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Leanne Shirtliffe

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How To Get Away With Insulting Your Spouse

It was Survival-of-the-Fittest hour in our living room. Dinner was history, the lunches were made, and I had unsuccessfully searched for wine. My husband read in his favourite chair. I pfaffed on my laptop while William built another Lego zombie creation. Vivian hovered, clearly bored. Before long, she enlisted William’s help and got us on […]

Funny Captions from My Life as a Parent

The best thing about having an iPhone is that I get to take bizarre pictures with great frequency. Here are a few from the past week, with captions. MATH: ART: PSYCHOLOGY: SCIENCE: ~ Tell me some recent captions or headlines from your house…

Why Atticus Finch Is Better Than Han Solo

UPDATE: Atticus advanced to the Elite Eight. I won’t be doing any more full posts on voting for him, but I will do “bottom links.” Thanks for voting and for bearing with me.  The good news: Y’all rock. Atticus beat out Belle (Beauty and the Beast) to advance to the Sweet Sixteen of Clay Morgan’s March […]

Twins, The Tooth Fairy, and Confused Parents

With my twins in Grade 2, I didn’t think there was much that could surprise me. In the seven years they’ve been alive, they’ve carved their names into the side of our minivan, put a garden hose down the basement vent (and turned on the water), and shoplifted from two different stores. But just like […]

For Those Who Need a Laugh on Valentine's Day

I’m anti-gush, which makes the saccarine overtones of Valentine’s Day hard for me to stomach. But last Thursday, I got my hair chopped so I’d look slightly more like my avatar. I saw this sign outside my salon. Last Thursday was also the day my humor column appeared in The Calgary Herald. It’s not sappy. Promise. […]

Phrases That Make Every Mother Duck for Cover, Pause, or Drink

Last week, I overheard a few phrases from my twins that made me duck for cover,  pause, or drink. One of these phrases was uttered by William. In a stage whisper, he asked his twin sister, “What’s something I can slingshot?” I closed my laptop and ducked. Last Wednesday, I blogged about another phrase I […]

Headline from My House: Mom Locks Self in Bathroom

So I’m sitting on the floor of the bathroom playing Words with Friends. My spidey senses are tingling, not because I just figured out how to play my Q without a U, but because my twins are up to something. I sense danger. Then I hear it. It’s the unmistakeable sound of flesh on flesh, […]

The Superbowl, Melodrama, and Triple Jump

It’s time for some Triple Jump: to hop, skip and jump to other posts I’ve written this week. Over at NickMom, Nickelodeon’s hilarious humor site, I’ve written this: How Throwing a Kid’s Birthday Party is Like The Superbowl Over at Stuff Kids Write, I’ve posted one of Vivian’s melodramatic notes that simultaneously pulls on my […]

Things I Suck At … Or Not

It’s Search Ironic Mom time, when I take actual search terms that led victims to my blog and attempt to answer their original query. Today’s first search term is below. Dear Ironic Mom: Signed, Annoying Kid Dear Annoying Kid: Thank you for inquiring about “annoying mom habits.” If you have to google this, consider yourself […]

The Story of my Avatar: A Contest

In honour of my 300th post, I thought I’d share the story of my avatar. This photo was taken by Tim Reisdorf, a close family friend, on a cool November day in 2008. I had flown home to Winnipeg for two days – a rare weekend away by myself – to attend Lefse Bootcamp for […]

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