The hilarious new kids’ book, Get the F**k to Sleep, has been getting a lot of press lately. And why not? It’s funny, its theme is universal, and it even scans. Some people might think the book is inappropriate, but they also likely believe it’s meant for children.
While on the subject of things that are inappropriate, my husband and I play this slightly twisted game with kids’ books. We’ve based it on one of the segments from Whose Line Is It Anyway?, entitled “If you know what I mean.”
If you don’t know what I mean, watch this clip. Even if you do know, watch this clip. It’s hilarious.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-BfQ7hJ6Po]
So basically, “If you know what I mean” predates its younger, slightly more modern cousin, “That’s what she said.”
Back to my husband and me. One evening a couple of years ago, we were putting away picture books that our twins had frisbeed around our living room. One of us opened a book to a random page, read a line, and followed it with if you know what I mean.
To illustrate this, moments ago I opened Doreen Cronin’s hilarious book, Giggle, Giggle, Quack to a random page. Here’s what it says, with the Whose Line Is It Anyway? addition:
“Bob had all the pigs washed in no time” (if you know what I mean).
Try to imagine two exhausted parents, sitting on their living room floor surrounded by dozens of kids’ books, reading to each other on a Saturday night and killing themselves laughing.
If opening a picture books seems like too much work, just read the title and add the Whose Line Is It Anyway? twist. Try these on for size.
- There’s a Wocket in my Pocket (if you know what I mean)
- Hop on Pop (if you know what I mean)
- Pat the Bunny (if you know what I mean)
- Sharks, and Other Creatures of the Deep (if you know what I mean)
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (if you know what I mean)
Now it’s your turn to play:
What titles of kids’ books are transformed with the addition of if you know what I mean?
Where the Wild Things Are (if you know what I mean).
Poor Max.
Thank you. Now I can’t wait to start reading books to my kids. Ha-larious.
You’re going to have some fun, I’m sure.
Not relevant to titles per se, but there was a board book that went to the tune of Happy and You Know It. On each page you had to make the corresponding animal sound, i.e. ‘quack like a duck’. On the sheep page, one sheep was — kid you not — depicted mounting another. Happy and You Know It (if you know what I mean) 🙂
Wow. Quite the “well rounded” education books can provide…
I just snorted coffee out of my nose. Which is quite impressive for someone who has the plague. I blame you.
A free nasal rinse! Just what the doctor ordered, I’m sure.
Random thought: You play the fortune cookie game, right?
“Your past success will be overshadowed by your future success… IN BED.” or “Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later… IN BED.”
Thank you… My wife and I now have a new favorite cleanup routine, if you know what I mean. 😉
Laughing!
hilarious, this is going to make “Cleaning up” a lot more fun. I love to giggle…..(If you know what I mean?) 🙂
Giggling is the best.
Loved this post! It makes me wish I still had little kids at home to read to.
Umm… scratch that last comment! What was I thinking? Keep the humor intact. You’re going to need it for the ‘teen-angst-years’.
Yup, I need it already. I can’t imagine in 10!
Ahahaha! We did this with Bob the Builder’s book of opposites and cracked up the whole way through, though we didn’t think to add your great line. I just read the book out loud with a certain “look.” Our toddlers watched us laughing like crazy and looked back at the book like, “What the…?”
The Look can say loads. If you know what I mean.
i just finished a slightly older kids’ book: Tuck Everlasting [if you know what I mean]
Everlasting. Yup.
This is going to get ridiculous.
“Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus”
“Weekend At Wendell’s”
“Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse”
“What Will You Wear, Jesse Bear?”
“Better Not Get Wet, Jesse Bear!” (my mother ran to get this book to show me…ah hah)
lines from a Clifford book that we had on hand:
“…and landed in the whipped cream!”
“My aunt found him in the bake shop.”
“Then he ran through the pies!”
This reminds me of my favourite game to play in church. Add “in the shower” to the end of any hymn. Try it sometime.
A new church game: fab!
The whipped cream. Yes. I am laughing out load at your titles. And your mom!
“The Very Hungry Caterpillar”…if you know what I mean! You’re right, it pretty much makes everything funny. Good Times!
A classic!
Hop on Pop hits the 3 at the buzzer for the win. Excellence.
How about: Where the Wild Things Are (if you know what I mean)
Solid 4.
I love basketball analogies. And going for the win.
My favorite book was Pokey the Puppy (if you know what I mean).
Hilarious.
Here are a few of my favorites lying a’boat (for the Canadian contingent):
Why Strangers Have the Best Candy (if you know what I mean)
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy (if you know what I mean)
Eggs, Toilet Paper, and a Light Bulb (if you know what I mean)
…and one of mom’s top picks:
Let Daddy Plug it in the Outlet (if you know what I mean)
🙂
The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy? Really!
Ok, that one is actually in 3D… glasses and all. 😉 If you know what I mean.
Goodnight Gorilla (if you know what I mean) RAWR!!!!!!
Okay, Whose Line is It Anyway was the funniest show. Ever. I miss it so much. There is nothing better than Colin and Ryan playing off each other (if you know what I mean). Except perhaps when Chip and Wayne joined in for Greatest Hits…
The Cat in the Hat Comes back, if you know what I mean.
The Pokey Little Puppy… if you know what I mean.
A lovely thing to add to the tedium of picking up books..
And today’s Canadian connection: Colin is indeed a maple leafer, eh? We grow good comedy north of the 49th…
I think we need a sense of humour to survive the winter.
The predecessor to that for us old farts was “Nudge, nudge…wink, wink!” from Monty Python.
How about “Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel” (if you know what I mean)?
Drew Carey has a new show on the Game Show Network called “Drew Carey’s Improv-A-Ganza.” It features many of the alumni of “Whose Line”, including Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie. It comes on at 8 p.m. Eastern time every weekday.
Fun post, Leanne!
Wendy
I love me some MP.
Improv-A-Ganza looks fab! I may start watching TV again.
And look out for the steam shovels. Or not.
I’m snorting with laughter because the FIRST book I saw when I glanced at the bookcase was:
Yellow Bear Goes to Catholic School (if you know what I mean)
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
Oh, What a Busy Day
Mummy’s Best Kisses
Stop, Train, Stop!
Boo Hoo Bird!
Kind Little Bear
Tumble Bumble
This is actually inspired, Leanne. Now, every night at bed time, when the Reds choose their book, I’ll be trying not to snort…
The train imagery!
Great post, Leanne. Wish I had thought of this game when my kids were throwing books all over the floor! Cleaning up could have been so much fun.
How about: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (if you know what I mean).
Love it.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom = excellent.
This one works even better if you use a line from the book itself: “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, will there be enough room? (if you know what I mean)”
– Goodnight Moon
– Curious George Visits a Toy Store
– Horton Hatches the Egg
My wife just added:
– Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
– Guess How Much I Love You
– Are You My Mother?
– The Little Engine That Could
You have a very clever wife. See, it’s a game you can play together, if you know what I mean.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go.
Indeed.
Oh The Places You’ll Go! Ahahahahaha!
Genius! I’m loving you right now. This much . . .
Fred and Ted Go Camping (if you know what I mean)
Camping. That’s roughin’ it.
You’re my favorite (if you know what I mean):
Google just helped me. Here’s what I gots initially. From least to most fab.
Guess How Much I Love You (if you know what I mean)
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? (if you know what I mean)
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs (if you know what I mean)
Are You My Mother? (if you know what I mean)
The mother one cracks me up. And kind of scares me. Nothing like being on the crest of laughter and fear…
Sloppy Joe (if you know what I mean..)
You know… that’s pretty bad. I’m kind of embarrassed that I even posted that.
I’m laughing. At SJ and your embarrassment. Nothing like taking what’s innocent…
I am dying right now…and I SO wish it were Saturday night so my husband and I could do this.
“Oh BILL! Have I got an activity for US tonight…(if you know what I mean).”
This actually sounds like fun. Am I pathetic?
(don’t answer.)
I can imagine wine only improves the scenario (duh) but fatigue probably works just as well…
Love this, Leanne.
Love.
Laughing with your loved one is never pathetic. And any night can be Saturday night…
Ooh, let me catch my breath! What a riot. Thanks for this! It’s been a long while since we’ve gone through picture books (our youngest is 10), but a few still come to mind, esp. Sandra Boynton:
But Not the Hippopotamus (if you know what I mean);
Moo Baa La La La (if you know what I mean);
Hippos Go Beserk! (if you know what I mean);
Pajama Time (if you know what I mean).
Even Sandra Boynton’s name has potential.
I love Pajama Time.
This post makes me think you two would get along great with me and my wife (if you know what I mean).
Too many librarians, possibly. 😉
Robert Munsch is my favourite kids’ author.. and his collection has just taken on a whole new meaning:
Murmel Murmel Murmel (If you know what I mean)
I Have to Go! ((If you know what I mean)
Something Good (If you know what I mean)
Good Families Don’t (If you know what I mean)
Show and Tell (If you know what I mean)
A Promise is a Promise (If you know what I mean)
Get me Another One (If you know what I mean)
Get out of Bed (If you know what I mean)
Wait and See (If you know what I mean)
We Share Everything! (If you know what I mean)
Mmm, Cookies (If you know what I mean)
Up, Up, down, (If you know what I mean)
I’m So Embarrassed (If you know what I mean)
No Clean clothes (If you know what I mean)
Just One Goal (If you know what I mean)
Look at me (If you know what I mean)
Down the Drain (If you know what I mean)
oh dear…
but if any one suggests “I’ll Love You Forever” as fodder for this game – I’ll chew your toes off (IYKWIM). That book is sacred! 🙂
Munsch Munsch Munsch.
Fab titles, Vicki. Fab!
Awesome.
Didn’t read all the comments, but how about this series:
If You Give a Pig a Pancake (if you know what I mean)
If You Give a Mouse a Muffin (if you know what I mean)
If You Give a Senorita a Sausage (if you… okay, I made that up)
Have you seen the new Drew Carey Improvaganza? We have about 10 episodes DVRd but I’ve yet to watch one.
Of the kazillion channels we get, I don’t think The Gameshow Network is one of them. This is the first time that’s been an issue, except for those moments I wanted fashion advice from Vanna White.
There’s a new blog post for you: Change One Word in a Title of a Kids Book To Make It Inappropriate. Go.
I saw this when you first posted, and I just knew you’d get a billion, skillion hilarious responses. Why? Because bloggers are creative. And because we are perverts. All of us. So here’s my addition. I don’t’t think anyone listed these.
Harold and the Purple Crayon (if you know what I mean)
No, David! (And by no I mean yes, David… if you know what I mean, David…)
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (if you know what I mean)
In The Night Kitchen (on the floor… if you know what I mean)
Open the Barn Door. (‘Nuf said.)
Fabulous! 😉
Maybe you’re just following the wrong (or is that “right”) bloggers?
No, David! I love that book. All the close ups.
Hairy McClary’s Bone! I couldn’t keep a straight face, especially when Hercules Morse as big as a horse was licking his chops!
Good ol’ Hairy McClary… 🙂
Went to the bookstore today and did some scouting of good kids’ titles for you:
The Giving Tree (if you know what I mean)
The Little Engine that Could (if you know what I mean)
The Very Hungry Caterpillar (if you know what I mean)
You researched! I love you even more now.
Well, I Love You Forever, if you know what I mean.
That’s the kid nighttime version of Me love you long time. ahem
Enid Blyton’s ‘Five Run Away Together’ (if you know what I mean..
Too funny.
Here are some titles from our stock of kids’ books:
Uncle Wiggily’s Travels
Our Brother Nick and the Tattooed Gardener
Winkie the Grey Squirrel
Jack and His Ostrich
A Kiss for a Blow
Wendy
A Kiss for a Blow?! How have I not heard of that one? Damn, Canadians!
“A Kiss for a Blow” is actually an American book from 1842…the subtitle is “A Collection of Stories for Children Showing Them How to Prevent Quarreling”…much more prevocative without the subtitle, don’t you think?
Actually, I can see exactly how that would prevent quarrels. I’m so proud to be an American right now.
Totally cracking up here.
Thanks, W and T. Wendy, those titles. Almost leave me speechless!
These are hilarious. I spat out chicken. May I add:
Tub Boo Boo (if you know what I mean)
and suggest that it gets even creepier if you go up to middle grade fiction, like Nancy Drew:
The Secret At Shadow Ranch (if you know what I mean)
The Hidden Staircase (if you know what I mean)
The Bungalow Mystery (if you know what I mean)
Good point about middle grade fiction. And young adult? The Hunger Games…and its sequel, Catching Fire.
I was going to add No David (if you know what I mean)
I see I am not the first.
My son’s current favourite book: The Best Goalie Ever (if you know what I mean)
So many goalie jokes are swirling around my head!
This is cracking me up! I went immediatly for the Sandra Boynton titles, as well, and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, but my youngest daughter’s favorite was “I Want to Sleep in Your Bed” and you don’t even need to add, “if you know what I mean” for that one to be inappropriate!
No you don’t need to add anything, do you!
Hi, mom! 🙂
P.S. I’m not the daughter whose favorite book was the aforementioned one… That’s my little sister. 😆
Oh, my goodness! The “fluff your garfield” episode has got to be my all-time favorite “Whose Line?” episode!!!! Seriously. The way they continued to play out that joke the entire rest of the show? Classic! Anyway. On to naughty book titles. Here are some of the books my son has been reading lately:
Toy Story . . . if you know what I mean
Little Lamb’s Big Scare (and the Shepherd’s Great Care) . . . if you know what I mean
The Biggest Snowman Ever . . . if you know what I mean
The 100-Pound Problem . . . if you know what I mean
Bubble Trouble . . . if you know what I mean
Gus Makes a Gift . . . if you know what I mean
Buried in the Backyard . . . if you know what I mean
Love it!!! 😀
It was a great episode, iykwim.
And I really hope the snowman didn’t melt.
Some of our favorites:
The Tiny Seed
Busy Beavers
Just Keep Swimming
I can see why they’re your favorites.
just the ones my kids read regularly
Make Way for Ducklings (If you know what I mean)
The Mixed Up Chameleon (if you know what I mean)
Bedtime with Pooh (if you know what I mean)
Case of the sticky sticks (if you know what I mean)
The sticky sticks? As in, more than one? 😉
Leanne, we are in tears over here! Thank you! Ha!
Those kind of tears are often the best kind, if you know what I mean.
Ha! Okay, I think this one will be funny, then weird. We have a special book in our family that was passed down from my mother, to me, and now to my daughter. I’m not sure I can read it again without it having a whole new meaning…
A Zoo in Her Bed (if you know what I mean)
The family legacy takes on a whole new meaning. Ahh! Too funny. As in funny for generations.
You have a real knack for this whole blogging concept, young lady! Hilarious as usual.
Thanks. I was always the kid who wanted an audience…
I think I’ve enjoyed the comments as much as the article! Thanks for the giggles – Thought of one “Everybody Poops” If you know what I mean 🙂
LOL. Lots of giggles all over. 😉
Oh The Places You’ll Go (if you know what I mean)
O, where would we be without the classic characters, except instead of “If you know What I mean”, it’s, “If You Know WHO I Mean”:
Peter Rabbit…IYKWIM
FLOPSY Bunny…IYKWIM
Mopsy…IYKWIM
Benjamin Bunny…IYKWIM
Ol’ Mister McGregor…IYKWIM
Little Miss Tittlemouse…IYKWIM
This is adorable. Strike one up for the parents at the end of the day!
Who=funny. Poor flopsy…
Funny stuff. I love the book and I’d never seen that “Whose Line is it Anyway.” What a crack up! Jumped over from Jenny Hansen’s blog…glad I did!
This is hysterical, I am giggling like a kid in church so as not to wake my hubby! And I must add:
Pinkalicious…If you know what I mean!