I know there are car reviewers everywhere, but I’m pretty sure few of them have (a) had their kids carve their names into their current minivan, (b) had their husbands pimp their current minivan, or (c) written a book with “minivan” in the title. Ergo, in my world of twisted logic, I’m qualified to be the next woman who writes with authority about car things.
Here are ten bizarre things I love about the Toyota Sienna:
- It has a spy mirror. This makes me feel like Maxwell Smart without the shoe phone. Seriously, you can drive and see which kid whacked the other on the head first, without pulling a Linda Blair head spin to see who did it.
- It has approximately 623 cup holders, which is two more than I need on an average road trip through three provinces.
- The kids can control their own AC, the side van windows actually roll down, and there are side window shades inserted IN the sliding doors. Big deal, you say? Well, we’ve had fist fights on previous trips over who gets to sit on the north side of the vehicle through Saskatchewan because it’s so much cooler. Not this time, even though it was 35 C for much of our drive to Manitoba.
My husband can haul ALL his garage sale crap/ treasures in there easily, including these baby dummies he bought in Manitoba.
- The Sienna has a place for my purse. Actually, it has two places, so if I’m a Glamour “Don’t” and have too many bags (like I always do), the Sienna does not mock me.
- It’s the exact make and model and color as my big brother’s Sienna, but it’s newer. Therefore, I win.
- The Sienna’s sliding doors open with the push of a button on the key-fob-thingie. This is extra useful for when you’ve visited the liquor store and have your hands full of wine bottles. Also, the seat belts work wonderfully. I strapped in my bottles of wine. And yes, one of them was called Sibling Rivalry.
- The designers of the Sienna rightly assume I’m an easily-distracted person (Look! Squirrel!). Consequently, they’ve included all safety features in their base model, which means I can’t change the time on the clock while driving, and I can’t shut the sliding door on one of my kids (while driving or stopped…)
- There are separate controls for the temperature for both the driver and the front passenger. Four out of five marriage counsellors recommend this. The therapist who doesn’t recommend it moonlights as a divorce lawyer.
The Sienna’s display tells you how many kilometers you have left before you run out of gas. This can be used as evidence when you’re trying to convince your husband that you need to gas up before the next town that’s 432 kms away.
Things I wish the Toyota Sienna had but are probably illegal:
- An ejection seat with optional parachute
- A sound wall between the front and the back
- A wine fridge, for the passenger of course. Safety first!
Check out more silliness in my #ToyotaAdventure tweets.
What extra features do you wish your vehicle(s) had?