It’s no secret that I’m terrible at crafts. Basically, I don’t even try. My husband likes to remind me that I have the finger dexterity of Kermit the Frog. So what’s the logical thing to do when a Breakfast TV producer asks if you can do a four-minute demo of four activities that kids can […]
parenting
Want to Guest Post for Me?
UPDATE: I’m now booking guest posts into the second half of 2013. See below if interested! RAMBLING and PREAMBLING When I turned on my laptop this morning, I was greeted by this notice: It’s a bit like being pregnant: I’m not sure if 100 days is long or short. It’s roughly equivalent to one trimester […]
Whiteboard Wednesday: The Taste Bud Edition
We’re eating dinner, which consists of sausages baked in the oven because our barbecue is buried under snow. These aren’t the usual sausages we cook, the ones that come wrapped tightly in industrial plastic from a supermarket the size of Saskatchewan. These are from-a-butcher sausages, which means they have flavour. William inhales his ketchup with […]
How My Son Views Me (Cheers!)
Saturday morning means sleeping in, reading the paper, and revelling in the rays of laziness. Unless your son has music lessons at 8:45 a.m. I sit in the music studio, editing my humour manuscript for the 16th time. It’s ceased to be funny. Will’s private lesson ends, mere minutes before Vivian’s parented music lesson begins. Will’s […]
The Hobbit, Teens, and Ladies of the Night
My eighth graders had just finished studying The Hobbit. We’d followed Bilbo’s epic journey, we’d watched Peter Jackson’s awesome production vlogs, the girls had declared Kili the Dwarf “hot.” [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOGsB9dORBg] Twenty minutes remained in this particular class. “Let’s find our Hobbit names,” I said. I opened my laptop to a hobbit name generator site, got […]
The Elf on the Shelf…and Hate Mail
If you don’t know what the Elf on the Shelf is, you’re missing out on one of the self-publishing miracles of the decade. At the request of CBC Radio, I weighed in on this toy. Not surprisingly, I situated myself in the Grinch-y corner. Here’s the link to my five-minute radio spot that I did […]
When You Forget the Names of Things, Laugh.
It’s Sunday night dinner. We’re having pasta, one of those meals I can cook providing there’s a jar of pesto in the pantry. I haven’t spoken to an adult all day and have rarely spoken to a child, since Vivian is ill and William is in Lego-building mode. I’m struggling with words, and my husband […]
How Dinosaurs Trash Talk
My eight-year-old twins know how to trash talk. I blame their father, the man also known as my husband. So far, our kids only trash talk when they’re in character, most recently as plastic toy dinosaurs who were having a Jurassic showdown. William held Stegosaurus; Vivian gripped Allosaurus. They bashed them together and trash talked. […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Noisy Award
Well, we’ve made it to the final award in my list of The Worst Toys of 2012. The final presentation is The Noisy Award. This award goes to the toy a parent is most likely to (a) yank the batteries out on Boxing Day, (b) drive over it with a zamboni on New Year’s, or […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Surrogate Parent Award
Welcome to the third installment of the Worst Toys of 2012. So far, we’ve given out the “Call 911” Award and the Skankification Award. Today, it’s time for the Surrogate Parent Award. The Surrogate Parent Award goes to the toy that is designed to entertain your child for the length of time it would take […]