Over a decade ago, when I first saw my not-yet-husband interact with his five-year-old nephew, they were playing “I love you more than.” The game pingponged back and forth, each analogy wilder and crazier than the last. When my husband said, “I love you more than a lake full of Pepsi,” the game was over. […]
parenting
Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom
My humor column today in The Calgary Herald begins like this: If you want to know how to ruin Mother’s Day, ask my husband. He was born on Mother’s Day. This year, his birthday once again falls on Sunday, and in the reality game of celebrations, birthdays trump pushing a kid (or two) out your […]
10 Bizarre Updates from the Past 10 Days
If you want a slice of my (psycho) life, here are 10 updates I posted on Twitter or my Facebook page over the past 10 days. Update 1: William vs. Hole ~ Update 2: God vs. The Fire Alarm ~ Update 3: Vivian vs. iPhone ~ Update 4: Me vs. Housework ~ Update 5: Me […]
Humour Column: Trying Not To Glue Gun Kids Together
When I was on my Spring Break, I volunteered two mornings in both Vivian and William’s Grade 2 classroom. I had to do a craft. I happen to despise crafts. I can mess them up easily. Those two mornings in a primary classroom were the subject of my latest humor column in The Calgary Herald. […]
How Many Parents Does It Take To…
Sometimes I get what I deserve. Like on Monday. I’d returned home from a full day of teaching teenagers on five lousy hours of sleep. I had my snark on. So when Vivian and William started telling freestyle jokes, I joined in. I glanced at my husband who was breathing, reason enough to make him […]
A Parenting Dictionary: 5 British Words We Need To Adopt
This is a post based on one I published in March 2010, when not even my mom read my blog. Enjoy. ~ Sometimes I think North American English is limited, especially when it comes to parenting. So, since I can’t borrow Colin Firth, I’m suggesting we adopt more British words. Let’s face it, English, the language […]
When You Take Your Twins To Church…
I’m guest posting for my fab and sassy blog-sistah, Tamara Lunardo. Tamara is an amazing woman who writes beautifully about edgy issues, including sex, faith, and abuse. She’ll make you think. She’ll make you laugh. She also has twins and loves a juicy double entendre; I don’t think it’s cause and effect. Today, I’m honoured […]
Thing 1 & Thing 2 Wreak Mayhem (on TV) in England
After the stop on their European tour in Zurich with Evelynn Starr, Thing 1 and Thing 2 continued on their overseas tour this past month. They were hosted by the amazing Myfanwy, who adopted them and wrote thirteen entertaining posts about the mayhem they caused. Myfanwy lives in Fleet, Hampshire which is southwest of London. Let […]
Laughing about Sex After Kids
Trying to make time to see The Hunger Games with my husband reminds me of trying to get pregnant. First, he’s involved. Second, there’s an ovulation-like time crunch: I want to see the movie by Monday, the end of Spring Break. Third, all my friends seem to have done it already. Fourth, it’s something we’d normally […]
Funny Captions from My Life as a Parent
The best thing about having an iPhone is that I get to take bizarre pictures with great frequency. Here are a few from the past week, with captions. MATH: ART: PSYCHOLOGY: SCIENCE: ~ Tell me some recent captions or headlines from your house…