Welcome to the second instalment of the Worst Toys of 2012. Yesterday, I awarded The Skankification Award to Ari Roma, one of the smutty sisters of the Novi Stars doll family. Today, I’m giving out the “Call 9-1-1″ Award. The criteria of the “Call 9-1-1” Award are simple: If there’s a chance my twins would […]
parenting
How To Cheat on Home Reading
My eight-year-old son has been cheating on his home reading. How is that possible? you might ask. Well, he’s been yelling “blah-blah-blah” instead of recording the online book into the computer like he’s supposed to. How is it possible that he’s been doing this for six weeks and you never noticed? you might ask. Well, […]
A Third Grader's Insight Into Motherhood
I painted my daughter’s nails the other night. In our house, this is known as an “event.” Picture eight-year-old Vivian with her hands in a kitchen sink filled with cold water, attempting to set the polish so it might last more than twenty minutes. “Mom,” Vivian said, “I need to throw out my gum.” The […]
How To Get Away With Insulting Your Spouse
It was Survival-of-the-Fittest hour in our living room. Dinner was history, the lunches were made, and I had unsuccessfully searched for wine. My husband read in his favourite chair. I pfaffed on my laptop while William built another Lego zombie creation. Vivian hovered, clearly bored. Before long, she enlisted William’s help and got us on […]
A Drawn Mommy
Vivian took the opportunity to sketch me the other evening. It was a hot night, and I was wearing a tank top, something rare in Calgary after the fall equinox. I sat still as she walked over to me, repositioned my chin, and went back to her sketch pad. Frida Kahlo was in da house. […]
Moments With My 8-Year-Old Son
William, now 8, is still every bit the same boy he was at 7. On Tuesday, his birthday, he hopped on the bathroom scale to see if he was indeed bigger. He was. This weekend, he showed us more behaviour that revealed he is my same-but-bigger son. On Friday morning, he was angry because I […]
I am the DH (Part 2 of Too Many or Not Enough)
Earlier in May, I opened up the comments to you, inviting you to ask my dear husband (DH) any questions. Here is Part 2 (of 4). Part 1 is over here. First of all I would like to say how pleased I am to have been forced into conversing on the blogosphere AGAIN with all of […]
There Goes That Parent-of-the-Year Nomination
Here’s a new edition of Did-I-Really-Say-That-Aloud? Sunday afternoon William is watching an animal show on TV, learning more facts about aardvarks than any 7-year-old should know. I am in the time-out chair reading a book. This is minute three of quiet time. “Mom,” Vivian says. “I need some attention.” “Seriously? I’ve spent all day with […]
How To Use Math To Evaluate Your Week
It’s time to play “by the numbers,” an equation of types for reviewing your week. This is a fancy way of saying that Math + blogging = quick post. Much like tired mom + tired kids = someone locks themselves in the bathroom and sobs. Here, then, is my week by the numbers. 15: Times I yelled, […]
I am the DH (Part 1 of Too Many or Not Enough)
Last week, I opened up the comments to you, inviting you to ask my dear husband (DH) any questions. Here is Part 1. First of all I would like to say how pleased I am to have been forced into conversing on the blogosphere with all of you teenagers, stalkers, shut-ins, and unabombers. When IronicWife […]