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Leanne Shirtliffe

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Weird Sleep Habits of Neurotic Adults

When it comes to sleep, I’m a modern-day Goldilocks, always searching for what’s just right.

My bedtime routine involves heating my wheat bag (made from wheat that my parents grew on their farm), fluffing my two pillows (one flat, one fluffy), positioning my three blankets perfectly, and tossing and turning and shifting until I find my spot, the one that’s just right.

Whatever easygoing nature I have gets tossed in the laundry bin when it’s bedtime. If my above-mentioned routine isn’t enough to weird-out my husband, I have some other sleep-isms: I can’t sleep if my feet are hot. I need a fan (or fresh air) on me at all times. My feet need to hang over the edge of the bed. I wear fluorescent earplugs.

Nothing says sexy like earplugs.

Except purchasing my own, I-do-not-share duvet (I’ll take the least-hot one, thank you very much, Mr. IKEA). My own blankie may have actually saved my marriage; at the very least, this purchase was cheaper (and less Flintstones-like) than buying twin beds.

White socks are sexy...said no one ever.
“White socks are sexy,” said no one ever. “But…check out those chevrons on that weighted blanket!”

My latest blanket purchase was my Mother’s Day gift. I convinced my husband I needed a weighted blanket made by my friend, owner of Hippo Hug.

My friend started making weighted blankets (and stuffed animals) to help kids with autism and special needs.

And then along came people like me.

Now she also makes weighted blankets for neurotic adults with sleep issues people like me.

My blanket weighs 16 pounds. I adore it. It’s like I have a man on top of me, without the hair and elbows. A very light man. A stick man, perhaps.

When I sleep with my weighted blankie, I don’t toss and turn. In fact, I barely move. If I do move, I get a workout. Then I log it on my My Fitness Pal.

~~~

Hippo Hug has a giveaway on right now. You could win this:

Hippo Hug Weighted Blanket and Weighted Animal
Hippo Hug Weighted Blanket and Weighted Animal

And guess what? The contest is open not only to Canadians, but also to Americans. It’s like Thanksgiving never ended, y’all.

YOUR TURN:
What bizarre sleep habits do you (or people you know) have?

Filed Under: Aging (Un)Gracefully, Finding Humor Everywhere, Groovey Giveaways

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. brendanstallard says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    “Then I log it on my My Fitness Pal.”

    Leanne,

    Now, THAT I’m putting in front of the invigilator!

    Referee!

    brendan

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      You know I jest, Brendan; I only use MFP when I’m active (which was in August!)

      Reply
  2. sarah9188 says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Apparently, I roll myself into a Sarah burrito at night, which is no biggie in the summer, but Ryan seems to be fighting me back now that winter’s coming. Apparently, I fought him off with my elbow into his neck one night.

    What I’m trying to say is that I may need that weighted blanket. Also, I’m definitely logging tossing and turning as exercise now. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?!?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:47 pm

      Love the burrito image, Sarah!

      Reply
  3. julie gardner says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    I’m totally asking for one of these weighted blankets for Christmas.
    Also earplugs.

    Because I’m dead sexy.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:47 pm

      Amen, Sistah.

      Reply
  4. Amy says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    I have just been researching weighted blankets for my daughter, she has a huge problem settling down at night. This would be awesome.

    As for me, I sleep in a flamingo post and wrap myself in pillows. I have also been known to undress in the middle of the night without realizing it.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:47 pm

      The blanket is wonderful (and soft). I want to take it to the dentist next time I go…

      Reply
  5. amyboughner says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    I have just been researching weighted blankets for my daughter, she has a huge problem settling down at night. This would be awesome.

    As for me, I sleep in a flamingo post and wrap myself in pillows. I have also been known to undress in the middle of the night without realizing it.

    Reply
  6. Liz McLennan says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    I have sleep apnea, so I sleep with a mask. It’s dead sexy. Yes, I sound like Darth Vader but I don’t care because for the first time in about two decades, I am sleeping well.

    My husband is not *as* delighted with this newest development, though he is very happy to no longer be kept awake because I’m snoring or he’s waiting for me to start breathing again. (I used to stop breathing for 30 seconds at a time, 32 times an hour. Crazy, scary stuff)

    Now that winter has arrived, I wear socks to bed, but my feet have to be out of the blankets and Mark has to stay on his side. His feet cannot touch any part of me, least of all MY feet or I will kick. Hard.

    AND I wear a gummer, which stops me from grinding my teeth.

    So, to sum up: gummer, flannel pjs, woolly socks and a Darth Vader mask.

    I don’t think there’s any reason to worry about falling pregnant with a third child….

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:48 pm

      I love you, Liz. I think you one-upped me (and I’m OK with that!)

      Reply
  7. Liz McLennan says

    December 2, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    P.S. I just read the other comments and find it hilarious that Julie also used the term “dead sexy.” Ha!

    Reply
  8. ashleyomelia says

    December 2, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    I guess in a former life I was some sort of cliff dweller, because I have to sleep on the very edge of the bed. I tell my boyfriend that only 18 inches of the bed is mine because he hogs it all, but I know the real truth. 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:54 pm

      Ha. I do that too. But I blame my older sister, who I shared a bed with for years. Once I was asleep, she’d put her two feet on my back and push me up against the wall…

      Reply
      • ashleyomelia says

        December 3, 2013 at 9:12 pm

        Lol Sounds a lot like my sister!

        Reply
  9. susielindau says

    December 2, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    What the heck is a wheat bag???? Sleeping with it could be going against the grain….. I couldn’t resist.

    Reply
    • thoughtsappear says

      December 3, 2013 at 6:07 am

      I’m curious about the wheat bag, too.

      Reply
      • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

        December 3, 2013 at 8:54 pm

        It’s a small, cloth bag filled with wheat. You heat it in the microwave. It acts like a hot water bottle. Minus the water. And the bottle.

        Reply
  10. outienz says

    December 2, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    loved this! Currently needing a blankie somewhere between a sheet and a duvet and a bed much bigger than the current one and an extra side car for my transformer-toddler and a special pillow for preggie hips… I used to sleep easily but can relate to this at the moment!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:55 pm

      Oh, pregnancy. Yes, that requires multiple sleep props!

      Reply
  11. Foghorn The IKonoclast says

    December 2, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    I am pretty sure that I snore a lot, that and I have seizures but I am getting better rest and my cat is next to me. Apparently the snoring doesn’t phase her much but I have heard her snore too.. lol

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:56 pm

      Cats snore? Huh!

      Reply
      • Foghorn The IKonoclast says

        December 3, 2013 at 9:46 pm

        Yes but it is very light… she does snore.. lol. why are you surprised?

        Reply
  12. masgautsen says

    December 3, 2013 at 3:52 am

    Nice to know that I’m not the only one with unusual sleeping habits. I need at least two fluffy pillows, I’m a really heavy sleeper and I talk and move around in my sleep.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:57 pm

      Here’s to having shared neuroses!

      Reply
      • masgautsen says

        December 7, 2013 at 7:48 am

        Always good to know you’re not alone!

        Reply
  13. Laurie says

    December 3, 2013 at 6:27 am

    Love the idea of a weighted blanket! I sleep in the “Flamingo pose” as well.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:57 pm

      That’s how I slept when I was pregnant. Only I didn’t know it was called that. 🙂

      Reply
  14. Michelle says

    December 3, 2013 at 7:43 am

    Fun reading in the comments too! I am also a feet out person, and I keep my room cold all year long. Then I snuggle down in the blankets. And I’m a two pillow girl too. Also one fluffy and one thinner, but not too thin. But I hate blankets that are too heavy. I like them fluffy and light and not wrapped too tight.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:58 pm

      Agreed. I have the best commenters!

      Reply
  15. Bill says

    December 3, 2013 at 8:06 am

    I’ve been told that I snore, but, being asleep, I’ll just have to take their word. Although it did seem strange when i woke up to have a pillow tied to my head.

    While I read this post, I though I’d had the worst attack of ‘floaters’ in a long while until I realized that your web page had snow on it. Just what I needed to aid and abet those nasty things in my eye.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:58 pm

      Ha. The WordPress snow. Sorry about that!

      Reply
  16. mistyslaws says

    December 3, 2013 at 11:15 am

    I have to have sound while I sleep, so a fan is always on for white noise, but not ON me. Facing away. Also, I can’t have anyone touch me while I’m sleeping. No cuddling! Talk about sexy. I also need to have one foot out from under the covers, or possibly just a knee.

    My kids used to toss and turn like crazy when they were wee. I would burrito them when they were tiny, then sleepsack them later. I wonder if this weighted blanket thing would have helped more.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      Burrito-roll kids. Yes, we did that too with our twins. Until they got to the escape-artist stage.

      Reply
  17. Rivki Silver says

    December 3, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    That’s a great idea! And a great description of what it’s like to sleep under a weighted blanket. My husband and I are completely sleep incompatible. I need to be very, very bundled with everything tucked in. Like a cocoon. My husband needs basically the polar opposite of what I do.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:00 pm

      A male friend once told me that men can’t sleep with the covers tucked in because it’s like having an erection in jeans.

      I can’t really vouch for that…

      Reply
      • Rivki Silver says

        December 4, 2013 at 9:22 am

        Oh haha, I never even considered anything like that!

        Reply
  18. text me, love mom says

    December 3, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Weighted blanket you say, mmhh – to go with my socks (white) and MY wheat bag – and now you go and tell me these things aren’t sexy?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:00 pm

      Ha. Sexy is as sexy does!

      Reply
  19. shenrydafrankmann says

    December 3, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Since the kids came along (our kids are teens) my wife does not go to bed at the same time that I do. I always leave my bedside table lamp on when I go to bed, so I know when she has come to check in on me. She turns the light off, sometimes wakes me to say good night.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      That’s really sweet. My hubby goes to bed first, too.

      Reply
  20. Balsillie & Associates says

    December 3, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    So, my eye plugs are …not sexy? oh

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      It’s in the eye of the beholder. (And we can always hope the beholder has poor eyesight.)

      Reply
      • Balsillie & Associates says

        December 4, 2013 at 4:45 pm

        Indeed: I`m all for poor eye sight – but in the dark, who knows.

        Reply
  21. David N. Walker says

    December 3, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Sleep is for the young. At my age, you get in bed and wonder how many times the hour on the clock will change before you fall asleep. Then, you sleep a little while and wake up and start it all over again.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      I dread that. I’m bad at insomnia…

      Reply
  22. wckedwords says

    December 3, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    I felt like I was reading a diary that I didn’t remember writing. I require the 3 blankets and the 2 pillows (one fluffy and one flat). I also require a body pillow, a habit I became addicted to with pregnancy. BUT there is no freakin’ way my feet could stick out! That’s just monster-under-the-bed bait.
    Thank you for the link to your friend. My son has autism, so I’m very familiar with weighted blankets, vests, etc…, but I’ve also been searching for something heavy for myself to use that wouldn’t make me dissolve into a puddle of sweat.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      I used a body pillow too during pregnancy. I gave it up after the long pillow knocked over the glass of water on my nightstand all over my books (twice in one week).

      Here’s to a good sleep: for us and for our children, too.

      Reply
  23. wendybarronwrites says

    December 3, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    I could be captain of the Canadian Olympic Sleeping Team, really. As long as they’re OK with someone who needs a mouthguard to prevent her teeth from wearing down from clenching her jaw while she sleeps. (The mouthguard is also dead sexy.)

    I’ve used earplugs for so long now that just putting them in is a sleep trigger most of the time.

    When I’m really going for seductive, I put moisturizer on my heels, wrap my feet in plastic wrap, and slide socks on to keep the plastic in place. Men love that.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:06 pm

      Laughing at your foot trick. I think I’ll live with the scaly, rock-hard heel skin. Men love that, right?

      Reply
  24. Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos says

    December 3, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Love.

    Let’s see, I think you’re aware of my odd sleep habits. I like it freezing cold so I can bury under the covers, but if it’s too warm, I only cover my legs. I sleep with a flatter pillow under my head, a lighter one on top, and a body pillow for my side. I also have ear plugs (I’ve found a love mustard yellow kind that is just the right firmness) and top it off with playing music on my iPod with earplugs in my ears all night (song for the last year on repeat: Michael Nyman’s “The heart asks pleasure first”).

    That’s right, I’m the world’s lightest sleeper and you might almost appear normal next to me. 😉

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 3, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      Ha. That’s even more stages than me!

      Reply
  25. thatfunnyblogguy says

    December 4, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    I am so getting one for my wife. We love heavy blankets and usually have a stack on the bed that looks like we are trying to recreate the princess and the pea story. Hey, it’ll be a surprise, so don’t tell my wife…

    Reply
  26. Jen at PIWTPITT.com says

    December 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    Holy shit, I too have my own duvet and I think it saves my marriage every night. I thought I was the only one.

    Reply
  27. Hippo Hug says

    December 9, 2013 at 9:06 am

    Thanks so much for sharing Leanne, I have been enjoying reading the comments and am glad some of the people have already been in touch!

    Reply
  28. One Funny Motha says

    December 10, 2013 at 11:16 am

    I might need that weighted blanket for my husband – to keep him immobile in the night. If I sleep alone, when I wake up in the AM I don’t even have to make the bed b/c it’s still perfectly in place. W/ my husband though, it looks like a bomb went off.

    Reply
  29. quirkywritingcorner says

    December 20, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
    I’m not admitting to any weird sleep habits, unless you count that my husband and I like to hold hands until we fall asleep. I’m usually in slumberland long before him.

    Reply
  30. Rosie Thornton says

    December 30, 2019 at 5:43 am

    Ear plugs, mouth guard and 4 pillows for this momma’s slumber! Sleep in the nude to counteract the “not-so-hot babe” look. One pillow under head, one on top of head to drown out any sounds the ear plugs missed, one to cuddle and one between knees to keep hips aligned. No one can find me in the mound of pillows. (Probably good considering the aforementioned nudity.) Sleep on my left side only (no flipping) during night, on the very edge of the bed for no rational reason. Overhead fan on for white noise and cool air. For as long as I can remember (normally my memory ‘s only good for about 14 seconds), I’ve always been cold. Once horizontal, though, I’m a furnace. WTH?? Spend a lot of time nesting like a dog to get just the right spot. Insomnia? Forever. The weighted blanket sounds worth a try…

    Reply

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