Last Monday, I had the pleasure of being on The Calgary Eyeopener, a popular morning radio show in our city run by CBC (Canada’s version of NPR). I had been in touch with the producers regarding my post, “5 Best-Toys-of-2010 That Really Suck,” and they were interested in doing a seven minute segment live on the radio that morning.
Now, before I go any further, let me say why I love writing: there’s a delete key. You can take back what you say before you publish it. Not so in radio. As a result, I was anxious. I said to my husband before I left, “Well, I’d be more nervous if it was TV. Look how horrible my hair looks today.” Thankfully, he’s successfully been through Husband School, and he assured me it looked fine…especially for radio.
After a Google map nightmare, I made it to the studio. I had the chance to chat with Angela, the traffic reporter I listen to daily, about the Draculaura, the Monster High doll I was bringing in. Angela used the term prostitot, a great new word that I wish we didn’t need to coin. I assured Angela I would work the word skankification into the interview. And I did.
If you have a spare seven minutes to waste, here’s the interview.
I arrived on time to teach my junior high class. By lunch, there was a message on my phone. It was from a CBC-TV producer. Could they send a TV crew to my house after school to cover the same story? The curse of the bad hair day.
I taught three more classes, picked up my kids, and headed home. I threw in my contacts (the logic being that maybe people wouldn’t look at my hair if I wasn’t wearing glasses – O, Vanity). I then made Vivian and William make a cross-their-hearts-hope-to-die-poke-a-needle-in-their-eye promise that they would not say a peep during the interview.
When the cameraman set up, he informed me I would have to look out the window, not at the camera. “Just pretend a reporter’s standing there,” he said. I wished for a hologram of Wolf Blitzer, to no avail. So, we started rolling. I was staring out our living room window, babbling on about the Monster High dolls, when Vivian, who was in the kitchen, crept into my peripheral vision. She had climbed onto our island, was standing on the highest level, and held Draculaura high above her head. Picture a six-year-old Statue of Liberty and you’re close.
I stopped the filming, hauled Vivian down from the ceiling, and started again.
I survived. Two different segments ran on the Tuesday news. And I even managed to use the word skankification again.
But Barbara Walters, your job’s safe. You have, amongst other things, much better hair.
Any stories about radio or TV?