skills that parents use to name their children and applied it to the Middle East, we might have peace.
PS Congrats on getting your name out there. It is not just the writer you want to be . . . you ARE that writer. Thanks for continuing to share your talent. I need the giggles.
Aww, thanks, Olivia.
Vicki: not Victoria – just Vicki. My parents wanted to give me a name no one would ever shorten. However: since the day he mastered the “V” sound as opposed to “B” or “W” my little brother has only ever referred to me as “Vic”. It stuck. No one in my huge crazy family calls me Vicki. Just Vic.
I once dated a guy who called me “V”.
Traumatising childhood nicknames: Tricky Vicki, Sticky Vicki, Vixen – Yes, my parents gave me a perfect stripper name – complete with 2 “i”s.
Fast forward to the present: My boss and 2 of my best friends at work have never called me anything but “Vic-TORR-i-AHH!” The exclamation mark at the end is vital to the pronunciation.
So much for my parents’ best intentions.
Congrats on claiming your name-space on the interwebs. 🙂
I love that. And “So much for parents’ best intentions” sounds like it’s going to be the subtitle of the tell-all book that Vivian and William publish someday.
You’re always Vicki or Vic to me. Or That Cool Drama woman. Or That Hilarious Woman I Met In Bahrain, And Again In Bangkok…
Congrats on the 200 posts. Thanks for keeping us all in stitches. I tend to loose my patience getting my boys ready in the mornings & my short self imposed time out is reading your posts. Your title should include the word ‘therapist’ in it. I’m sure many would agree.
I married into the name “Vukusic”. (What was I thinking?! – My maiden name was Macpherson which conjured up images of the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated in the minds of those who didn’t actually, uh, see me). Recently I was spelling my newish name over the phone “V-U-K-U”… no, no, “V-U-K-U” and the woman on the other end of the phone said in a meek voice “m’am it sounds like you are swearing at me”.
Rock on Leanne Shirtless!
Thanks, T. If “therapist” is in my title, it’s because William and Vivian are going to need one.
Ohh. The model connection. That’d be tough.
And the “swearing at me” comment has ME in stitches!
My neighbor was complaining to me about sorting through papers. “Don’t you just hate sorting papers?!” It was hard not to laugh as I told her “no I don’t I work as an archivist in a museum.”
Neighbors. I could write a whole other blog post on neighbours. Mostly on the nice ones who let me drink their wine.
Hmm…Froggy in My Throaty, if you know what I mean…
Not too many people pronounce my last name properly the first time. It’s even more fun to spell it for them. The second H throws them every time. But I like having a unique name. It makes me feel special!
Funny! And that cousin is in on all the iykwim jokes.
Yes, I agree. Unique names rock. William and Vivian have Shirtliffe as one of their middle names. This caused much problem in Thailand (as their name was too long to be translated into English on their officially translated birth certificate). This, however, is another blog post.
Congratulations on your 200th!
My maiden name was Scaddan. All throughout school I was called Scabs, Scabby,Scabben.
It was never correctly spelled in any mail we received. Skadin, Scaddon, Scadin,etc.
It is even misspelled on my 5th year anniversary toaster from work Scadden.
I have since married and taken the name Beattie. Only to be referred to as Mrs. Beattle by both the post office, and parents of my students.
One particular moment that stands out in my mind was being called by an Irish friend of my brother-in-law’s. In his heavy Northern Irish accent he kept calling to me “Arn! Arn!” which I completely ignored, thinking he had had too much and was beginning to babble. It turns out he was calling my name ‘Erin’. I should have recognized it, it being Irish as well!
Wow, kids are creative, getting Scabby from Scaddan. I think I may have to start calling you Arn. It’s rather charming…
Congrats, LShirtliffe! So glad to hear you’re “getting serious about being funny.” 🙂 And, the bonus of not being LeanneShirtliffe for your twitter handle? Five extra characters, which can be as good as gold in this 140-character-limit world.
It’s really hard to mess up a name like Kim Wilson. Really. The only thing that generally happens is that I get a two-syllable first name which sounds more like Key-im, and somehow in the Deep South, my name attracts a “t” and is pronounced “Wilt-son.” Nothing too scary there. People have a lot of fun nicknaming me, though. The funniest ones: Dekimbo Mutumbo and Kimbo Slice. Ah, irony.
Hilarious. I can completely hear Key-im. I kind of like it. Yes, I had a twitter handle crisis when “LeanneShirtliffe” wouldn’t fit. Kristen calmed me down. Go with L, she said. And you’re right: I do get extra space!
Thanks for commenting, Dekimbo. (How creative are people!)
I’ve had more nicknames that I can count from the delightful Hatty to the not fit for family ears: HairyDog FunCock (yes, for real).
Congrats!
Dear Ms. FunCock,
Thanks for commenting. This will bring me some interesting traffic from search engines, no doubt!
My name is Robyn and I grew up in a burb outside of Edmonton called Sherwood Park. Sherwood being the key element here. I had a boyfriend in high school named John. That’s right, we were Robyn Hood and Little John Romping through the forest. My peers thought they were so clever. Ahhh youth, if only to be romping through the forest now…sigh…
That is hilarious. I always wondered what would happen if I dated a guy named Lee. Hello, Department of Redundancy Department.
And I know LOTS of people in Sherwood Park!
Look at you, Mrs. Thang! Although I have been putting off the switch myself, thinking, “Well, Leanne hasn’t, so…”
That’s only partially true.
And my maiden name Woodhouse was a lot of fun. She’s a wood…howwwwwwwse. Got that one a lot.
But Buttram? It’s in a league of it’s own.
Ms. JButtWhat. I love your name. And you! The switch is remarkably easy, should you ever want to make it!
My name is Scott.
No lie. My name is Scott because my dad named me for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G75cORqX_oQ&feature=related
A handsome lad, indeed!
Do you wish you hadn’t known that? 😉
I rolled with laughter at the man-wig. Good gracious that was some hair!
Poor Scott.
I believe you know my story via Tamara’s post, but I’ll tell it again. My name is Renee. Pronounced Re-NAY. I don’t mind it in writing, in fact I rather love my little accent et gout. But when said aloud, it is soooo nasal. There was a period where I would not answer to my name. I made my parents call me Sarah. Or Jamp. I was kind of evil. These days, I have tons of nicknames and I try to bury my first name under all the others. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson. Hell, I even threw a hyphen in there!
I have ten skillion nicknames: Ren, Renna, Renz, Nay, Nay-Nay, Sha-Nay-Nay, Hon, Honey, Hools, You, Hey, You. Those are so much more intimate. My students know me as RASJ, and that is how I sign most documents. I’d love to be published as rasjacobson, no spaces or capital letters. I pretend I’m e.e. cummings in my mind.
What would Kristen say? Oy. 😉
Can I start rolling the “r” when I say your name? I’m good at rolling the r. I grew up in a French town.
And I can’t wait to give you a nickname of my own creation. It’ll happen. 😀
Yes, you should roll the “r.” That would be excellent. And very French (-Canadian). Et je parle francais aussi. Et tu? 😉
when i first started going to a new church, a guy called me Tanner, I let him know “it’s tyler”. He said he was joking, I deny it. He is one of my best friends now and people at church are about 50/50 with called me Tanner/Tyler.
Then the baby got diarrhea.
“Then the baby got diarrhea.”
Tanner, you are so funny!
I have always collected really bad, but real, names.
One of my favorites comes from a girl I worked on yearbook with in high school. Her name was Connie. She was dating this guy, and I begged her to never change her last name should she marry him someday. She did, and she did.
His last name? Cockshutt
Yes, her name was (and is for all I know) Connie Cockshutt. How one stays out of the porn business with a name like that I’ll never know.
Runners-up:
Desiree Devine (Am I the only one who thinks that this sounds like a stripper’s name?)
Candy Cane
Sherry Berry
My mom always swore that she once knew guys with these names:
Rick Shaw
Bob Loblaw (Try saying it quickly three times.)
Oh my. Cockshutt? Wow.
But Bob Loblaw has got me spewing my tea!
Congratulations on your 200th post! 🙂
The worst thing that’s ever resulted from people mis-hearing my name is that I’ve been called Christina. I don’t understand how someone, looking right at me, can have that name in their head – about to roll off their tongue and not think “Hmmm, I wonder if I’ve mis-heard him…”
Now it seems that I need to seriously consider the suggestion made by Kristen about claiminig my name.
Yes, that Kristen will get to you…but it’s in a good way.
Laughing at someone calling YOU Christina!
I love that list!
I also started my blog for practical purposes because it was advised. It didn’t take me too long to fall so hard for the blogs I’d stumbled across that I (largely) forgot blogging started as a practical venture.
As for the name question? I’m normally reluctant to post direct links in someone else’s blog because I’ve seen that abused, but I really did just write an entry about redefining my last name instead of writing it off as polluted by bad history. So, here’s that entry: http://bit.ly/iFrFcp
Wow, that’s quite the story or reclaiming your name! I like it.
And you definitely get how blogging can morph from business to pleasure. Thanks for commenting.
Yeah, so I already posted my name story, but I have another to share.
My high school spanish teacher was Mrs. Rash. Her husband’s name? Richard. Only he went by…. wait for it.. Dick.
Talk about name cruelty…
D’oh! Now that really is bordering on cruel!
Hilarious! I worked with Ima Haug. No joke. And went to school with a boy named Mike Hunt. When the secretary called him to the office over the intercom it never came out sounding right.
@Annie Oh my. That’s bad. My husband knew a woman who hyphenated her last name. She married and became Hearder-Moan.
@Kelly. Really? Mr. Dick Rash? Seriously?
Seriously.
You cannot make this stuff up.
If we are telling other people’s name stories… my brother’s lab partner in med school was an Indian girl by the name of Lickma Vajama. Say that a few times. Out loud.
My maiden name was Swaffield. You can just imagine. I’m native Canadian – born in Calgary as a matter of fact. The name is German I believe – and we were pirates in the 16th century. But oh my they did EVERYTHING to this name. Squakfield – Swasfield – Swayfield – you name it. Funny story about a pastor that we served with on staff in PA. His name was LaVerne Clute. He would get mail in the church office addressed to LaVerne L. CUTIE – ALL THE TIME. So funny!
I keep forgetting you were born in Calgary! (keep reminding me – the road from short-term-memory to long-term in my brain is windy).
Love that change of name. Especially that it happened all the time!
I have never really had a problem with my last name but, my given name has sure caused alot of problems. It is SHEILA. There are not to many people that I have met that can spell it the first time around. Nine times out of ten I get is the” i before e, or the other way around.” I’ve had Shiela, Sheileigh,Shielah,Sheilaugh.Then over the last 15 years, when meeting new people “Shirley ” seems to have become my new name. I don’t look like a Shirley.. I just want to be Sheila. Is there any other Sheila out there that has this problem?
Sheila-Shirley: How bizarre is it that so many people mix it up! And the spelling. I can see how that’d drive you crazy. Thanks for commenting!
Hi! Thought I’d add to all the name hilarity. Or frustration, however you see it. My name is Aleta. If I introduce myself to someone and they say “wait, what’s your name?” more than once, I spell it out for them. And even after that happens, it is rare for someone to get my name right more than 5 minutes after being introduced.
The jokes? The ones that aren’t funny anymore? Well, after Austin Powers came out, the one with that character Alotta Vagina (sorry for the crudity. Well, no I’m not), brought about a whole slew of lovely nicknames for me. If anyone has half an ounce of imagination, you can just see the jokes that would arise from my name. In high school, one group of annoyingly charming boys called me Atilla the Hun. Those same hil-AR-ious boys called me Aleta Tequila for awhile.
After all that, I am proud to the bone of my name. I was named for my great-great-aunt Aleta Lane. I have this gorgeous picture of her with her sister Florence (my grandmother shares that name) and a cousin, whose name I can’t recall. The ladies are all dressed up in their finery: double-breasted peacoats, feathered hats and subtly elaborate hair styles (or elaborately subtle; I can’t decide which sounds better). They have these smug, slightly coy expressions on their faces that bring to mind wry good humor. That picture is rarely far from me. Except of course right now, when I can’t find it to recall the third woman’s name. My mother loved her great-aunt Aleta, who was unable to have children. And I am honored to carry her name.
I love the story of your namesake, Aleta. And you described the picture so beautifully, it’s like it’s posted before me. I can see the peacoats, the mischief…
And Austin Powers. *The* movie that everyone seems to have memorized. For that, I’m sorry. But I love how you claim your name anyway.
Congrats on Post #200, Leanne!
I talked about my name in this post: http://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/who-am-i/
What I didn’t mention in that one is that my middle name is [whispering] “Gaye”. I wish I could say my parents were taking hallucinogenic drugs at the time, but the strongest thing they ingested then was Aspirin! The word didn’t have the same meaning in 1961 as it does now…my kids laugh and laugh!
Wendy
And Gaye really is a beautiful name. It is interesting how language evolves, though. I’m sure your kids get a kick out of it.Off to read your name post now!
my last name is Skidmore.
enough said.
Yup. Let the fun begin. Or not.
My sister’s name rhymes and kids in school wouldn’t always pronounce it the right way (middle syllable on both names has an “ee” sound); Regina Medina.
I felt sorry for her, but she embraced her name as an adult and always uses both names when introducing herself.
Congrats on reaching your 200th post! I’m almost at 100 and I can only imagine how thrilled you are to hit 200. Here’s to the next 200! 🙂
I’m catching up on a lot of reading, so late getting to this. However, it inspired today’s post on my blog. Hope you have time to look.
http://chittlechattle.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/whats-in-a-name/
Thanks for the laughs! I was christened Erikajayne – all one word – and I HATED it! My mother is the only person who has ever called me by my full name, and then only when I’ve done something wrong. Not only that, but she always wrote it as “Ericajayne” – probably because my dad was called Eric. As soon as I was old enough I changed my name by deed poll to Erika. And would you believe, my mother STILL refers to me as “ericajayne”
Congrats on your 200th post! Erika x
Love the names posts. I know the whole thing is over but just thought I would add a few things. My family has a book for the family tree and one of my direct decendants was Etta Roach. Then she married Burt Landcaster. Of coarse bot the famous one. My brother went to school with Richard Head and he of course went by Dick. Luckily he was a linebacker, so he wasn’t teased that much by other kids.
In Genealogy there are a lot of spelling mistakes, nicknames and spelling abreviations. When trying to find your ancestor you need to be aware of these. You may also need to know how to find them in an index when this occurs. Check out the blog about names and genealogy. It offers a number of suggestions on how to perform some searches when this happens.
Regards, Jim
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