Last week, I overheard a few phrases from my twins that made me duck for cover, pause, or drink.
One of these phrases was uttered by William. In a stage whisper, he asked his twin sister, “What’s something I can slingshot?” I closed my laptop and ducked.
Last Wednesday, I blogged about another phrase I overheard. In reference to me, Vivian bragged to William, “Well that got rid of her.” I paused my Words with Friends game momentarily.
Two days later, I wrote about a question I overheard while making lunches. William asked his dad, “Can we eat Jello like puppy dogs again?” I looked for Baileys in the pantry.
I’m almost afraid of what this week will bring, so I’m asking you to help prepare me.
What are some phrases that we parents should be afraid of overhearing from our children? What phrases indicate that we should raise the white flag and head to the whiter sanatorium?
The comments are yours…
Very, very sweet. You should keep bugs around the place to keep catching this stuff! 🙂
I think my kids would make me go into Witness Protection Program then…
Get some towels.
Yes.
A few days ago my 1yo started screaming and crying. I asked my 3yo what happened and he said “If I tell you, you’re going to give me a time out.” So I suggested he just go put himself in time out. Which he did.
Brilliant!
Where else can we hide the food?
I think I do most of the food hiding in our house…
“Let’s float the titanic in the sink.” Um–a whole lot of water is going to end up on the floor.
Yes, we’ve been there. When we saw water coming through the ceiling vent of the basement bathroom…
By the sound of it, Baileys isn’t going to be strong enough.
You’re right.
Three kids in the bathtub. One of the older ones says, “Let’s hold him under water and see how long he can hold his breath.”
Ahhh!
Here are a few from my house over the years (3 boys):
“We can use this to tie the dinosaur to the ceiling fan.”
“Hey, look! He likes it when I swing him by his overalls.”
“Put more pillows down first, then we’ll jump.”
…then there’s the generic: “Uh-oh!”
Dinosaur on the ceiling fan? Love it!
“Hey, Mom, watch this!”
(I’m not a mom but I’d dread hearing that old chestnut.)
Yes, it makes me think of broken collarbones.
My 3-year-old nephew on Saturday: “Can I play that guitar?”
Awww. Cute. If it’s not my guitar!
There’s a boy who wants to take me out….. in his car.
I am in no way ready for that…
Nobody is
“This is gonna be awesome!” immediately followed by a flushing sound.
I’ve heard “Mom! The toilet’s overflowing” a couple of times this past month.
“So Mom, you’re going to get an email from my teacher today…”
Ouch…
And there’s also the simple, terrifying potential of “Don’t tell Mom.”
Yes. So true.
I don’t remember what set me off with my kids, but I want to duck when I hear my husband say “oh, shoot.”
I’m thinking nail gun. Evidence in the ceiling?
Thank God for dimming eyesight!
I get worried when I overhear my boys saying, “You tell her.” “No, you tell her.” “No, you tell her.” “Maybe she won’t notice.” 🙂
Yes. That would drive me to search for Baileys. Or pretend they’re not my kids.
When it’s eerily quiet, and I know my 3 yo daughter is in another room, I call out “Whatcha doing Sweet Girl?” The response I dread is “Nothing Mamma!”
Yes. So true…
LOL such a sweet and cute post!…
my baby brother who is 13 now, was asked to broom the kitchen and he goes ‘ME!?’ ..he is spoiled like that lol
Makes me wish I had a younger brother!
The twins aren’t the greatest of talkers..yet. At this point, the silence is what terrifies me. At least, if they’re babbling, they aren’t stealthily slipping into the closet and unrolling all twelve rolls of toilet paper…
Silence. Yes. And toilet paper. Vivian was especially talented with emptying tissue boxes when she was a baby.
“I told you it was a bad idea.”
I cannot confirm or deny that I ever said this to my brother (or heard it from him, for that matter.)
Something tells me you had a mischievous streak in you as a kid, Leigh…
“Oh, go on. I promise the parachute will open” caused my brother’s broken arm.
Ouch! (But I’m laughing!)
Girl: Mommy loves this (motioning to a bottle of beer)
Boy: No, daddy drinks that. Mommy loves this (holds up a wine bottle)
Girl: Oh, right. She REALLY loves that.
Me: Girl, hand it over. Boy, get me a glass.
And if we lived across the street…
Lori: And go invite Leanne over. Tell her there’s a glass waiting.
“Where’s the vacuum?”
Indeed.
As we were heading into Costco, my 11 year old asked if this was the store that gives out examples…… I’m pretty sure he meant samples…. maybe
I love that.
My kids are just starting to get funny, but it’s not funny how often my six year old drops his pants and says ‘smell my bum’. I do hope he doesn’t do that at school 🙂
Ha! The things you do as a parent that seem normal…
In my house the real problem was silence. Silence meant that something bad happened, or -more frequently- was about to happen. Things you may not wanna hear from two kids are a challenging “Yes I can!” and (knowing how plotting your twins are) a doubtful “Should we tell them?”
Ugh. That phrase would age me ten years. I think it already has!
My hands are nice and clean! (because this means they were just splashing in the dog water….) usually while I’m on the toilet.