There are two types of people in this world: people who like quoting movies and me. I can’t remember lines from movies. I’m occasionally decent with Shakespeare, but only because I’ve taught some of the Bard’s plays a dozen or more times. But when it comes to movies, I tank faster than a cruise ship […]
children
Haircut Horror Stories
Today, I have a humour column in the Neighbours’ section of The Calgary Herald. I somehow manage to time travel and make reference to both Miss Piggy and Edward Scissorhands, not in the same metaphor (I hope). Click the link below to read it. **Kids and the Chaos of Haircuts** What haircut horror stories have […]
Would you rather have dinner table conversation with your kids or __?
Last night over dinner, we played a game of Would-You-Rather. It’s less stressful than watching all stages of the digestive process in action. The premise of Would-You-Rather is simple: you give one person a choice of two equally tempting options. Kind of like would you rather snog George Clooney or Colin Firth? Only this is […]
Happy Thanksgiving, eh?
It’s Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. Because we follow the metric system, our holiday comes earlier than our American neighbo(u)rs. The metric system also explains why Canada is colder than the US, why the Flames will beat the Penguins on Saturday night, and why Justin Bieber’s career will be over in 2016. If you want to […]
Bedtime Rhymes, Grimm Style
This summer, while spending a month at my parents’ house with William and Vivian, I learned that I’m not as much of a morning person as I think I am. I got used to my mom getting up with my kids and feeding them breakfast. I got used to sleeping in until 8:30. But that’s […]
Reign of Terror: Unleashing Kids on Grandma's House
My parents live in a new house. It’s beautiful, but my kids tried their best to change that this summer. In our first week there, my seven-year-old twins gouged several walls, wrote on my parents’ RV (just in dust, thankfully), and broke a banister. Technically, Vivian and William didn’t break the whole banister: just a […]
When Your Child Wonders What Age She Can Have a Baby, Ask Facebook
Last week, seven-year-old Vivian was back at it, peppering me with questions about God, sperm banks, and babies. This is why I don’t home school, I thought. From September to June, I can rely on her classmates to give the wrong answer; in July and August, however, it’s up to me. So when Vivian asked […]
10 Examples of Vacation Weirdness
My twins and I tend to spend most of July at my parents’ house in Manitoba. My husband joins us for a week, then hightails it back to Calgary, where he is now. I love being a kid again. And I’m lucky: being at my parents’ house is comfortable and easy. But the first week […]
Lessons From Cyber-Pet Ownership
If you read Monday’s post, you know that when William and Vivian asked for a pet, I lied. It my brand of parenting: say something I’m bound to regret. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson, however, handled this question (and all other questions, I suspect) much better. She even managed to get some cyber-gore. I am incredibly honoured […]
If your kids want a pet, lie
This week’s post-from-the-archives originally appeared in November 2009; it marked only the seventh time I hit publish. Vivian and William, of course, are now 7, and they still talk about getting a pet. They also talk about flying to the moon on a broomstick. My 5-year-old twins desperately want a pet. They’d love a cat, […]