Reason 1: If William sees my husband and me embrace in the kitchen (or elsewhere), he pushes us apart.
William will wriggle in between us, usually by crawling through our legs, standing up, and wedging us apart with his head and his hands. Then he’ll hug me. Contrast this to Vivian who, upon seeing us embrace, will say, “Aww. You love each other. That’s so nice!”
Reason 2: William proclaims his love for me, and few others.
When our twins were three, we were trying to survive dinner, hoping that our kids would ingest more food than they’d throw on the floor. Vivian, who has a built-in fairness monitor, said, “I love you all. I love you all the same. I love everyone in the world… But William only loves Mommy.”
Reason 3: William frequently wants to get rid of Daddy…and sometimes Vivian.
Last week, on the drive home from school, William announced, “I want to sell Daddy and Vivian.” Amidst protests from Vivian and me (Daddy was AWOL), he added, “Then it would be just Mommy and me.” This is a weekly refrain.
Reason 4: William doesn’t let me talk to my husband
When I get home from work, my husband and I usually sit down in the living room for a chat. Most days, once William figures out that his dad is talking to me, William climbs into my lap facing me, and puts his nose about two inches from mine. If I try to look around him, he mirrors me so that I cannot have eye contact with my husband.
Reason 5: William wants to marry me.
For the past two years, Vivian has been proclaiming her undying love for her classmate. It’s mutual and apparently he’s moving in with us after they graduate from high school. We’ve met the parents, and we’re fairly content with the situation.
Recently on a drive to school (proving that most interesting conversations happen in a moving vehicle), William said he wanted to marry me.
Vivian, who’s had this conversation before, said, “You can’t marry your mom.”
Without missing a beat, William said, ‘Then I’ll marry dad.”
Vivian proceeded to educate her twin. “You can marry a guy, but you can’t marry your dad. Or anyone in your family.”
So, my son is Oedipus, for now. But if Freud knew anything (and it’s been a couple of decades since I crammed for first year psychology final), he knew that boys start to pull away from their mothers, too.
I better enjoy the hugs before William shuns me in adolescence.