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Bizarre Baby Names

It all started off innocently enough. William had brought home a school library book entitled, A Porcupine Named Fluffy. This is a picture book that we used to own, but my twins have a Bachelors of Loving Things To Death and a Masters in Destroying Anything Else. Given their two advanced degrees, I had recycled the remaining pages of this dear book a year ago.

A Porcupine Named ???

William has a penchant for things familiar. Even at age five, he still enjoys watching the Baby Einstein DVD on occasion. I liken it to my affinity for Kraft Dinner: I know I’m beyond it, but sometimes it reminds me of easier days.

So, there I was, reading A Porcupine Named Fluffy, seated cross-legged on the couch with a twin under each armpit. Rereading this once-favourite was a trip down memory lane for all of us, and the conversation about the protagonist, a female porcupine, continued even after I got up to unpack the dregs of Vivian and William’s school lunches.

“I think they should name the porcupine Prickly,” William said.

“No,” Vivian said, “they should name it Prick.”

“Prick’s not a girl’s name,” Will replied.

Nope, definitely not, I thought, scraping mushy apple core from the inside of Vivian’s lunch bag.

Later that day, I picked up the newspaper and read an article about the top baby names of 2009, at least according the vital statistics branch of my province, Alberta. William, my son’s name, ranks 9th overall, as 197 Albertan boys were given that name last year. Vivian is more unique, with fewer than 20 babies sharing that name. Interestingly, more than two times as many girls were named Kennedy, possibly demonstrating that Alberta just might be the 51st State.

But neither Kennedy nor Vivian are unique monikers. You want unique? Try these for girls: Peanut, Epic, Fyre, Mischiefs, Twinkle, Comfort.

And for boys? Bison, Chaos, Whip, Mystery, Draco, and – for all you NHL fans out there – Ericlindross (yes, one word).

After reading the lists of bizarre names, I’m starting to think that Prick is sounding pretty good.

Filed Under: Hilarious Family Moments Tagged With: baby names, book, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Katie says

    February 26, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    I feel bad for Ericlindros – he’s destined to grow up to be a big disappointment!

    I once had a patient named Tinkerbell. Legal given name. Eek.

    Reply
  2. Carrie says

    February 27, 2010 at 7:09 am

    Don’t parents THINK about names anymore? Or is it the first thing that pops out of their head now? Sheesh…Ericlindross? Seriously??? I pity that poor child

    Reply
  3. ironicmom says

    February 27, 2010 at 9:19 am

    Tinkerbell? Wow. I hope Ericlindross is already called Ross or Eric or…Clind? I want to say to these parents: Get a dog. Use up your beat-up-at-school names with Fido.

    Reply
  4. Stesha says

    February 28, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Whip, Twinkle, and Comfort….sound like stripper names. Can you imagine the grief this kids will get in school?

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    Reply
  5. Stesha says

    February 28, 2010 at 10:06 am

    I meant “these kids.” *sigh*

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    Reply
  6. ironicmom says

    February 28, 2010 at 10:30 am

    You’re right! That’s exactly what those names sound like: stripper names. It’s hard to imagine a judge or a doctor named Twinkle, isn’t it?

    Thanks for commenting.

    Reply
  7. Stesha says

    March 1, 2010 at 7:47 am

    You’re welcome! *twinkles* I couldn’t resist.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    Reply
  8. Otter says

    March 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Too funny! Prick is not a girls name. As a Seinfeld fan I am reminded of the name “seven” as a bad baby name.

    Reply
  9. ann says

    March 27, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    Vancouver Canucks fans named their kid Linden.

    Reply
  10. nannymcp22 says

    October 25, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    i know someone who is called ((((((Baby Girl)))))) and she is 39 years old! hahaha she hates her name–she now goes by the name Girlie 😛 It’s still Baby Girl E. on her passport though.

    Reply
  11. n J says

    July 6, 2011 at 11:28 pm

    We have a Bollywood actress named Twinkle……Famous too….

    Reply
  12. kasarah22 says

    February 1, 2013 at 12:33 am

    bahahha Officer twinkle would be beyound funny im sorry i would problie lose it right in an officers face for the name Twinkle and Iconic mom with A judge named twinkle i have just lost it

    Reply

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