My twins and I tend to spend most of July at my parents’ house in Manitoba. My husband joins us for a week, then hightails it back to Calgary, where he is now. I love being a kid again. And I’m lucky: being at my parents’ house is comfortable and easy.
But the first week has come with some adventure. Here are the Top 10 Examples of Vacation Weirdness:
- I spent most of the drive from Calgary to Winnipeg line-editing Elena Aitken’s fabulous manuscript, Nothing Stays in Vegas (now available!). When a deer loped in front of our van, my husband slammed on the brakes. Thankfully we missed the deer. My tea, however, slopped all over Elena’s manuscript. I later spilled wasabi and soy sauce on it while I was editing it over sushi.
- William bought himself a bow and arrow from hell the dollar store. He has shot his father in the face, his grandfather in the back, and me in the butt.
My husband decided it would be a good idea to let Vivian and William drive Grandma and Grandpa’s golf cart. Vivian fell out while William was driving.- I caught Vivian and William having a water fight in my parents’ house with water bottles. I told them to use water bottles properly.
- Minutes later, I caught Vivian and William using water guns in my parents’ house.
- Vivian has written numerous notes both condemning me (“Please don’t get mad at me today, Mommy”) and apologizing (“I’m sorry I made you get mad at me”).
- William thinks the beer fridge in Grandma and Grandpa’s basement is a trough. I’m moderately grateful he steals only juice boxes.
- While at a restaurant having lunch, William drank all the maple syrup in the container.
- William hums when he’s happy. He did not stop all Tuesday. He has also awoken me with a kiss every morning.
- Vivian dragged William by the feet all over the plush basement carpet. William now has severe (think scabby) rug burn under his chin and on his stomach.
What vacation or summer weirdness have you experienced?
“William hums when he’s happy.”
What a fabulous barometer. And that Vivian and her notes. God, I love her. So happy that you’re able to spend such a long stretch with your parents – such memories you’re making, for all of you.
Am heartened to read that William self-helps re: the beer fridge. The Reds do the same with the content of Nanny and Papa’s freezer. Yesterday, my Dad wandered by with his hands FULL of empty freezie packets.
“Did the boys take those, Dad?”
“They did. They’ve each had four.”
“FOUR?!”
“Well, Luke’s on his fifth, I didn’t see him grab it until it was too late.”
Grandparents are so generous. And patient. No wonder my kids kept asking when I planned to leave. When Mummy’s not around, the fun begins!
Five freezies! Hilarious. It ain’t summer unless the kids are ingesting cold sugary items.
A summer cold. I have one now. They shouldn’t exist. It feels weird being sick when it’s 100 degrees outside.
That is horrible. When I was a teen, I had a high temp when it was 108 and we were visiting Mount Rushmore.
Not fun. Feel well soon!
Sounds like you’re having a wonderful time…enjoy…
Thanks – I am! Only 10 days left!
Tea and wasabi? Sounds like you really know how to spice up a manuscript (badamp-ch!) Feel free to have a go at mine. Hilarious list too. Love the Viv and Will stories.
Hello, Mr. Punster. Tea and sushi are two of my favourite things. I’ll have a go at your manuscript if ya like. I have a whole tube of wasabi in my pantry at home.
ROFL! You certainly have your hands full. The syrup-drinking reminded me of the time when our youngest, then 6, wasn’t paying attention to how fast the salt was coming out of the shaker at the restaurant, and his chicken nuggets (I know, salt on chicken nuggets? Bad idea already) got snowed under. They were inedible. His older brothers thought it was hilarious and called it “salt mountain.” The kids still remember that, isn’t that funny what sticks in their minds?
BTW, we are REALLY excited to be taking Thing1 and Thing2 with us on vacation! Still waiting for their rock star arrival!
I love how the older brothers created a funny memory out of it. So many stories about me growing up come from my older brother and sister, 8 and 6 years older than me respectively.
I hope the things arrive soon. I think they were mailed from TN on Sat!
Hi new reader here. I’m enjoying your posts.
Number 9 sounds just wonderful.
I’ve had a lot of weirdness this summer, but I don’t want to hijack your blog and disturb your readers with it. The gory details have take up three or four posts in my blog. 😉
I just read some of your ashram posts. Sounds like an experience or two (and ultimately helpful)!
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
I love the golf cart.
We took everybody to see Harry Potter last night. I bought the tickets online. Discovered when I got there I had purchased tix for the 8:30 showing at Willowbrook in Houston, TX instead of Willowbrook in Wayne, NJ. I was wondering why it was so cheap.
I love that you did that. Every year in Canada, there are stories of people (often Europeans) who book their vacation to go to Australia in December, for a break from winter amongst other things. Little do they know, that there is a Sydney in Nova Scotia. And it’s not summery there at all in that month!
Throngs of teens sleeping on the floor, in the closet, in chairs… not exactly a vacation, mind you… and I suppose, not even “weird” by our standards. Maybe it’s the past 2 or 3 weeks when they haven’t been here that’s weird?
Beer trough?
Um. I’ll say nothing on that subject… 🙂
LOL. Good point. Sometimes it’s weird when things aren’t weird.
I don’t get a vacation – I’m too busy serving morons!
When I first read “morons,” I read “moms.” I’m sure you’re serving moronic moms too.
AW! Sounds like a wonderful holiday, guns notwithstanding 😉 Both Mark and I are tooling around with Theo this summer and he’s discovered the HOSE! Gah!!!!!!!!
Theo with a hose = entertaining, I bet!
I think you should let William and Vivian write a guest post.
Nay, I demand it!
I give Vivian a year until she has her own blog or takes me to court.
I second that motion!
At least Vivian now knows she HAS a mommy (even if she gets mad. often.)
LOVE the humming and the notes and the syrup.
And a manuscript isn’t fabulous until something has spilled on it.
It’s the law. Pretty sure.
How true is that. You have a good memory, Julie. So does Vivian. I prefer your memory I think. I foresee a lot of Vivian comments, “Remember that time when you wouldn’t…”
We’ve had a pretty good summer here. Sunday, Monkey went tubing with a bevvy of bikini-clad girls. Too bad he doesn’t have his girl-goggles yet. He was clueless. In a few years, he’s going to look back at those pictures and realize that he was the lone wolf — and he just ate a lot of watermelon. 😉
Don’t you love the naivety? How fab you noticed that moment. Because next summer might be all about bikinis.
Haha! William hit your butt with his arrow!
I mean, ow! Are you ok?
It had a suction cup on the end, thankfully. I’m not going to tell you if it stuck or not. 😉
My son used to drink all the creamers. Fortunately, but suprisingly, I don’t think he ever thought of downing the maple syrup…or I never noticed it, at least. Those were the least of my worries. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean!
Jodi
Jodi, I do know what you mean. William does like to stack the creamers into impossible towers. I don’t think it’s occurred to him that he can open them.
#9 “He has also awoken me with a kiss every morning.”
Sweet gesture from a son to his mom? Or more of a ‘remember this later when you want to kill me’?
Love this post. Laughed the whole way through. 🙂
Thanks, Kristen. Hmm. I never thought it might be a suck-up move. That would be very clever…
I love this.
“William bought himself a bow and arrow from hell the dollar store.”
Have you ever considered documenting your life via reality tv? I would so watch.
With the frequency my twins video themselves (and inadvertently me) using PhotoBooth on my MacBook, I think my life is a reality TV show.
OMGosh, all the Maple syrup?! LMBO My tummy hurts thinking about it though. 🙂