There are many ways to survive The Calgary Stampede as an intact family. Here are five. 1. Leave town. Without your children. I’m on Breakfast TV this morning. Then I’m heading east for a girls’ trip with my mom, aunt, sister, and cousin in Saskatchewan. Yeehaw! 2. If you can’t leave town, hire a babysitter to […]
Finding Humor Everywhere
How An Author Reacts to Seeing Her Book for the First Time
Yesterday, I received this text from my husband: Then, the grand opening, in which I almost stabbed my eye out with scissors: Vivian looked for her name (and found it!) William proudly pounced on the eight feet of bubble wrap until I threatened to shred it. Chris laughed at my kindergarten-author photo, which is me […]
Husbands, Dogs, and a Humor Book Announcement
Yesterday, my husband came home from the flea market and said, “Kids, I bought you half a dog.” Here he is: And by “he,” I mean the dog, not my husband. He (this time I mean my husband) and our nine-year-old twins bandied about names for the mutt. Suggestions included: Hine-y Abdomen, or Abby for […]
Hurry, Hard! Top 12 Reasons to Date Men Who Are Curlers
They’re good at using brooms to sweep. They’re protective and willing to guard anything, especially the house. They’re able to get out of the hack without taking a sick day. They don’t think skipping is effeminate. They can draw intricately. They rarely hog anything. They often go for a raise and get it. They’re extra […]
If parents were animals…
Last night, while I was out galavanting with other writers, my husband and daughter were playing an amusing game. When I stumbled into the house, Chris told me what he and Vivian had been up to. The game went like this: Chris named a person Vivian knew. Vivian chose an animal that matched that person’s […]
When Jaws Invades an Innocent Classroom
William is our awesome introvert. If you’re able to earn his trust, he’ll reveal two things to you in no time: (1) his encyclopedic knowledge of sea creatures, especially sharks, and (2) his clever, understated sense of humor. A while ago, it was bring-your-favorite-stuffed-animal-to-school day. Sometime around noon, I received an email from William’s teacher. […]
Weird Sleep Habits of Neurotic Adults
When it comes to sleep, I’m a modern-day Goldilocks, always searching for what’s just right. My bedtime routine involves heating my wheat bag (made from wheat that my parents grew on their farm), fluffing my two pillows (one flat, one fluffy), positioning my three blankets perfectly, and tossing and turning and shifting until I find my spot, the […]
13 Ways to Destroy an Elf on the Shelf
I’m pretty sure the Zombie Apocalypse will start with the undead infiltrating our homes . . . as elves on our shelves. If you don’t know what this toy is (besides an invention that’s made somebody wealthy), it’s a creepy-looking elf that “spies” on your child during the day, “reports” back to Santa while your […]
Friday Fun at NickMom
I’ve been writing again for Nickelodeon’s super hilarious site, NickMom.com. I thought I’d share some of what was posted this week. To enjoy the fun Friday reads, click on the preview images below. ~~~ It’s Parenting Bingo. The Game That Reminds You Where in the HEll Your Day Went. ~~~ Text Acronyms for Parents Happy […]
Back To School, Computers, and Sanity
Up-front-ish-ness-ness: If Shakespeare could make up words, then… (analogy fail). I may have received a free laptop from Staples in exchange for an honest, sassy review. My husband will assure you I’m an expert at being honest and sassy. I thought I had things under control this year. I bought school supplies slightly earlier than […]