I love our fenced backyard. It’s a regulation-size chicken coop for twins. Open the patio door, send them out, and pour a glass of wine make a cup of tea. Sometimes I look out the window; usually I tweet. When I’m vying for Parent-of-the-Year, I’ll crack open a screen door to add an extra sensory dimension.
One nice fall day, I sent William and Vivian outside so I could read an entire article in the newspaper, something I haven’t accomplished since the Olympics were in Athens. I think I was three-quarters through the story when I heard a shrill, trip-to-emergency scream. Three Dash-like bounds later, I located the yeller. It was Vivian.
I sat my butt on the grass and dragged her onto my lap. Between shrieks, I managed to hear, “William…croquet…hit…head.”
I looked up and saw William kicking tufts of grass. He had yet to flee the crime scene.
It was at that point I said these words:
After administering basic First Aid, which involved placing a band-aid on Vivian’s hair, I interrogated the suspect and the victim.
From confessions and evidence, I believe Vivian taunted William, who reacted by throwing a croquet mallet in the air. Vivian’s head got in the way of gravity.
No blood, no concussion, and no more croquet. But with winter on its way, the hockey sticks will soon be out. One word: duck.
*
It’s Whiteboard Wednesday, so I have to ask:
Are there any wacky things you’ve said, heard, or witnessed recently?
“do you WANT me to throw away your toys if you can’t pick them up? Ok, then… in the trash they go!”
Did you throw them out? I’m tempted to say that just to clear out our living room.
Love the crime scene re-enactment! Wacky thing is the latest “time travel” video from a 1928 charlie chapman shoot. A woman looks like she’s talking on a cell phone. Have you seen it?
I just watched that. Bizarre!
“We do not roll on top of baby sister and squish her head into the mattress, even when she laughs.”
LMAO. Very funny.
That’s awesome!
🙂
First, I have to laugh, as I was reading this, I thought ‘why is she doing a Whiteboard Wednesday on a … what day is this???’ I have thought it was Thursday all day!
Just today I had to say, “We do not bring weapons to the table!”, when my son tried to put a play sword on the dinner table.
It sounds like that line came out of Braveheart…
I thought this one was prize worthy. “It’s hot for a Friday.”
1. I meant to say “It’s hot for September.”
2. It was a Tuesday.
LOL. I hear ya: My 6yo keeps better track of the days than I do.
This exact thing happened to me as a child… my parent has dragged me to yet another friends house and while they had coffee (aka boring adult conversatoin for hours on end) their son was trying to show me how to play croquette…. he ended up throwing his mallet up in the air and I too got in the way of gravity… I still remember everything going black and actually seeing stars before the wail erupted from me…. I didn’t even get a band aid and to add insult to injury, we stayed for dinner!
Ouch. Perhaps croquet mallets are weapons in disguise.
Best WW yet. Love the crime scene re-enactment.
“After administering basic First Aid, which involved placing a band-aid on Vivian’s hair, I interrogated the suspect and the victim.” What a great sentence. Not sure what special potion they enfuse band-aids with at the factory, but they are magical.
Me to the Hellcat yesterday: “Hey, don’t pull your pants down until you’re in the bathroom.” Cutting edge parenting advice.
Thanks for the WW fix (on Saturday morning).
Love that. I can see the bare butt waddling on way to bathroom. It is pretty cutting edge advice: we don’t want our kids to be doing that after their job interviews in 20 years.
“Even Zombie Mounties don’t pee on the neighbor’s front lawn.”
ROFLMAO. So many images…