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MISSING: Thing 1 and Thing 2

Description: 3.5 inches tall, red all-in-one suits, blue Estelle Getty hair, names on outfit.

Identifying Characteristics: permanent tangled hair due to washing machine incident

Last Seen: October 31, 2011 at envelope at post office in San Francisco (following a non-stop party with Lizz from Am I a Funny Girl?)

En Route To: Mike of The Mike/Mitch Project in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

Reason for Traveling: They were in the middle of  Thing 1 and 2’s Excellent Adventure tour. They’ve been to Texas, Tennessee, West Virginia, Maryland, DC, Missouri, Georgia, and California. They have several more stops scheduled including (in no particular order):

USA: Pennsylvania, Florida, New York, Tennessee (Nashville x2), Oregon, Colorado, Illinois, New Jersey, Maryland (x2), Louisiana, California (Orange County)

Canada: Alberta (Edmonton), Ontario (x2),

The World: Mexico, England, Spain, The Netherlands, Switzerland, Singapore, Philippines, India (x2), Australia

Additional Information: While Thing 1 and Thing 2 are not believed to be dangerous, they are likely in need of therapy after their washing machine incident and being stuck in a padded envelope for longer than recommended.

Reward: I’ll make it worth your while. Trust me.

Do you have any clues/guesses as to their whereabouts? If so, please leave your conjectures in the comments. If you have no clue, please make up something amusing and leave it in the comments.

***

Other things you may wish to check out at blogs I co-write:

  • Holy Gwockomoly. This Birthday Card is Be.A.Utiful at StuffKidsWrite.com. Please also save your child’s Santa letters/lists and send them to Chase and me at stuffkidswrite(at)gmail.com.
  • My take on Life After Getting an Agent at Wordbitches.com.

Filed Under: Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure Tagged With: funny, funny mom, humor, Ironic Mom, Leanne Shirtliffe, parenting, Thing 1 & Thing 2's Excellent Adventure, Thing 1 and Thing 2

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lori Dyan says

    November 28, 2011 at 4:16 am

    I suspect that they were hitch-hiking to get back to you and got caught in that wicked wind storm – have you checked your trees?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      What trees? I live in a new-ish subdivision. 😉

      My basketball hoop, however, crashed onto the driveway with flair.

      Reply
  2. Catherine Johnson says

    November 28, 2011 at 4:17 am

    They must have had THE CALL and gone off to help some kids waist high in sand or something. They look like they could easily escape from a padded envelope. Have you tried calling out in rhyme as if you need help?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      Ha. Yes, they’re clearly up to no good. Must find that Seussian rhythm…

      Reply
  3. Ricky Anderson says

    November 28, 2011 at 5:45 am

    Last time we were in San Francisco, we got robbed.

    This time I suspect something far more foul…

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm

      Turkeys?

      Reply
  4. Gene Lempp says

    November 28, 2011 at 5:46 am

    I’ve seen this happen hundreds of time, mid-tour blues. They are probably holed up in some dive hotel watching the tube. There is one surefire way to get them to resurface: Plan a kegger. Invite all Things. Hang a net over the keg and when they slip in for a taste, lower the boom. Yep, works every time I lose my things.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm

      Plan a kegger = bwahaha.

      Reply
  5. Chase McFadden says

    November 28, 2011 at 5:49 am

    I have no clue.
    But as far as the Things’ whereabouts, maybe they double as Elfs on the Shelf this time of year?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm

      Elfs on the Shelf. Maybe. I still don’t totally get that concept. But I don’t really get how a toaster works either.

      Reply
  6. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson says

    November 28, 2011 at 7:06 am

    I was afraid that this could happen.
    Do you know I thought it could?
    Fingers crossed that they come home to you.
    And good Things will. Or should.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      Oh, you rhyming Diva, you outdo yourself,
      With your wonderful rhymes, you’re a Seussian elf!

      Reply
  7. K.B. Owen says

    November 28, 2011 at 7:24 am

    Nooo!! I think they’ve “gone Postal” – broke into a G.I.Joe store, grabbed some Uzis, and are heading over to McDonalds to hijack a few happy meals. Or it’s Lawn Gnomes.

    Hope they come to their senses and turn themselves in – soon!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      Brilliant pun. Brillaiont.

      Reply
      • Leanne Shirtliffe says

        November 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm

        Brillaiont is apparently the new Canadian spelling of brilliant…

        Reply
  8. susielindau says

    November 28, 2011 at 7:36 am

    It’s obvious that they hopped over to Vegas to take in a couple of shows and to see what kind of trouble they could get into. I am sure they will have stories to blog after they find their way home~
    When they do make it back, I would love to take them skiing~

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm

      Do you think they’re gambling? Skiing sounds fab! Can you sign up on the actual page so I don’t forget you? http://ironicmom.com/excellent-adventure/

      Reply
  9. melsar93 says

    November 28, 2011 at 8:33 am

    When last seen they had been shoved into a large crate by a large feline in a top hat. He has promised to let them out only when ‘Mother is away.” He is clearly deranged and this is obviously a reference to some sort of oedipal complex. According to my source (known only as The Fish) the cat is to be considered fun and dangerous.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:35 pm

      Ha ha!

      Mike, I think they’re afraid you might put them in one of your recipes. As ingredients…

      Reply
  10. thoughtsappear says

    November 28, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Oh no! When I mailed The Jolie, she took a few weeks to go someplace that I could have driven in 45 minutes. But she did eventually show up. I hope they show up, too!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:35 pm

      Your story gave me hope…

      Reply
  11. Elena Aitken says

    November 28, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Maybe they’re caught up in the Christmas ‘chaos’ and will show up soon, either that or they blew away as Lori suggested. Lord knows half the shingles did. Hope they come home soon.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm

      I hope your shingles come home soon, too. 😉

      Reply
  12. gojulesgo says

    November 28, 2011 at 9:04 am

    I think they’re in the hospital being seen by Dr. Seuss. They got pepper sprayed this weekend while trying to purchase the cat a new hat for 50% off.

    Reply
    • melsar93 says

      November 28, 2011 at 9:08 am

      Are you sure it wasn’t during the Occupy Whoville demonstration?

      Reply
      • Leanne Shirtliffe says

        November 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm

        You guys are cracking me up!

        Reply
  13. hopefulleigh says

    November 28, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Two words: Black. Friday. Poor, poor Things.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:36 pm

      Yes. More victims…

      Reply
  14. EllieAnn says

    November 28, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I believe the washing machine incident gave them a taste for water adventures and they’re now white water rafting down the Colorado River on a pint-size pirate ship with a gerbil crew.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:37 pm

      That has created a WonderPets vision in my brain…

      Reply
  15. Bill says

    November 28, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Now that you’ve found them, but gotten new ones, you’ll have to designate them as “Thing 1a”, “Thing 1b”, “Thing 2a”, and “Thing 2b” just to avoid confusion won’t you? And what about them? Will their alter-egos get confused? (“If this is Tuesday, this must be Belgium” comes to mind.)

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:37 pm

      Oh dear. This is a dilemma. The clones? The European ones will have nicer hair…

      Reply
  16. Tameri Etherton says

    November 28, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    So, I read the found post first and then this one, so I know where they are, but still think this post is hysterically funny!

    If Thing 1 & Thing 2 (either incarnation, the therapy needing pair or the new one from ebay) want to go to Disneyland, send them my way. I’d be happy to show them the Happiest Place on Earth! Mickey probably would like to see them, too.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      How fun would that be…

      Can you add your name to the list on this page: http://ironicmom.com/excellent-adventure/?

      Reply
  17. julie gardner says

    November 28, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    A. I hope you continue to use the Original Things with their altered hair. Fresh, blue hair would be a real slap in the face to loyal Thing Followers. (Not really. But some of us are sensitive about bad hair days, so…)

    B. I think you need to write a “What you say when your THING’s missing that sounds dirty but isn’t” post.

    Or not. 🙂

    (So glad they are safe and sound. Really.)

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 10:08 pm

      Yes, I think the new set will go on reserve… Only one worldwide tour, after consultation…

      Reply
  18. educlaytion says

    November 28, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    That reward sounds like an IYKWIM if I’ve ever heard one. Did you check eBay?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 28, 2011 at 10:08 pm

      Who me? Couldn’t be…

      Reply
  19. Amy says

    November 28, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    I’m totally guessing the company mail room. Going out on a limb, eh?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:02 pm

      You psychic, you!

      Reply
  20. Rebecca Stanfel says

    November 29, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    The Things clearly have a much more fabulous life than me. Ahh, to be part of the jet set prowled by the paparazzi. I’m glad they showed up. I’d offer them a stay at Chez Chronic Town in Montana, but we’re up to our ears in snow already and they’d just have to watch me take lots of naps–with, sadly, no paparazzi to record even any drool.

    Have fun on the next leg of your journey, Oh Things. Stay only as near to trouble as you need to be.

    Rebecca

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:03 pm

      Maybe I’ll come instead and catch up on a nap or two..not to mention a visit!

      Reply
      • Rebecca Stanfel says

        November 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm

        You are always welcome. Minimum daily nap requirements are enforced.

        Reply
  21. Kelley says

    November 29, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Glad you found those little farts. I can’t imagine the mess they left behind at the Post Office.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:03 pm

      I know. I expect stink bombs…

      Reply
  22. Angela Orlowski-Peart says

    November 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Keep them on a leash now that you found them 🙂 Although I’m afraid they would gnawed through it with their little pointy teeth in a jiffy. They have little pointy teeth, right?

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:04 pm

      They must have pointy teeth. I don’t think they’ve ever been brushed either, which is rather ewww.

      Reply
  23. Larry Hehn says

    November 29, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Maybe they were on a plane.
    Maybe they were on a train.
    Maybe they were in a box.
    Maybe they were with a fox.
    Maybe they were here. Or there.
    Maybe they weren’t anywhere!

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:04 pm

      Love it.

      Reply
  24. Ado says

    November 29, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Oh this is funny.
    I just love Thing 1 and Thing 2 but I am a little fonder of Thing 2 since he’s the “second born” and probably always gets the short end of the stick.
    Glad you located the little sh*ts. (-;
    I have had a similar nightmare with Mr. Bacon – a bendy doll and blogging nightmare who arrived at my house finally last week and now I must blog about him, the little sh*t.

    Reply
    • Leanne Shirtliffe says

      November 29, 2011 at 9:05 pm

      Mr. Bendy…now there’s an IYKWIM doll.

      Reply
  25. Laura Donnelly says

    December 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    This is all way too much fun!! can’t wait to see what Things my brother will have them doing next…. 🙂

    Reply

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