I’m sitting on our couch after work, one of those long days when 89% of my brain has already been sacrificed to middle school students.
William is doing what he does best: babble incessantly about a fantasy world as though it’s more natural than Pamela Anderson’s breasts. Which it is.
Will is holding his latest DVD obsession: Penguins of Madagascar. I’m thankful for this show, because he now knows there are more countries in the world than the USA, Calgary and Texas.
He is on minute twelve of summarizing one of the plots. I’ve adopted my pretend-to-be-listening face, which involves eye contact, nodding, and repeating the occasional word. I clue in for this sentence.
“Mom,” Will says, “the mayor was going to open a Children’s Zoo.”
I process this for a nanosecond. I say:
William looks at me, clearly wondering where that 11% of my brain went.
“No, Mom. Not humans. Baby animals.”
“Oh. So not a zoo where people pay to see children?”
“No. They’d never do that.”
And he’s right…
…they wouldn’t.
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My friend, Kelly from Dances with Chaos, wrote a great post this week that I want to draw attention to. It’s OCD Awareness week, and everyone should read this post: It’s Not Just about Breasts Anymore. So please, click over.
**
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday, so I ask:
What strange things have you said or heard recently?
I love Penguins of Madagascar. King Julian cracks me up.
I mean…I only watch that when nothing else is on, or if the only other option is iCarly.
Vivian actually likes iCarly. I sat through one with her and said, “This is why parents are supposed to monitor what their kids watch.” Oops.
I’ve never seen that movie, and we’re usually quite the fan of penguins.
I think Happpy Feet might have scarred me.
But I think my kids would support the children’s zoo you speak of. After all, they did this willingly on our last Thanksgiving:
OH MY I AM DYING…
I always love Whiteboard Wednesday.
But add the Tackler and Lil Diva in a cage?
🙂
Julie – That is from a post I did before you found me. 🙂 I think you will be highly amused by it: http://danceswithchaos.wordpress.com/2010/11/30/lactating-belly-buttons-kennel-trained-toddlers-tacklerism-tuesday/
I so love that picture. Perfect for this post!
Glad to know that even your son is a Penguins fan 😉
Ha. And I haven’t even mentioned that we watched March of the Penguins a couple of days ago. Those penguin daddies are amazing…though they’re funny to watch on ice, kind of like your team.
I think my 13yo son would pay top dollar at that kind of zoo–if his 5yo sister was one of the exhibits.
And you already know the the strange things I’ve said. 😉
Can’t wait to share your Whiteboard Wednesday guest post! 😀
Thank-you, ma’am! I’m constantly amazed at the opportunities social media affords.
Plus, I so grok your humor!
Gonna have to have you and Outloud over in my “crib” sometime.
I think a “children’s zoo” wouldn’t draw nearly as many visitors as a “Pubescent Zoo”. It would be a collection of pre- and current teen children from all over the world doing what they do best: complain about living conditions, attempting to sneak out without being caught, being forced to watch “family acceptable” TV and only being served food that “children in third world countries wouldn’t eat” (casseroles and non-chicken nugget fare).
Hours would be noon to 2 AM.
That’s as creative as I can be on one cup of coffee and 5 hours sleep (I have an 18 and a 13 year old).
I work in a Pubescent Zoo. In Canada, we call it middle school.
But your definition is brilliant. And hilarious. (And your brain functions better on 5 hours than mine does on 8)
My kids get in the dog cage too. Hubby was terrified I’d put it on FB. I think you should have put Pamela Anderson’s breasts in your tags for a laugh see what traffic you get 😛
Too funny. One of the search terms that brings people to my blog the most frequently is “caged monkeys.”
And Pamela Anderson is Canadian. But I don’t think her breasts are.
I saw a sign that said Children’s Auction and thought the very same thing – they’re auctioning children? I don’t think you’re losing your mind. 🙂
Hilarious! I wonder what the starting bid would be…
HIlarious!
I was thinking…but wouldn’t parents want to go in too? I guess Parent’s Zoo wouldn’t sound as good.
Good point. I put myself in Time Out way more than I put my kids in it. (It helps it’s the best chair in the house).
I don’t think anyone would visit, though. Cuz if you were lucky enough to get your kids in it, you would be taking a nap.
Good point. I’d be napping. Or on Twitter.
You mean…that would be wrong? Um, excuse me for just a moment. Nothing to see here…just opening a cage or two in my living room. Ahem. 🙂
Laughing!
Welp, I heard myself ask my child if she wanted “chocolate nuts” today. I’m not sure that it’s ever appropriate to TWSS your own kid.
Speaking of. Which dad thought it would be a “really good idea” to bring home the latest Ben & Jerry’s flavor? This dad. Which dad’s 5yo little girl got wind of the actual name of said ice cream’s flavor? And then proceeded to make just about every inappropriate remark that one can about what one can do with “Schwedy Balls?” This dad’s. Which dad was reduced to paroxysms of inappropriate laughter for about five solid minutes? Again, this one.
Which dad will never, ever blog about this? This one–because he wants to remain married.
Thus I see your “TWSS,” welp, and raise it with the foregoing. What else you got, Outloud? Bring it. 😉
Outloud has got a lot of that going on, IYKWIM.
I love that William was on minute 12 of summarizing a Penguins episode which can’t have been more than about 10 minutes long. But, like the Simpsons, those Penguins episodes punch above their weight class.
Aww. The Simpsons. I do a really bad Marge impression. It’s more fun than doing a Penguins impression, though.
My son also loves those penguins (sorry, not the hockey ones), but not as much as I like the idea of an IM children’s zoo 😀
Does your son like the water polo penguins? 😉
Now that’s a zoo I’d pay to see. Can there be some spare cages for unruly husbands (I’d say in-laws, but I lucked out in that department – mine are great)?
Ha! Brilliant. I think that zoo would be full for Monday Night Football.
I thought I had mastered the nod and the occasional word-drop.
The boy recently busted me.
So what now?
Seriously. I’ve lost 30% of my game.
My kids already call me on it. I’m either a great listener or a horrible one. Yup, not one of my strengths…
Great pic, the key word here being “WILLINGLY”!
Awesome post.