It all started off innocently enough. William had brought home a school library book entitled, A Porcupine Named Fluffy. This is a picture book that we used to own, but my twins have a Bachelors of Loving Things To Death and a Masters in Destroying Anything Else. Given their two advanced degrees, I had recycled the remaining pages of this dear book a year ago.

William has a penchant for things familiar. Even at age five, he still enjoys watching the Baby Einstein DVD on occasion. I liken it to my affinity for Kraft Dinner: I know I’m beyond it, but sometimes it reminds me of easier days.
So, there I was, reading A Porcupine Named Fluffy, seated cross-legged on the couch with a twin under each armpit. Rereading this once-favourite was a trip down memory lane for all of us, and the conversation about the protagonist, a female porcupine, continued even after I got up to unpack the dregs of Vivian and William’s school lunches.
“I think they should name the porcupine Prickly,” William said.
“No,” Vivian said, “they should name it Prick.”
“Prick’s not a girl’s name,” Will replied.
Nope, definitely not, I thought, scraping mushy apple core from the inside of Vivian’s lunch bag.
Later that day, I picked up the newspaper and read an article about the top baby names of 2009, at least according the vital statistics branch of my province, Alberta. William, my son’s name, ranks 9th overall, as 197 Albertan boys were given that name last year. Vivian is more unique, with fewer than 20 babies sharing that name. Interestingly, more than two times as many girls were named Kennedy, possibly demonstrating that Alberta just might be the 51st State.
But neither Kennedy nor Vivian are unique monikers. You want unique? Try these for girls: Peanut, Epic, Fyre, Mischiefs, Twinkle, Comfort.
And for boys? Bison, Chaos, Whip, Mystery, Draco, and – for all you NHL fans out there – Ericlindross (yes, one word).
After reading the lists of bizarre names, I’m starting to think that Prick is sounding pretty good.
I feel bad for Ericlindros – he’s destined to grow up to be a big disappointment!
I once had a patient named Tinkerbell. Legal given name. Eek.
Don’t parents THINK about names anymore? Or is it the first thing that pops out of their head now? Sheesh…Ericlindross? Seriously??? I pity that poor child
Tinkerbell? Wow. I hope Ericlindross is already called Ross or Eric or…Clind? I want to say to these parents: Get a dog. Use up your beat-up-at-school names with Fido.
Whip, Twinkle, and Comfort….sound like stripper names. Can you imagine the grief this kids will get in school?
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
I meant “these kids.” *sigh*
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
You’re right! That’s exactly what those names sound like: stripper names. It’s hard to imagine a judge or a doctor named Twinkle, isn’t it?
Thanks for commenting.
You’re welcome! *twinkles* I couldn’t resist.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Too funny! Prick is not a girls name. As a Seinfeld fan I am reminded of the name “seven” as a bad baby name.
Vancouver Canucks fans named their kid Linden.
i know someone who is called ((((((Baby Girl)))))) and she is 39 years old! hahaha she hates her name–she now goes by the name Girlie 😛 It’s still Baby Girl E. on her passport though.
We have a Bollywood actress named Twinkle……Famous too….
bahahha Officer twinkle would be beyound funny im sorry i would problie lose it right in an officers face for the name Twinkle and Iconic mom with A judge named twinkle i have just lost it