• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Leanne Shirtliffe

Poetry | Humour | Picture Books

  • Poetry
  • Humour
    • Don’t Lick The Minivan
    • Mommyfesto
    • Ironic Mom Blog Archive
      • Search
      • Start Here
      • Finding Humor Everywhere
      • Hilarious Family Moments
      • Un-Ironic Moments
      • Wild Gen X Tales
      • Full Archives
  • Picture Books
    • Sloth to the Rescue
    • I Love Sharks, Too!
    • Saving Thunder the Great
    • No More Beige Food
    • The Change Your Name Store
    • Guides/Activities
  • About
  • Contact
    • General Inquiries

The Hobbit, Teens, and Ladies of the Night

My eighth graders had just finished studying The Hobbit. We’d followed Bilbo’s epic journey, we’d watched Peter Jackson’s awesome production vlogs, the girls had declared Kili the Dwarf “hot.”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOGsB9dORBg]

Twenty minutes remained in this particular class.

“Let’s find our Hobbit names,” I said.

I opened my laptop to a hobbit name generator site, got out some coloured paper, and showed them mine.

Hobbit Names Mine
Just call me Ironic Dimples.

I turned the activity over to the students. The bulletin board started filling up.

Then a student pointed to one of the names and announced, “That one sounds like a Hobbit hooker.”

Hobbit Hookers

I doubled over laughing.

You gotta love teens.

What’s your hobbit name?
Or, if you prefer, what’s your wizard/dwarf/elf name?
Will you go see the movie, which opens today?

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: books, education, hobbit, movies, parenting, teaching

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tori Nelson says

    December 14, 2012 at 5:08 am

    I was kind of hoping for a sexy Hobbit hooker name. I got Naeniver Maggot of Fair Downs. Bleh.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:13 am

      Maybe we can call you Nonny for short…

      Reply
  2. jnine0712 says

    December 14, 2012 at 5:12 am

    As an ex-middle school teacher, that totally sounds about right. The things I heard on a daily basis were total blog fonder!! Great post and loved it!!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:14 am

      Yes. My young teens love trying out their adult senses of humour. Love it.

      Reply
  3. Heather says

    December 14, 2012 at 6:07 am

    Oh man..I wish I had you for my 8th great English teacher. I think then I would of passed the first time…LOL I laugh when I got my Hobbit name: Prisca Toadfoot.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:15 am

      Thanks. Great hobbit name!

      Reply
  4. Gloria Richard Author says

    December 14, 2012 at 7:39 am

    SKA-WEEEET! I’ve been pondering options for a pen name. When I use my maiden name, I’m Belladonna Doffin of Needlehole. With my married name I’m Belladonna Brambleburr of Bindale Wood.

    Belladonna is a bit presumptive. So, I’ll stick with my original notion of Cadence for my first name. Perhaps Cadence Brambleburr for blog comments, and Cadence Needlehole for my WIPs. Although, that is a bit off-putting for the Romance genre. I may save that one for the MG series.

    This was too fun. I’ll bet your students love you, Leanne Dimples.

    Reply
    • zkullis says

      December 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

      You can lose the Belladonna name, but I think you should stick with Doffin of Needlehole. It’s hilarious!

      Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:15 am

      Dimples. Sigh. I sound like I run the local strip joint.

      Needlehole kills me.

      Reply
  5. The Hook says

    December 14, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Yes, teens are almost as interesting as kids. You’ll never run out of material, Leanne!

    Reply
  6. susielindau says

    December 14, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Dancing Ligot of Mudwater Poole.
    Too funny Leanne!
    Hey! You won my contest! Woohoo! …dances around room….

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:16 am

      Squee! I’ve had a good winning week, but this is my first receive-in-mail gift!

      Reply
      • susielindau says

        December 16, 2012 at 10:30 am

        Woohoo! It is on its way!

        Reply
  7. Paige Roper Norman says

    December 14, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Okay, I have discovered my Elvish and Hobbit names. It didn’t make me understand the entire LOTR/Hobbit *thing* any better. I’m happy for you all, I just.don’t.get.it.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:18 am

      I didn’t get it for the longest time either. My ex-fiance was a Tolkien nut. It’s like Dungeons and Dragons in book form. And they do translate well to the big screen.

      Reply
      • Matthew Wright says

        December 19, 2012 at 10:06 pm

        It’s exactly like D&D in book form! Apparently, back when D&D was a dice-with-lookup game played around a table, the Tolkien estate sued TSR for copyright over aspects of D&D which had been pretty obviously derived. I couldn’t see why, it looked totally different to me. I mean, Tolkien’s elves were immortal with pointy ears whereas the D&D elves had pointy ears and lived for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years. Totally different!

        Reply
  8. Annie says

    December 14, 2012 at 9:07 am

    Mine is Daisy Brockhouse of Loamsdown. Looks like we are related!
    My kids are going to love this…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:19 am

      Excellent. We can hire a hobbitsitter and tear up the Shire! Or at least Loamsdown.

      Reply
  9. Chase McFadden says

    December 14, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Grigory Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern.

    I’d be a shoe-in for a temp position at Hickory Farms.

    Reply
    • Clay Morgan (@MorganUndead) says

      December 15, 2012 at 7:40 am

      We come from the same Shire Chase! For I am Podo Hamwich of Buckleberry Fern. We are Hobbit bros.

      Reply
      • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

        December 16, 2012 at 10:19 am

        Uh oh. The Shire just got way noisier.

        Reply
  10. Bill says

    December 14, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Speaking as Todo Danderfluff, I have to say that this is the coolest name generator I’ve seen in a while. My Elvish name is a jawbreaker: Maeglin Tulcakelumae. (the “ae” is supposed to be an umlaut “E” but the editor here won’t allow ALT-137 as a character).

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Those darn umlauts. Sorry about that, Todo!

      Reply
  11. Ricky Anderson says

    December 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Samwise Knotwise of Michel Delving

    I want a refund.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      Your dwarf name is Rurin son of Vorin. Better?

      Reply
  12. zkullis says

    December 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    Fun stuff!
    My hobbit name is Meriadoc Tighfield of Tookbank. (sounds like a hobbit banker)
    Myelvish name is Elros Lúinwë. I think I’ll stick with that one.

    I’m too busy to catch the movie today, or tomorrow for that matter, but I will be watching at some point in the near future. Fun post Dimples!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:21 am

      Elros! You’re our rockstar musician. And those elves know how to party into the night.

      Reply
      • zkullis says

        December 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

        😀 I have to tell you, I’m much more fond of Elros than Meriadoc. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be an all-night elvish rockstar?

        Reply
  13. sassymama23 says

    December 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Primula Toadfoot of Frogmorton… Not so sure about this one… Ha! Great post… your students are lucky kids for sure!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:22 am

      Primula. Could it be your more serious side?

      Reply
  14. earthriderjudyberman says

    December 15, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Hysterical. Never underestimate the ability of teens and pre-teens to say the most unexpected things and laugh-out-loud moments.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:22 am

      Yes. I do adore them.

      Reply
  15. Jeff says

    December 15, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Pimpernel Bulge of Great Smials. Not sure how I feel about that. I will see this movie.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 16, 2012 at 10:23 am

      Mr. Bulge. These jokes write themselves.

      Reply
  16. Jan Moyer says

    December 16, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Myrtle Gamwich of the Bree Gamwiches
    Myrtle. Myrtle! Myrtle? Guess I’m a senior citizen hobbit. Must go eat some chocolate now.

    Reply
  17. serre says

    December 17, 2012 at 3:32 am

    Mine is “Ruby Goldworthy of Michel Delving”.
    Mumble.
    By the way, my latest D&D character (YES) is an halfling (same as a hobbit, more or less), and she’s so annoying that the other members of the company call her aftin. Like the aft, you know.
    Do I have to point out that i’ll go to see the movie as soon as i can? 🙂

    Reply
  18. Andy says

    December 17, 2012 at 5:25 am

    With my Peter Pan’ish ideas of never growing up I decided to look for my Elfen name…..Meroryan the Fair. I’m so Fair. Do you think Fair means the same in Elfen as ‘average’ does in human?

    Reply
  19. Howlin' Mad Heather says

    December 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    I don’t know if there are any female wizards, but I would like to be Proserpine the Purple. Just for the alliteration.

    Reply
  20. Carrie (@MildlyMedicated) says

    December 18, 2012 at 7:42 am

    I am going elven here with Idril Melwasúl… Again, love the blog and hope my kids have a cool teacher that allows them to explore reading, not to mention characters so personally!

    Reply
  21. Matthew Wright says

    December 19, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Angrod Lissësúl here (a tad better than Gorbulas Toadfoot). Actually, no it isn’t. They filmed this movie where I live, but nary a sign of it did we see, unlike The Lord Of The Rings which was right “out there” in public…

    Reply
  22. renée a. schuls-jacobson says

    December 28, 2012 at 6:17 am

    What a hoot! How did I miss this? I guess I’m Jewish in The Hobbit, too. As I was Goldie Brandybuck of Buckland. I think I’m a matchmaker there, too. Hooking up Hobbits, right and left.

    I live that you did this with your students! What a great idea!

    Reply
  23. Duane Sweetser says

    February 17, 2013 at 10:26 am

    I consider Lord of the Rings to be among the finest cinematic achievements in motion picture history. As for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the closest approximation is The Phantom Menace. I liked The Phantom Menace back in May 1999 and I still do (in defense of… ). But I now know exactly how those who disliked or hated Episode One felt on that fateful evening 12.5 years ago. I feel your pain, for now it is my pain as well.”

    My own web portal
    <'http://www.healthmedicinelab.com/warts-on-feet/

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

© 2005–2023 · Leanne Shirtliffe / Ironic Mom ·