Well, we’ve made it to the final award in my list of The Worst Toys of 2012. The final presentation is The Noisy Award. This award goes to the toy a parent is most likely to (a) yank the batteries out on Boxing Day, (b) drive over it with a zamboni on New Year’s, or […]
toy review
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Gullible Award
Welcome to the 7th installment of the Worst Toys of 2012. Today, I bring you The Gullible Award. This award honors the shrewdness of marketers and “dishonors” those of us who buy the item. Without further delay, then, the 2012 Gullible Award goes to The Logo Board Game. Here are 5 reasons why the Logo […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Child-in-Tears Award
Welcome to the 6th installment of the Worst Toys of 2012. Today, I am bringing you the Child-in-Tears Award. This prestigious honor goes to the toy that is most likely to solicit some good sobs, not unlike the time I gifted a bouncy cobra in a wicker basket to my seven-year-old nephew. After he leaped […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Plastification Award
Welcome to the 5th installment of the Worst Toys of 2012. If you missed the previous “winners,” please check out the following: The Skankification Award The “Call 911” Award The Surrogate Parent Award The What-Is-It Award Today, I am giving out the Plastification Award. The Plastification Award is given to a toy that uses a […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The What-Is-It Award
Welcome to the fourth installment in the series of the Worst Toys of 2012. If you missed the first three, check out the Laugh & Learn Apptivity Monkey, the Razor E100 Electric Scooter, and Ari Roma, the Novi Star prostitute doll. Today, I am giving out the What-Is-It Award. This honor goes to a toy that is […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Call 9-1-1 Award
Welcome to the second instalment of the Worst Toys of 2012. Yesterday, I awarded The Skankification Award to Ari Roma, one of the smutty sisters of the Novi Stars doll family. Today, I’m giving out the “Call 9-1-1″ Award. The criteria of the “Call 9-1-1” Award are simple: If there’s a chance my twins would […]
The Worst Toys of 2012: The Skankification Award
Welcome to my third-annual list of the Worst Toys of the Year. Why create a list of toys that suck? Because shopping makes me want to bang my empty-cart-that-can’t-steer into other people’s full carts Because cheap, loud toys make me want to hammer-throw them off my back deck Because writing something funny is more therapeutic […]