• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Leanne Shirtliffe

Poetry | Humour | Picture Books

  • Poetry
  • Humour
    • Don’t Lick The Minivan
    • Mommyfesto
    • Ironic Mom Blog Archive
      • Search
      • Start Here
      • Finding Humor Everywhere
      • Hilarious Family Moments
      • Un-Ironic Moments
      • Wild Gen X Tales
      • Full Archives
  • Picture Books
    • Sloth to the Rescue
    • I Love Sharks, Too!
    • Saving Thunder the Great
    • No More Beige Food
    • The Change Your Name Store
    • Guides/Activities
  • About
  • Contact
    • General Inquiries

Happy Thanksgiving, eh?

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. Because we follow the metric system, our holiday comes earlier than our American neighbo(u)rs. The metric system also explains why Canada is colder than the US, why the Flames will beat the Penguins on Saturday night, and why Justin Bieber’s career will be over in 2016.

If you want to read my Thanksgiving humour column that ran in the Calgary Herald yesterday, here it is:

FIVE THINGS AN EXHAUSTED MOM IS THANKFUL FOR

In Canada, we don’t really equate Thanksgiving with shopping, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that there’s a coupon from Buytopia where you can get 50% offย  at Staples. (Staples, incidentally, is the store William and Vivian shoplifted from at age 5. I frog-marched them back in and they each pulled out 5 crazy pens from their pockets and their underwear. The full story will be in my book). Anyway, if you have a pen obsession like me or my kids, click here for the coupon; it’s safer than shoplifting. And almost cheaper.

Finally, if you are inclined to leave a comment, I want to know:

what crazy things are you thankful for? what’s your office store obsession? what can you blame the metric system for?

Happy Thanksgiving, eh?!

Filed Under: On the Move Tagged With: Calgary Herald, children, funny mom blog, humor, Ironic Mom, kids, Leanne Shirtliffe, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. randomlychad says

    October 7, 2011 at 9:39 am

    I’m so lame! Here I’d always thought upper Canuckistan was colder because of it’s latitude, but here you are telling me it’s due to the metric system? Wow! Had no idea. Thanks for schooling me, Mrs. Shirtliffe! Now I know! And knowing is half the power!
    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      No problem. You can also blame Arizona’s latest heatwave on the US not being metric.

      Reply
  2. mairedubhtx says

    October 7, 2011 at 10:39 am

    My office obsession is pens. I love pens. I love all the different colors of markers. It really is an obsession.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:13 pm

      I hear you. I’ve been known to tear apart our house looking for my Uniball Deluxe Micro. Black, of course.

      Reply
  3. Catherine Johnson says

    October 7, 2011 at 11:15 am

    That’s so funny! Have a great Thanksgiving!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:13 pm

      Thanks, Catherine.

      Reply
  4. Joy @ Joy In This Journey says

    October 7, 2011 at 11:38 am

    I bet y’all actually celebrate Thanksgiving as Thanksgiving, rather than the pre-game show for Christmas. Let’s see — can we blame the metric system for global warming, stupid politicians, and plantar warts? I say yes.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    P.S. I wish we would adopt metric. It just makes more sense.

    Reply
  5. Joy @ Joy In This Journey says

    October 7, 2011 at 11:39 am

    Oh, office store obsession? Post-its and notebooks. I love love love notebooks and journals.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:15 pm

      I do like the metric system. I actually wish our paper was metric too (we follow the US on paper). A4 is so much more logical than 8.5 x 11.

      And moleskines. I love me some moleskines with sewn bindings. The only thing that connects me to Hemingway.

      Reply
  6. EllieAnn says

    October 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    I blame the metric system for Canadians believing they are better than US’ers. Just because you have a better system of measurement doesn’t mean you are better at everything. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      ๐Ÿ™‚ We just have the short-guy syndrome… gotta flaunt what we have due to the big guy nearby.

      Reply
  7. chase mcfadden says

    October 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    That’s the best pic. Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:16 pm

      Thanks, Chase. All the best to you, KAW, and kids this weekend too.

      Reply
  8. educlaytion says

    October 7, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    Canadians are so silly. Thanksgiving in October. What a riot. And don’t talk to me about metric. I can barely grasp the American system. Does the American system even have a name? What’s the opposite of metric? I could look it up on Wiki but I don’t care about math that much. I remember Mrs. Smith saying something about the metric system when I was 5th grade but I was staring at girls and trying to decide if I liked Ang, Lynn, or Christa more. And I didn’t measure them in metric.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:18 pm

      We call the US System the Imperial System, which seems a bit ironic with the American Revolution and all that.

      So…if I follow your logic, Americans can’t go metric because the men would be way too distracted.

      Reply
      • educlaytion says

        October 8, 2011 at 7:20 pm

        Sounds about right to me.

        Reply
  9. The Good Greatsby says

    October 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    I think the metric system would finally take off in the States if you also converted age and it ended up giving us a smaller number so we felt younger, similar to how I prefer thinking of weight in kilos because it makes me feel much thinner.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm

      Yes. And you’re so much taller when you measure in centimetres too.

      Reply
  10. JM Randolph says

    October 7, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Love the picture! I am thankful for blogs that make me laugh, like yours. I don’t blame the metric system for anything, but I do blame Canada for a lot, whenever it’s convenient. Which is often. Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm

      We can take the blame. Thanks for the kind words and wishes! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  11. Renee Schuls-Jacobson says

    October 7, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Love the picture.

    The the image of you frog-marching the twins.

    Love that you said, “The story is in my book.”

    Love pens, but my real weakness? Sticky notes. All sizes and colors.

    Thankful for you, my friend.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:20 pm

      Sticky note: yes! I love lined ones, which likely reveals something not very complimentary about me. Yes, I’m starting to write my book in November. Feels good to say that!

      And I’m thankful for you. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  12. Evelynn Starr says

    October 8, 2011 at 1:18 am

    When I was six years old and sometimes went with my dad to his office on Saturdays, my favorite obsession was taking a whiff of the smelly whiteboard markers (my first drug-induced high). Even at that tender age I already wondered if those chemicals were healthy for, you know, humans.

    And copying my face on the Xerox machine.

    And playing with the shredder.

    35 years later, I still have a fascination for shredders.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      Hilarious. And yes, shredding things is therapeutic.

      Reply
  13. gojulesgo says

    October 8, 2011 at 7:34 am

    I actually have a favorite kind of pen: Pilot P700. Black ink. And I’m pretty thankful for them.

    I don’t have kids, but that doesn’t stop me from also being grateful for drive-thru liquor stores. I’m not sure there are any by me (in NJ), but I’m just happy knowing they exist. Miraculous.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      I”m pretty sure my DH uses the Pilot P500. Drive-thru liquor stores crack me up..

      Reply
  14. Trish Loye Elliott says

    October 8, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Love that pic! i’m thankful that you and your family are so hilarious. And more importantly that you’re my friend. Can’t wait to read your whole book. hint hint
    Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm

      It’s pretty much a guarantee that you and E. will be the first to read it, serially!

      Reply
  15. susielindau says

    October 8, 2011 at 10:01 am

    I am in Breckenridge and it looks like Thanksgiving in the States with the snow falling down. Do you have turkey like we do or smaller metric sized birds like Cornish game hens?
    I am thankful for my new virtual friends!
    I love anything that clips things together especially in bright colors!
    I can blame the metric system for how high diving boards are. Sheesh!
    Fun post and newspaper article!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:24 pm

      Snow? Really? Wow. You beat us on that front, though the Rockies have some.

      Yes. Blame the metric system for diving boards. Brilliant!

      Reply
  16. bridgetstraub says

    October 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    I’m crazy grateful for my kids and for the support my musical “Room to Grow” is getting on Kickstarter.com. As for the metric system, I’d be one of those American neighbors who don’t even get it.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 8, 2011 at 7:25 pm

      That’s fab! And metric is math that makes sense.

      Reply
  17. Marianne Hansen Rencher says

    October 11, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Thankful for friends, addicted to pens, and I blame the metric system for my weight.

    Reply
  18. The Hook says

    October 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    On behalf of all of Canada, thanks for the praise!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

© 2005–2023 · Leanne Shirtliffe / Ironic Mom ·