This summer, while spending a month at my parents’ house with William and Vivian, I learned that I’m not as much of a morning person as I think I am. I got used to my mom getting up with my kids and feeding them breakfast. I got used to sleeping in until 8:30.
But that’s not the only thing I learned.
I learned the second verse to this goodnight rhyme, courtesy of my mom:
Don’t let the bedbugs bite.
If they do, just get your shoe
And beat them ’til they’re black and blue.
I wasn’t the only one who learned this. Vivian and William etched it into their long term memories, that place where important things like IKEA’s slogan and every line from Sponge Bob Square Pants remains stored.
Last week, Vivian and William decided to recall this rhyme and riff on it.
Here are some of their Grimm-style adaptations:
Sleep in a shed
Take your head
And beat it till it’s rare as red.
Notes to self: (1) Teach them scansion. (2) Stop preaching to my husband about how I like my steak medium rare; they’ve been listening.
Here’s Vivian and William’s second attempt:
Don’t let the cats bite
If they do, get your mat
And beat them till they have a hat.
That rhyme could medal in the surreal poetry Olympics.
Round 3, which I illustrated with math poetry.
Don’t let the shark bite.
If he does, get your Mark
And beat him till he looks like bark.
Any bad rhymes out there?
Any requests for pictures of hot celebrities I should include in a future post?