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The 3 Types of Halloween Families

It’s the weekend before my children’s teeth fall out.

Yes, Halloween.

And I’ve compiled some heavy-duty anthropological research. To earn a mail-order PhD, I was originally going to research potato chip flavours of the world. Instead, I have crunched data, classifying people into 3 types of Halloween families.

This was the topic of my humor column in The Calgary Herald yesterday. You have to click here to read:

The 3 Types of Halloween Families.

Feel free to add to this body of research in the comments below.

Filed Under: On the Move Tagged With: funny, Halloween, humor, Ironic Mom, Leanne Shirtliffe, parenting, twins

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. aarongraham says

    October 28, 2011 at 8:08 am

    VERY well done. I especially liked “pachyderm pirouette”
    I love your style and am so glad I found your blog!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      I’m glad you found it too. Welcome!

      Reply
  2. Wendy Lawrence says

    October 28, 2011 at 8:52 am

    My mom made every halloween costume by scratch with something called a sewing machine, but when I got said item out of the closet and dusted it off, it did not respond to my magical incantations (read: swearing). So I’m stuffing my three-year-old Tin Man in a commercial-sized ice cream container covered in tin foil. In my opinion, he looks awesome. In his opinion, it’s not quite like the “very perfect” costumes I accidentally let him see for sale online…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      A sewing machine? I saw one of those in a pioneer village once.

      Ode to tin foil.

      Reply
  3. thoughtsappear says

    October 28, 2011 at 9:15 am

    If it wasn’t too late, I’d change my costume to elephant in a tutu.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      I know. I don’t think I need a costume to pull that off.

      Reply
  4. Trish Loye Elliott says

    October 28, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Too funny! Loved this article, Leanne. Nice work.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:47 pm

      A bit different from draft one, isn’t it?!

      Reply
  5. Bill says

    October 28, 2011 at 10:57 am

    I struggled for hours, fastening old computer circuit boards all over my daughter’s costume. She, on the other hand, spent hours with her speak and spell pasting together a cassette tape (remember those?) of trick or treat phrases and thank-you’s. Her robot costume was a great success until the burnt-out CPU chip I glued to the top of her head fell off. She came home and told me she’d had a ‘bottomy.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:47 pm

      Speak and Spell. My best friend had that. I was jealous, even though I could spell all the words. But it talked to you!

      Reply
  6. Catherine Johnson says

    October 28, 2011 at 11:06 am

    I’ve got the same purple wig, how cool! I read this quickly not realising it was your article all the while thinking this sounds just like Leanne. I’d recognise your humor anywhere now. Too funny!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:47 pm

      Thanks, Catherine. That’s good, right?

      Reply
      • Catherine Johnson says

        October 28, 2011 at 7:43 pm

        Oh yes!

        Reply
  7. Teresa Lepore says

    October 28, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    T flips the switch for the porch light from the basement. Sporadic beams of light fly into the atmosphere. Code experts conclude the message is: Great article. We’re gone until November first. ;}

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm

      Haha. Happy travels!

      Reply
  8. Kim Wilson says

    October 28, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    You always make me laugh! Great profiles of the 3 families. I particularly like the third. Ah, such irony. Homeless princess – now that’s a great idea!

    Reply
  9. Rebecca Stanfel says

    October 28, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Love this! And so true. We are surrounded by Addams families, so this year I’m going to adopt your travel mug survival strategy to get through the evening–and my son’s annual refrain of complaints about why we haven’t turned our front yard into a Halloween theme park like all the neighbors. Thanks for a great and funny read!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      October 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm

      I know. We’re the Garage Sale family. It is not exciting. Nor stylish.

      Reply
  10. skirttales says

    October 28, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Too funny! My hubby turns out the lights and the rest of us head for the church parking lot for trunk or treat.

    Reply
  11. Renee Schuls-Jacobson says

    October 28, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

    And I want that purple wig. 😉

    Would love to accompany your homeless princess and “the masked-hand” around the neighborhood. Monkey will be wearing some kind of hat.

    And a very warm coat.

    Reply
  12. Howlin' Mad Heather says

    October 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    The Addams Family people are the same people, I think, who put out the Christmas light show on Nov. 1 every year. Scary indeed. I really enjoyed this piece…and for the record, this year I’m going as a female Viking.

    Reply
  13. Cheryl W says

    October 29, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    Enjoyed your article in the Herald. My twins finally realized, at age 10, that not all Halloween costumes come from the tickle trunk in the basement. Worst mis-step was plunking a kid in a box covered with tinfoil and then watching as he fell down the front steps, with his arms stuck straight out the sides of the box. At least the width of the box kept him from smashing his little nose into the cement…

    Reply
  14. Mark Kaplowitz says

    October 30, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Very funny piece. The Mole Family is the perfect description. I think I want to be a Mole Family too. A mug full of Baileys – so that’s how parents get through Halloween. And here I thought little fun-sized 3 Musketeers were the only treat available.

    Reply
  15. Jud says

    October 30, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Hahahahaha pretty funny!
    I’m definitely on Addams Family side haha and that’s true, I start Christmas light show early November.
    I live in Mexico and I just found this blog by chance and I liked it, So I think I’ll visit this site often.
    🙂

    Reply

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