Yesterday morning, on the endless five minute drive to my twins’ school, the kids took delight in using the word “stupid.” As soon as I told them it’s not a nice word, they started singing it, elongating the vowels and punctuating those with staccato bursts of laughter. Then last night, when I titled this blog, I began to see that the proverbial apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. To quote Forrest Gump, stupid is as stupid does.
Here, then, are this week’s Top 5 Stupid Comments Often Made to Parents of Twins:
Stupid Comment 1: “Are they natural?”
The public seems to have a burning desire to know if twins were conceived by fertility treatments or naturally. Like it’s important to know which race you’ve run to achieve that medal around your neck (which admittedly often feels like a noose). The best answer I’ve heard to this question is, “Well, they breathe air and have opposable thumbs, so I guess that makes them natural.”
Stupid Comment 2: “Are they identical?”
Nucking Futs Mama had an entertaining rant on this topic earlier this week. When you have boy/girl twins, the “identical” question makes all of us wish biology was a high school requirement. Most of our answers resemble the following: “Well, my son has a penis and my daughter has a vagina, so I’m positive they’re not identical.” Yup, we know, they look amazingly alike: almost identical, right? So do the Backyardigans when you’ve only seen them once.
Stupid Comment 3: “I bet you’re happy you had one of each.”
I’m just happy they’re both alive. In fact, I’m happy that we’ve all managed to survive so far, relatively intact.
Stupid Comment 4: “She’s such a girl” or “He’s such a boy.”
It may be the feminist in me, but nothing causes me to become irate more than this. Nothing like limiting people by categorizing my children into stereotypes. I am quite certain I could swap the characteristics of my twins and people would still tell my daughter, “She’s such a girl.”
Stupid Comment 5: How did you breastfeed them?
My no-sleep answer: with my breasts.
My some-sleep answer: like footballs.
Feel free to share comments, stupid or not, below.