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The Worst Toys of 2012: The Noisy Award

Well, we’ve made it to the final award in my list of The Worst Toys of 2012.

The final presentation is The Noisy Award. This award goes to the toy a parent is most likely to (a) yank the batteries out on Boxing Day, (b) drive over it with a zamboni on New Year’s, or (c) re-gift it to a niece or nephew who lives across the country come spring.

Without further ado, I present this year’s Noisy Award to the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse.

Five reasons why the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse should be destroyed:

  1. It’s way too easy to operate. I imagine it would start playing the moment you shoved it into your toy box or frisbee-d it over your fence.
  2. It has many pre-recorded Minnie Mouse songs that will make you wish for a quick death.
  3. It has voice effects which lets your child transform her voice to sound like Minnie Mouse and record it. Clearly we need more girls who sound like airheads.
  4. Two reviewers (out of two) complained that the microphone broke within two weeks. Cynical me thinks both sets of parents purposely yanked out the microphone.
  5. The Sing and Stroll Musical Purse has an applause button. Because we need to reward girls when they sound like airheads.

Still not convinced? Play this sound bite. It’s twenty-eight seconds of pure helium hell.

Now it’s your turn. How would you recommend parents destroy the Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse?

Filed Under: Worst Toy List Tagged With: bad toys, funny mom, humor, parenting, toy review, Worst toys

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. jnine0712 says

    November 30, 2012 at 5:08 am

    My kids would love this, but me not so much. Thanks seriously for sharing and will make sure to keep this one far away from their eyes (out of sight of out mind!).

    Reply
  2. Howlin' Mad Heather says

    November 30, 2012 at 6:27 am

    “When I was your age I had a cardboard box and fabric scraps, and I had to make all the sound effects myself. And I liked it.”

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      And you could hide…

      Reply
  3. renée a. schuls-jacobson says

    November 30, 2012 at 6:35 am

    Holy crap. That sounds like my SIL on lithium. I have to listen to that. Often. And if I ever dared to say or do anything, I’d spend the rest of my days in the slammer.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      Oh my. There’s family stress taken to a new level.

      Reply
  4. Liz McLennan says

    November 30, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Why, why, WHY did I click that sound-bite link? I think my ears are bleeding. Reminds me of a toy the Reds got last year: it’s a garbage truck thing that comes to life and chomps and makes garbage truck noises. The worst part is, the ‘OFF’ button in INSIDE the stupid thing, past the batteries and all. The best part? One day, the kids put it next to Mark’s side of the bed and make it chomp and groan. Mark shot up out of dead sleep, hollering, “CRAP! It’s garbage day! Quick, hold the truck!” while the Reds and I simply fell apart laughing.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      Bwahaha. That was more than worth the price, I bet.

      Reply
  5. Liz McLennan says

    November 30, 2012 at 7:06 am

    I reckon you oughta toss that Minnie into garbage truck next garbage day. Bribe the drivers with Tim Hortons coffee…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      Brilliant.

      Reply
  6. Julie Glover says

    November 30, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Gallagher’s hammer is too good for this purse! You need Michael Palin (from A Fish Called Wanda) driving a steamroller over Minnie as she says, “Bye-bye now!”

    The noisiest toy we ever had was a sword that buzzed and clanged. I swear that the battery in my camera goes out after a day, but the batteries from noisy kids’ toys last a lifetime!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      Yes. Palin!

      Reply
  7. susielindau says

    November 30, 2012 at 7:50 am

    I am an Etch-a-Sketch and Play-doh girl myself! I think they should charge these companies extra for the cost of putting them in the landfill.

    Reply
  8. Our Life In 3D says

    November 30, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I’m with Susie! Etch a Sketch and the (silent) Princess Castle. I know its not about me but I hate noisey toys the most. The horse that has to make the loud galloping noises. I have a particular sister-in-law that loves to torment me by sending our kids these noisey toys. They are always the first to be ‘misplaced’.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      Can you say “regift”? I loved Etch-a-Sketch, though the only thing I could draw were lines.

      Reply
  9. dirtyrottenparenting says

    November 30, 2012 at 10:14 am

    If I wasn’t afraid of being poisoned by the fumes, I’d toss it on the fire and sing Christmas carols until it burned away.

    Reply
    • serre says

      December 1, 2012 at 1:29 pm

      Ahah sorry I didn’t read your reply til now! Good choice 🙂

      Reply
  10. serre says

    December 1, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Fire. A good parent should throw it in the fireplace. If cartoons are right, the high pitched Minnie voice should sound like Barry White during the purse last seconds. That should set things right…. right? Uhm.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      December 2, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      Haha!

      Reply
  11. Jenny says

    December 4, 2012 at 7:58 am

    These toys are made for one reason only – payback. I so want to buy this for my niece – payback time with annoying noisy toys to her parents!

    Reply
  12. JasmineKyleSings says

    December 4, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    HA HA HA Helium hell!

    Reply
  13. demoncat4 says

    December 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    the best way to destroy the disney toy of hell would be to either take it to the garage and back over it with the car or make it have an unfortunate accient with some lighter fluid and some matches on the grill.

    Reply

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