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How Do You Spell Relief? B-a-c-k-T-o-S-c-h-o-o-l

Maybe William needs to go to culinary school.

Vivian and William had their first day of school yesterday.

After we used a logarithm to sort out the bus route, we drove to the school, met the kids when they got off the bus, and joined the queue of parents sloughing Lululemon bags overflowing with glue sticks and sharpened pencils.

Welcome to the first day of Grade 2.

**

Over the past two weeks, my humour columns in the Calgary Herald have had back-to-school themes. Feel free to click on the links below.

Last week’s column is entitled The Horrors of Shopping for School Supplies. This piece even garnered me some hate mail (see the comments on my about page). I smiled; nothing like criticism to make you feel like you’ve made it to Point B as a writer.

This week’s column is Perils and Joys of the First Day of School; no one’s missed my tone on that one yet, but there’s still time.

**

Now it’s your turn. In the comments section below, let me know:

What are your memories of school supply shopping and the first day?

**

The winner of the family pack of tickets to Ovo, a performance by Cirque du Soleil: Amanda Yavis-Batty (comment 15).

Amanda, please email me at ironicmom(at)gmail(dot)com. Congratulations, and thanks to all who entered!

Filed Under: On the Move Tagged With: back to school, Calgary Herald, funny, humor, kids, mom, school supply shopping, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Wendy Lawrence says

    September 2, 2011 at 5:12 am

    Congrats on the hate mail! I think that’s a first step towards a Pullitzer…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:15 pm

      It’s kind of like your first rejection letter. You can now say you have something in common with J.K. Rowling, etc.

      Reply
  2. robshep (@robshep) says

    September 2, 2011 at 5:25 am

    I always remember that on the first day of school everyone had new shoes. I don’t know why I remember that but I do. I would look at all the other kids tennis shoes.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm

      True. I did that when I dropped off my kids yesterday. I checked out the other kids shoes, mostly because William was wearing a pair that fit fine as long he kept his toes curled.

      Reply
  3. Annie says

    September 2, 2011 at 5:52 am

    The hate comment and clays response is hilarious stuff!

    I’m so nerdy that I love buying school supplies. You can never have too many glue sticks! 😉

    Cute article. Very funny.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm

      I admit I love buying pens. My mom also says that she had to hide my school supplies when I was a kid or I’d wear them out. Sounds like we were both “that kid.”

      Reply
  4. thoughtsappear says

    September 2, 2011 at 7:18 am

    I love the articles! Hurray for Clay, too! He’s got your back.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm

      Indeed.

      Reply
  5. educlaytion says

    September 2, 2011 at 7:34 am

    To quote the great lion of Oz, “Aw shucks folks, I’m speechless.”

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

      Is that a first? 😉

      Reply
  6. Amanda Yavis-Batty says

    September 2, 2011 at 7:41 am

    I can’t believe I won! Thank you so much! E-mail coming your way!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

      Congrats and thanks for entering, Amanda. Random number generator loved you! Enjoy the show.

      Reply
  7. mistyslaws says

    September 2, 2011 at 8:33 am

    I agree, you have obviously arrived. Next stop . . . pulitzer.

    And isn’t Clay just one big blogging knight in shining armor? To defend a lady in peril of being slayed by idiocy. How chivalrous!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

      Yup. Nice to have good peeps in my corner.

      Reply
  8. Cheryl says

    September 2, 2011 at 9:02 am

    Great article Leanne! My kids have finally got that they don’t need new every year. We sorted through all our wax crayons from the last 24 years of them going to school and managed to find eight complete sets. Three sets were so perfect I could have returned them to Walmart and no one would have been the wiser. They do grow up!!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

      Thanks, Cheryl.

      Do you think the wax crayons were secretly multiplying in the darkness of the drawers?

      Reply
    • The Grouchy Mom says

      September 4, 2011 at 8:23 pm

      I so love that sort of recycling, Cheryl!

      But…24 years? How many kids do you have and why after 24 years are they still in school?

      Just wonderin’….

      Leanne – I loved the article…but just what is so bad about belching the alphabet? We’re very proud of our little letter belcher and she makes a fine addition to any classroom setting! =)

      Reply
      • Leanne Shirtliffe says

        September 4, 2011 at 9:17 pm

        My husband belches the alphabet. And you think I’m joking…

        Reply
  9. journeytoepiphany says

    September 2, 2011 at 9:20 am

    I love new pencils and plaid wool skirts, new notebooks with no scribbles in them. It’s like New Year’s all over again; a fresh start.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      I get that. I started a new Moleskin yesterday and was a tad giddy…

      Reply
  10. Paige Par Norman says

    September 2, 2011 at 11:59 am

    It’s funny that i’m reading this article today, because my daughter was just ranting about the cost of school supplies for her one (as in non-twin) 2nd grade daughter. $125 for the list which included the hated two boxes of Kleenex (Thought we weren’t supposed to send our darlings to school if they’re sick), a dozen glue sticks (one per nostril for 6 kids?), sharpened #2 pencils, blah, blah, blah.

    I commiserated with her that it only gets worse as they get older. For 4th grade we had to provide a ream of paper, a USB drive, red pencils and diaper wipes.

    I am blessed that i’m rebellious enough that I buy what’s on sale and not what the brand name is. I’m also blessed that my children loved used clothing (but new socks & underwear).

    All I can say in closing is I have my last child starting 7th grade on Tuesday and I am ecstatic! What to do with all my free time? Help the just graduated, at-home playing on video games all day long 18 year old FIND A JOB.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm

      It doesn’t always get easier, does it? Different challenges, I guess.

      Of course, yesterday there was a note from the teacher saying we bought (and labeled!) the wrong notebooks. So now we have to buy 7 more correct ones for William and the same for Vivian.

      Reply
  11. karmavore says

    September 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I just LOVED school as a child, especially grades 1 to 6. I used to cry at the end of June. That said, I remember feeling a little anxious about the new class, new teacher, new everything. I have no recollection of new clothing or anything! DEPRIVED!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

      I have a recollection of new hand-me-downs. I was excited. Then I kept growing and my older cousin stopped. So much for that.

      Here’s an odd fact: there has only been one year (my mat leave year) that I haven’t gone back-to-school since I was 5. That’s 34 years, I think. No wonder why I’m tired.

      Reply
  12. Renee Schuls-Jacobson says

    September 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    Clearly I am doing everything wrong. When Monkey goes to school, he knows I’m in school, too. Or if it is a Tuesday or Thursday, he knows I’m sitting on my butt grading.

    He always wears hand-me-downs. He does not have new shoes. Could I be negatively impacting his 7th grade social life? Incidentally, I rebelled and refused to buy the tissues and paper towels this year. If my kid needs to blow, send him to the damn bathroom for toilet paper.

    As a child, I loved matching folders with notebooks. As an adult, I have a fetish for binderclips.

    Have a great year, my Teacher Sistah.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 4, 2011 at 10:12 am

      My fetish is for moleskins, which sounds way more risky than it is. They’re the only notebooks that (a) I finish, and (b) survive my destructive tendencies.

      I love that you rebelled and didn’t buy tissues. Were paper towels on the list? Seriously? What’s next: a blender?

      Reply
  13. Susan says

    September 3, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    My standard back-to-school must as a child: new cords. Every September I still get the strong urge to buy new cords. Love the Herald columns!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      September 4, 2011 at 10:13 am

      Thanks, Susan. No Herald column this coming week (due to my own back-to-school psychotic-ness).

      And cords. Sigh…

      Reply
  14. Lori Dyan says

    September 5, 2011 at 6:25 am

    My kids don’t start until Wednesday and we’d planned on easing into things today and tomorrow (we don’t even need school supplies at the hippie school!). But I just realized this morning that every pair of pants and long-sleeve shirts they own are two inches too short and none of their non-sandal shoes fit. #oops

    Reply
  15. Lori Dyan says

    September 5, 2011 at 6:26 am

    p.s. Congrats on the nasty comment – big leagues, baby!

    Reply
  16. Christian Emmett says

    September 7, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Isn’t it great to have friends like Clay! You’re definitely one of the greats when you receive not only the criticism but also the spirited defense. 🙂

    Great post Leanne, loved the articles as well. Do kids even know what a protractor is anymore? When I was at school, we got one pot of Clag glue and we MADE IT LAST!

    Reply

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