Because we are masochists, we bought both Vivian and William a portable stereo for Christmas. These two gifts were even new. My husband purchased them for $10 each in some industrial area. I’m hoping they weren’t stolen from under someone else’s tree, but my husband assured me the place looked “pretty legit.”
We also bought our twins headphones because we’re not that stupid. Of course, William has already shredded one of his foam ear coverings, no doubt as research for the degree he’s working on, a Masters in Destroying Things.
I burned Vivian and William a CD, which was harder than it sounds. I managed to find fourteen songs that fit my two criteria: (1) our kids would like the music, and (2) the songs would not cause me to curl up in the fetal position and begin rocking. The final playlist includes The Black Eyed Peas, Bruce Springsteen, K’Naan, Elliot Brood, Van Morrison, Great Big Sea, Coldplay, Rusted Root, and Wintersleep. And even DJ Champion (because that makes me seem cooler than I am). You will also note that I didn’t check any lyrics for appropriate content.
It’s been fun watching Thing 1 and Thing 2 dance and nearly strangle themselves with their headphones. I did some exaggerated parenting: “If you play the music loudly, you’ll lose all of your hearing forever.” Soon, after some amusing head jerks, Vivian and William learned to restrict their movements while wearing the headphones. They even managed to dance in one spot for quite some time (i.e. two whole songs).
After song two, though, I noticed William wasn’t dancing. I looked over at him and saw him kneeling down. I thought he was looking at the speaker, trying to figure out how it works. Then I looked closer and said this:
It was sensory overload, for all of us. I’m not yet in the fetal position, but there are still hours left in the day.
I couldn’t believe it when I heard “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye,” coming from one of my children on Boxing Day. Who talks like that?
So true. I always realize what I repeatedly say when my kids start parroting it back to me.
On a recent trip to Disneyland, we saw Goofy signing autographs. It’s always very exciting for kids to spot a “character” & get his/her photo & autograph. Or so I thought. When I asked my too young to be cynical DD if she wanted her photo taken with him, she replied: “Mom, it’s just some random dude in a costume.” (Eye roll). Kids. They grow up so fast.
They do grow up so fast. I may have to incorporate “random dude” into my daily vocabulary…
Pretty legit. What more do you want?
“We also bought our twins headphones because we’re not that stupid.” Quantifying is important when it comes to decisions with kids and potentially loud objects.
Funny thing today. Or yesterday. They blend together. 4YO says, “Dad, can I have some hot chocolate?” Sure. Remove from microwave, take to him, anticipating praise. “Dad, I meant cold hot chocolate.” Of course.
LOL. I think Starbucks would benefit from carrying cold hot chocolate!
I don’t have any weird sayings for you, however I want to comment to say that I am such a fan of your blog, and of your parenting methods. I plan to be just like you, if I accidentally get pregnant and the boy and I cannot resist the opportunity of finding out whether or not our progeny also has red hair (he says no, I say yes, but there’s only one way to find out)…
Aww, thanks. Good luck with accidentally getting pregnant. 😉
I buy headphones and then spend the rest of however long (until they chew the cord or lose them) shouting: “The reason you have headphones is so I don’t have to hear your music! Stop singing outloud!”.
And then, I put my earphones back into my ears and sing along to Keith Urban and Bon Jovi….
Yes – earphones for mom. I think I need some of those massive, noise-reduction ones. Music is optional.
A coworker, A, (that I don’t know all that well) and I walked to a nearby bar along the river front for happy hour. Since it was raining, we took the shortcut along the water, which involved me picking my way across a lawn-and-cobblestone path in three-inch-heeled boots. Since I nearly fell down and killed myself several times – she linked arms with me, held me tight and kept me thankfully upright.
Arriving safely on the sidewalk I said, “Oh A, I feel so safe in your arms.”
A: “Well, there’s something I never thought I’d hear Keenie Beanie say.”
LOL. You are brave to walk in 3-inch heels. For me, that would be the fastest way to meet the pavement. I love how you were struggling so hard to get to a bar!
I love these sayings, but you own the blogger crown for descriptive imagery. The pics make me laugh everytime. And pretty legit is my middle name.
Pretty legit strikes me as one of those phrases that can get you out of (or into) a lot of trouble…