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How To Get Away With Insulting Your Spouse

It was Survival-of-the-Fittest hour in our living room. Dinner was history, the lunches were made, and I had unsuccessfully searched for wine.

My husband read in his favourite chair. I pfaffed on my laptop while William built another Lego zombie creation. Vivian hovered, clearly bored.

Before long, she enlisted William’s help and got us on board. Tonight’s game? A Q-and-A session brought to you by the letter “O”. One person peppered another with random questions; the victim had to answer everything with the long “O” sound.

Vivian and William started. I tried it. Then my husband put down his book.

“My turn to answer,” he said.

Vivian and William drilled him with questions. My dear husband (DH) fielded them better than a Major League player at a press conference.

This is how it went down:

VW: What’s your favourite season?

DH : Snow.

VW: Do you love your kids?

DH: Yo, yo.

VW: How are you feeling today?

DH: So so.

VW: What’s your favourite country?

DH: Burkina Faso

What’s your favourite sports team?

DH: Toronto.

VW: What’s Mommy’s name?

DH: She’s a ho.

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t referencing Santa.

One final confession: there were no more long “O”s (or short “O”s) that evening.

Fo’ sho’.

Your turn:
What are you plans for the weekend?
Please use the long “O” sound sound somewhere in your answer.

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: funny, humor, mom, parenting

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Earth2Body Sisters says

    October 12, 2012 at 6:01 am

    I will GO to meet my sister at a HOtel. 😉

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:38 pm

      Enjoy your time with you sis. I wish I could meet mine. She’s 800 miles away.

      Reply
  2. serre says

    October 12, 2012 at 6:14 am

    Soooooooooooooofa.

    Reply
  3. Julie Frayn says

    October 12, 2012 at 7:01 am

    Pfaff? Isn’t that a brand of sewing machine?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:38 pm

      Ha. It’s my favourite British word. Well, next to knackered and knickers and stroppy.

      Reply
  4. Gloria Richard Author says

    October 12, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I wOn’t gO to the party hOsted in a hOtel ballroom If my Spanx hOse dOn’t fix my HO-ho look. Twinkies? OK. HO-HO’s? NO way.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      Gloria, you never fail to crack me up!

      Reply
  5. susielindau says

    October 12, 2012 at 9:02 am

    We are gOnna gO to CaliforniO!

    Reply
  6. Woman in the MiddleKim says

    October 12, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I think the title of your pOst was incorrect. It does not sound to me like a certain husband got away with insulting his spouse….

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      True enough. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Marlene says

    October 12, 2012 at 11:46 am

    GO SlOw!

    Reply
  8. hiddinsight says

    October 12, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    HOlarious:)

    Reply
  9. Sara no "H" says

    October 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Be a Wino 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:37 pm

      Cheers!

      Reply
  10. balancinggal says

    October 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Lovvvveee this. Need to try that game!

    Reply
  11. skippingstones says

    October 12, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    I bet there wasn’t anything else to be had that night either, haha.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:37 pm

      Ha. Well, there was sleep…

      Reply
  12. cooper says

    October 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    drink ’till I glow

    Reply
  13. Kim says

    October 13, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    I even made my husband read this pOst, I thought it was sO funny. He’s still laughing while telling me that, nO, he doesn’t think it’s funny at all… “thOugh” I did have to explain the long O, short o, comment at the end. At least the way I understand it. Hmmmm…. Cheers.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 13, 2012 at 10:36 pm

      Trust me, Kim. You got it. 🙂

      Reply
  14. earthriderjudyberman says

    October 13, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Thanks for the laugh, Leanne. Some hubbies would be his-tor-i-o if they gave the same response. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Ricky Anderson says

    October 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    The fact that you can laugh about it and then write about it tells me one of two things:

    1. DH is so awesome he can get away with anything.
    or
    2. DH is set for life but you can’t touch the money if he doesn’t die of natural causes.

    Reply
  16. hochzeitkleider says

    October 15, 2012 at 2:17 am

    would love to try this~~~
    : )

    Reply
  17. The Hook says

    October 16, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Hilarious!

    Reply

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