This week I’m guest posting every day at Canadian Family. And the lovely people there have given me one subscription of their magazine to give away each day. If you wish to win, comment below. Of course, it would be great if you read the post in its entirety and found your way back here, but I know the perils of having multiple windows open.
Photo courtesy of Oakley Originals via Flickr (CC)
Here’s a teaser from the Kids, Chewing, and Dogs post that’s now on Canadian Family’s blog:
I once read that the purpose of parenting is to train one’s spawn to have slightly better manners than a dog.
I think I’m failing.
No wonder why I don’t own a dog. Some days, it’s amazing I’m allowed to parent.
There are many dog-like behaviours that annoy me about my five-year-old twins. Leading the list is chewing.
Click here to read the rest of my post.
And don’t forget to comment back here. Unless, of course, you’ve never seen a kid with horrible table manners. If that’s the case, you’re invited for dinner.
If you figure out the trick to getting viv to stop being so gross with food, PLEASE let me know. The 18 mth old is chewing for 10 min & then spitting it all out, usually in her lap!!! Seriously disgusting, so help would be appreciated. I do think it will help when she learns what the word swallow means. She seems to have it confused with spew. Love ya!!!!
It sounds vaguely cute when it’s not your own kid… 😉
Smiles and grins… Just wait until one tackles ‘the revenge of the eating utensil’ – the Bmovie version.. cuticle genocide will feel like the art of crunch and nibble on training wheels. The art of the tackle begins in earnest as does the infernal ‘eat properly manual’ that brings back his Master’s Voice by the earful only it’s us on THIS side of the megaphone and not the docile Mutt of eternal appreciative obedience sitting in stylised ardour to all they hear… were child-rearing a relegated relic to the era of the windup gramaphone… at least then the wind down wound bring the agony of table manners to a dead stop. So why would we deny ourselves the pleasure of this daily supply of sublime agonies…amid the spitting, the munching, the flying forks and mortal fear of what they can do with the blunt innocence of a fish knife! And we still lick our wounds as we watch them wolf down hamburgers at 19!
Knives? Yikes. Someday we’ll progress to cutlery.
My one year old is a great chewer. She is also a great spitter. So the routine goes like this: chew, spit, wipe into ears and hair; chew, spit, wipe into ears and hair. I just stand and stare. Waiting for the carnage to be over.
When I first read your comment, I thought you wrote, “I just stand and swear.” Then I realized I was projecting.
I actually have the opposite problem. My two-year-old hates having sticky fingers or a messy face, so we spend a great deal of meal time wetting and re-wetting cloths so we can continuously wipe fingers which are “doo doo” (dirty). We also have to stop and wash the spoon and fork if the handles get “doo doo”.
It sounds like a good problem. Unless it’s your child, I suspect. 🙂
Oh you’re back! -happy sigh- I can tell because you have that jaunty self-deprecating edge to your words again. Also good gig you’ve got going over at CF now your awesomeness will be known throughout the Great White North, from beaver to moose!
I’m blushing…thanks for the love.
My kids are on a no-eating kick right now so a little messy dog-like behavior would be welcome right about now.
A no-eating kick can’t be fun. That’s one problem I haven’t had to deal with yet.
teaching, mommying, wifing, facebooking, blogging, tweeting, salt-and-vinegar chip eating, marking, guesting… this is extreme multi-tasking moonlighting over achievement my friend. 🙂 Congrats – and I love reading along as always. Now I am going to shift my weight to another sofa cushion so that they all become equally dented. Just another excitement filled evening in the ‘pines. xo
Thanks, Vicki. Your sofa’s sounding extra nice….I can’t find mine for all the cheap plastic crap.
P.S. my previous post was purely of the “not for entry into the contest” sort. I barely qualify as “Canadian” anymore and as for the “Family” – my plants cause me enough trauma and worry – but at least they don’t show me their food!
I think you may have a camera installed in my house, your posts are always spot on with my own twins.
Let me know if you discover any secrets with the chewing…mine are almost 8, and for my lovely daughter if it isn’t tied down….it’s still in the mouth..well, even if it is tied down.
Congrats on the guest blog! As you know, I love your posts. 🙂
Thanks, Elena. Maybe twins drive us to have senses of humour….
I’ve written on this topic myself! My baby is very much dog like, I guess even to the point where grandma accidentally has purchased dog clothes for him.
She didn’t even think anything weird about the shirt saying “Hot Dog.”
That’s hilarious!
Great post – I had never heard of the concept you refer to however I have on many occasions remarked to my husband that having a toddler about the place is a lot like training a dog, only harder. In my case coming to heel is never a problem, it’s the “away’ command that does not get followed, and I find my little charge is forever at my feet. In our house the major problem currently is licking – surfaces are often targeted but the preferred object is either myself or Daddy.
When our kids were about 18 months, my husband taught them to sit, shake a paw, and roll over. A great hit at parties…