This summer, while spending a month at my parents’ house with William and Vivian, I learned that I’m not as much of a morning person as I think I am. I got used to my mom getting up with my kids and feeding them breakfast. I got used to sleeping in until 8:30.
But that’s not the only thing I learned.
I learned the second verse to this goodnight rhyme, courtesy of my mom:
Good night,
Don’t let the bedbugs bite.
If they do, just get your shoe
And beat them ’til they’re black and blue.
I wasn’t the only one who learned this. Vivian and William etched it into their long term memories, that place where important things like IKEA’s slogan and every line from Sponge Bob Square Pants remains stored.
Last week, Vivian and William decided to recall this rhyme and riff on it.
Here are some of their Grimm-style adaptations:
Good night,
Sleep in a shed
Take your head
And beat it till it’s rare as red.
Notes to self: (1) Teach them scansion. (2) Stop preaching to my husband about how I like my steak medium rare; they’ve been listening.
Here’s Vivian and William’s second attempt:
Good night,
Don’t let the cats bite
If they do, get your mat
And beat them till they have a hat.
That rhyme could medal in the surreal poetry Olympics.
Round 3, which I illustrated with math poetry.
Good night
Don’t let the shark bite.
If he does, get your Mark
And beat him till he looks like bark.
Any bad rhymes out there?
Any requests for pictures of hot celebrities I should include in a future post?
Photos (cc) Flickr courtesy of Dullhunk and Carol.Baby
Mark Walberg is good enough for me. I really do believe Mark could beat a shark until it turned to bark.
Thanks for the morning chuckle.
Marky Mark. Bet he could make you bark. 😉
He certainly made ME bark in that underwear ad! I’m just sayin…
My kids would probably rhyme bed with “bed” and shark with “shark”…
So scansion is the least of my worries.
P.S. It is 6:45. If I go back to bed, would your mom make me breakfast?
Probably not, huh.
She probably would. And I think “bed” and “shark” are half rhymes…
Here’s something from my long term memory, which is how we learned the rhyme:
Good night, sleep tight
Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
If they do, bite them back
And they won’t bite tomorrow night.
We always said that too. Laughter always ensued.
I can see why. I’ll try to commit that one to memory. Likely without success.
I wonder who would like to see “Mark” in the dark!
Mom, you always crack. me. up. 😀
The kids have school off. I told them where the cereal is and am going back to bed. I wish I had my mother here.
I think I say that every other day. Even when they’re in school.
As for hot celebrities, you always make good choices. 🙂
Touche…
I can’t think about poetry or rhyme with that photo of Mark Wahlberg staring at me! My mind is completely blank!
Funny how that happens. 😉
Good night
Don’t let the zombies bite
If they do just save Emily Blunt’s life and take her to Canada where it’s so cold that the undead will get frozen to the ground and be easy pickins.
Oh wait, I think I lost focus there. And I’m laughing at what Janice said.
LOL. I love rhymes that don’t. But if your EB was in cold Canada, you’d need a passport. Unless zombies have different security measures…
And yes, Janice is my ironic mom.
I’m impressed that your kids know who Mark Wahlberg is. 🙂 Fun post!
Thanks. I think all kids should know who Marky Mark is. 😉
Hmm, Marky Mark is good, but I think I might need a little Bradley Cooper or Ryan Reynolds. If you don’t mind. I believe Ryan is one of your homies, so maybe you have some in country shots of him you would like to share? Thanks!
Yes, Mr. RR, my home and native land. Yumza. I’ll get on that…
My kids were singing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells . . . ” in the car one night. I got caught up in the moment (and saw an opportunity to teach them the truth about fast food) so I joined in with . . . “Taco Bell, your farts smell, gorditas give you gas, too much beans and special sauce . . . ” I realized the song was headed downhill quickly and cut myself off (there was only one word I knew that rhymed with gas). They still sing the Taco Bell song to this day. The upside, is that they never ask to eat there. Mission accomplished?
I love it: bringing Fast Food Nation to the masses with rhymes. Brilliant.
Don’t make me start singing Lawrence Welk’s Farewell Song again.
Here’s a little math:
Marky-Mark One Teacher = One Lonely Twit
Cuz MM got scared and didn’t like that I was licking his arm in bed. What? He isn’t made of candy? He sure looks sweet to me. *Boo! Hiss!*
Laughing. We’ll have to work on some new math…
So funny! Right now my 6 year old son favors any rhymes that invove body parts and *ahem* poop. Sigh.
Yes. Toilet humour. I think boys grow out of that. At age 72.
Good night
Don’t let the bed bugs bite
And give me your iPod you little liar
I see it there under your pillow
Hilarious. And a sign of my life to come.
Brilliant! I don’t know what I’d do without my little man’s sayings.
True. It’s instant humour…(or instant cringe)
your kids crack me up. And everytime I see Mark I wonder what’s happened to his funky bunch? Really? Where did they go?
I know. And the billboard size.
I always love your posts, Leanne, though they make me fear my future. 🙂
I referenced you in my post tomorrow. And also…WHEN DO I GET THE THINGS??? When you read the post, you’ll see I could have given them a very “wholesome” (not) family vacation this last month!
Ahh. I need to track down the things. Oops. Kind of forgot about them for a bit!
I think all the guys but Clay and me were scared off by Marky Mark’s nekkid appearance.
What kind of site are you running here, Tamara?
No doubt. 😉
And I think you mean Leanne. But I totally get why you call me Tamara when I put a picture of a hot guy up….
I said what I meant, and I meant what I said,
Your post reminded me of Tamara 100%.