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Fitness Follies – The Canada Day Edition

I’m celebrating Canada Day (a.k.a. Canada D’eh) by exercising. Of course, I’m writing this the night before which means I haven’t yet exercised. In fact, I haven’t actually exercised since people thought the iPad was a new brand of feminine hygiene product.

Two of the best reasons for being healthy
VW: My two best reasons for getting healthy

I’m feeling rather patriotic in this soon-to-be attempt at getting less jiggly. After all, if I succeed, I will likely cost our iconic health care system less money, even if I did go see my doctor last week  because on TV they always say to “talk to your physician” before starting an exercise program. And we all know TV is truth.

It’s also patriotic because of Canada’s flag. Before I start exercising I’m white; while I’m exercising I turn red, fluorescent red. And I keep getting redder for the next hour after I stop. Most people who see me in this cool down period call 9-1-1.

So, in honour of Canada D’Eh, I’m moving my butt, and not just to the nearest chair.

Gaiam GiveawayAlso in honour of Canada Day, I’m giving away a brand new workout DVD, in its original, impossible-to-remove plastic wrap. The good people of Gaiam Canada have sent me some awesome swag, and because I think I’d have a heart attack if I tried Jillian Michaels’ Hard Body DVD (note: this would be bad for Canadian Health Care), I’m sending it to one lucky commenter. Plus, I’m thinking of doing my own DVD called Saggy-Out-Of-Shape-And-Red-Faced Body.

I’m keeping the yoga mat, yoga DVD, and water bottle for myself, though. And I’m even going to use them. Gasp. You may read more about this, possibly from a hospital.

Finally, Gaiam is offering Ironic Mom readers a 15% discount off anything you buy from their Gaiam.ca store as long as you use the discount code 15TalkIM and lend them your first child. (Kidding on that last point).

To enter to win the DVD, give me some workout advice, your best tips, facetious or real. Winner will be announced next week and picked my some random method that does not involve cruelty to animals. Or children.

Filed Under: Finding Humor Everywhere, Groovey Giveaways

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. EatURFruitsNVeggies says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:54 am

    Do it! Go to Bikram! You’ll love it… or at least have some really good blog fodder.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:41 am

      If I sit and observe a Bikram class, I’ll still sweat. Ergo, a workout?

      Reply
      • EatURFruitsNVeggies says

        July 1, 2013 at 12:26 pm

        No. You must participate or else you will be ejected from the room. No joke. Your time is now. Carpe Diem.

        Reply
  2. Catherine Johnson says

    July 1, 2013 at 5:19 am

    Happy Canada day! There’s enough exercise equipment in this house to sink a small ship so don’t count me in. I’ve got to start using what I’ve got. Have a super day!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:43 am

      Thanks, Catherine. I hear you about the “exorcist” equipment.

      Reply
  3. pw says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:08 am

    Dont run. You might break your leg.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:43 am

      Ha.

      Reply
  4. renée a. schuls-jacobson says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:13 am

    Happy Canada Day, eh? And I’m right there with you on the exercise thing. In fact, I’m heading out to walk my neighbor’s dog. What have I become? 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:43 am

      You’ve become a dog walker? 😉 Thanks for the wishes. Here’s to moving our butts.

      Reply
  5. rflinchum says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:23 am

    Don’t check the scale for at least one month! Put it in a closet! Instead focus on how you feel and why you started exercising in the first place. =)

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:44 am

      Oh. Good advice…

      Reply
  6. donofalltrades says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:25 am

    Nobody drops dead while sitting on a barstool, but lots of people die while exercising. I mean a lot! I guess that’s not a workout tip though is it?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:45 am

      I like how you think! I have a friend who has a “heart beat” theory – claiming that we all have a certain number of heart beats in our life. Why hasten our demise by exercising?

      Reply
      • donofalltrades says

        July 1, 2013 at 10:50 am

        Holy crap!! We were talking to a guy the other day at lunch who has that same theory! Is your friend obese? This guy was really obese and I sensed was just trying to placate himself for being awesomely lazy. Happy Canada Day by the way!

        Reply
        • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

          July 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

          Ha. No, she was a very thin Brit. She was joking, too.

          Reply
  7. Vicki Murphy says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:45 am

    It helps to have friends, as partners, for accountability, but don’t choose friends who are in better shape. You know, the friends that exercise ALL the time. They only push you too much, too fast, and that’ll only hurt you physically & motivationally. They’ll tell you you can slow down or stop, but you won’t. Pride?True story.

    One of my friends has a goal to walk one mile a day, 365 miles in one year, but not necessarily every day. She keeps adding to her total as she has time, usually in a gym that you can pay for monthly membership or by the day. I should do that.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:46 am

      I like the mileage goal. I just started wearing my FitBit again, or, as my FB friend calls hers, a TitBit, since you can clip it to your bra.

      Reply
  8. The Vanilla Housewife says

    July 1, 2013 at 7:41 am

    Have a great! Canada D’eh. I have no great workout tip for you because I am a lazy mama, but I do get my exercise from dragging my foot whenever a toddler decides to hitch a ride, and a lot of stomach crunches every time the said toddler decides that my stomach (when lying down) looks like a fine pedestal when she wants to give a concert. 🙂

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:47 am

      The toddler workout. Brilliant. Maybe that’s why I was fitter back then.

      Reply
  9. Paige Roper Norman says

    July 1, 2013 at 8:08 am

    A friend and I started walking last summer while on our vacation (there was a beach, so it was more like a stroll) and have kept it up for almost one year now. We walk in the morning before school and everything else gets started; she brings coffee for us both, and we’ve progressed from about a mile to 2.25 miles (I have no idea how many kilometers that is) over that time period. I’ve lost 20 pounds and numerous inches.

    Get a friend, grab a cup of something and walk when you can. Even if you circle your block 12 times (make sure your neighbors don’t think you’ve got dementia and have lost your way home); it’s still exercise.

    Good luck!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:49 am

      Seriously? That is an awesome story. And it’s enjoyable, right? Fab.

      Reply
  10. Nicole says

    July 1, 2013 at 8:23 am

    My Fitness Pal. And Leslie Sansone DVDs. Oh, and also I think I read somewhere about a study that if you drink wine daily you will shed unwanted weight and get clever-er. I like to drink the wine while walking at home with Leslie and then “forget” to log those calories on MFP. Cheers!!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:50 am

      MFP. I am on there. I’m going to start using it again. Wine is free! Yay!

      Reply
  11. JM Randolph says

    July 1, 2013 at 9:44 am

    Will I get a bigger discount if I lend them all of my children? It seems like I should. My workout advice is two-fold and contradictory. Do something that pisses you off enough that you want to best it. Meanwhile, make small changes. Park farther away at the store, yadda yadda yadda. I have a goal of 10,000 steps a day and got a nifty pedometer to track that (a FitBit Zip, used on eBay for like $40). It makes little faces at me based on how it thinks I’m doing. Once it gave me a spider. I’m still trying to figure out what that means.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 10:52 am

      I love your idea of little changes. I have just started wearing my FitBit this morning. Do you actually get 10K steps in a day? That’s a lot.

      And the spider stands for “Multiply your steps by 4 since spiders have 4x as many legs.” 😛

      Reply
      • JM Randolph says

        July 1, 2013 at 10:54 am

        I definitely have to make the effort to make it happen. I have to take intentional walks. Yesterday I paced while I was on the phone with my mom for almost an hour. 4000 steps right there! And OMG you are right about the spider!

        Reply
        • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

          July 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

          Pacing while on the phone: brilliant.

          Reply
  12. m says

    July 1, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Try Crossfit. Many movements use only your own body weight (which in my case is plenty!). My son is a certified Crossfit coach so he gives me scaled down workouts.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

      July 1, 2013 at 2:28 pm

      I doubt getting my body out of bed counts as crossfit…

      Reply
  13. Louise says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    Walk. One step at a time, but more steps (even if only two more) tomorrow than yesterday. (Pause for brag moment: Last weekend I walked 46 miles (in 13.5 hours, in case you were about to ask.) (Full disclosure: the walk had NO hills. None. Not a single hill.) If I can do that so can anyone. OK, brag moment over.) Oh, it appears I don’t have much more to say . . . just walk: easy, free and tonnes of fun.

    Reply
  14. feralc4t says

    July 1, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    The “Saggy-Out-Of-Shape-And-Red-Faced Body” sounds like the perfect exercise regime for me, I am going wait patiently for the release..

    Reply
    • Escaping Elegance says

      July 5, 2013 at 1:54 pm

      “Saggy-Out-Of-Shape-And-Red-Faced Body”
      Is that the body we start out with? Or the one we aim to achieve?
      Both might suit my purposes! 🙂

      Reply
  15. the okayest mom says

    July 1, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I do the warm up from the Insanity workout by Beachbody. That way, I can still honestly claim I do the Insanity workouts but no one really knows I only do it for 10 minutes (they can still see my butt, however, so I’m not fooling too many people). 🙂

    Reply
  16. brooklynberrydesigns says

    July 1, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    I think I want the video. I would watch it while eating snacks and laughing. I really should do early morning workouts before my kids get up. But that would require me to get up early…..

    Reply
  17. pastorlinzey says

    July 1, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    Finding a consistent time and day helps with long-term sustainability. Make that time sacred, don’t schedule anything else then.

    Reply
  18. Heather says

    July 2, 2013 at 7:05 am

    I love the sentence about being patriotic because you are white and then red when you’re working out. I can totally relate. LOL 🙂 Happy Canada Day!

    Reply
  19. mostlynoodles says

    July 2, 2013 at 9:05 am

    Jillian Michaels once said “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going.” I’m not sure this is good advice. Probably a good thing you couldn’t open the DVD.

    Reply
  20. Kim says

    July 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    First, don’t jog with a freakin stroller. I mean seriously, its time for you not time to bond and cause your adorable kids to jiggle til they puke(Jillian didn’t specify who should puke at the end right?). My advice, get off your A$% and move more. I am a trainer with two kids so if you want more info….ask. 🙂 Kim

    Reply
  21. ticklestotantrums says

    July 3, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    My advice is to not work out while your kids are around. Mine sat on the couch today and told me they were my “audience”. Awesome…
    After almost kicking The Girl in the head when she walked in front of me and The Boy knocking the remote off the couch and restarting the DVD I just gave up 😛

    Reply
    • Escaping Elegance says

      July 5, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      Such good advice! The worst is when my kids start exercising with me and I end up angry and discouraged because the exercise that is kicking my ass is “fun” for them!

      Reply
  22. Escaping Elegance says

    July 5, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    My Canada Day exercise was trudging up and down Citadel Hill with the kids (I’m in Halifax). I need more and more motivation every year…

    This year, I’ve been listening to audio-books on my iPad shuffle while I run (on a treadmill because I do it at work to fit it in) and am only letting myself listen to the books when I’m running. There have been times that I’ve run for an extra 30 mins just to hear the end of a chapter. Really freaky are the days I’m looking forward to the next day’s run so I can keep “reading”. Great books are the key.

    As a new blogger, I’m really glad I discovered yours! Go Canada!

    Reply
  23. Go Jules Go says

    July 8, 2013 at 7:17 am

    My best work-out advice is to make sure you bring wet-napkins when you go hiking. It really sucks when you’re chowing down on chocolate-covered trail mix the entire time and then can’t wash your hands.

    Reply
  24. The Hook says

    July 9, 2013 at 7:03 am

    My exercise regiment consists of loading and unloading luggage, all day long! I don’t recommend it….

    Reply
  25. mistyslaws says

    July 9, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Pretty sure she would kill me as well, so not sure I would actually WANT that video if I won, but let’s see, workout advice, hmmmm.

    Does one actually have to participate in said “working out” to give advice? Because if not, then I’m totally your girl! I say . . . spandex and lycra are your best friends, leg warmers are mandatory, and rainbow colored headbands are the height of workout fashion. And . .. go!!

    Reply

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